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The 5-Minute Life Tune-Up! |
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 | Why is communication so hard sometimes? |
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 As time goes on, the more I notice how challenging it can be to get our message across in various situations. I have observed so very many ways that communication can get confused and tangled up or simply misunderstood. For one thing, there are so many more methods to communicate than ever before. And, it can be a challenge to choose the right method for the circumstance at hand. For example, at times we may rely on texting or emailing to convey complex information while speaking in person or by telephone is sorely needed for completion and clarity. Another issue is the hurriedness of modern life. When we are rushing around to get places or to get things done, communication may be truncated or absent, causing confusion or frustration. Frustration often leads to further communication problems, and on it goes. In this month's Tune-Up, I'd like to offer up some thoughts on making your communication with others smoother, easier, and more complete. When we communicate well, we connect well...and as everyone knows, this life is all about good, solid connection! |
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Tune-Up! |
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What stops communication for you?
Take a moment to think about what might be getting in the way of your communication with those around you. Do you often deal with people whose personalities are very different from yours? Do you sometimes get wrapped up in what you're doing and forget to communicate information? Do you have repeating conflicts that keep cropping up with certain close people?
Beginning to identify your patterns and barriers is a good first step to addressing the communication trouble. Even normal, everyday shyness or fear can sometimes get in the way of communicating well, and noticing this can be a step towards making things better.
It would be impossible for me to address every possible communication snafu that comes up, but I have thought of a few general issues to be aware of related to communicating in this modern age. Perhaps one or two of them will strike a chord with you.
- Be transparent. In work and personal relations, we often have the impulse to be "political" or cagy in our communication because we feel we should. Wherever possible, try out transparency and openness. This will set a tone of better communication for everyone around you.
- Better to have good relationships than to be "right" all the time. Many people these days are very detail oriented and appreciate accuracy, but continually correcting people's speech, writing, or ideas can create unbalanced and contentious relationships. That is not the best way to proceed when you want communication to flow well.
- Even if you are a great listener, challenge yourself to listen even better. For all of us, even wonderful listeners, it is sometimes tempting to think ahead to what we want to say before truly taking in someone else's ideas. Communicating well involves deep understanding.
- On the other hand, be sure to give yourself a voice. Listening is crucial, but some of us don't speak up when we know we need to. Activist Maggie Kuhn said "Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes". To me, this means that your voice is important and should never be silenced by fear.
- As mentioned earlier, use the correct mode of communication for the nature of the message. If you are communicating something important by email, it can be helpful to delay sending it by at least one day and/or have someone you trust look it over first before sending. Voicemail and texting are great for certain types of messages but not others. Think it through first and decide what makes the most sense.
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The Challenge! |
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Your Challenge for this month:
Together with a close friend or family member, have a conversation about any difficulties you may have lately around communication. Whether the issue has to do with email, a particular person at work, or in social situations - talk over what the barriers have been for you with communication and what you feel might be a step towards making it better. Take this step seriously as a goal, and check back in with your buddy on this in two weeks to notice what has occurred in this time period.
Email me when you've completed the challenge to let me know what you're learning. As always, I would love to hear from you! |
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for a free sample
coaching session.
Molly~
call me at 617-625-6804 or
Coaching can happen from any
location by telephone or by Skype.
Geography is not a barrier!
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