For this month's Tune-Up I am returning to one my favorite topics, communication. But, how is leadership tied into communication, you may ask? The answer is simple: In every way! Leadership is all about using communication effectively. And, communicating well is all about having stronger, better relationships with those around us.

To be a leader is to be someone who is able to positively motivate and inspire other people. All of us need to do this in our daily lives whether it's about parenting, supporting loved ones going through tough times, or superving staff on the job. All of us are leaders! Whether we are emerging leaders or deeply practiced leaders, communicating well and helping to movitivate others is a necessary practice along the journey. 

But, motivating other people is not always so easy. Change is hard for all of us and so resistance is almost always a part of the equation no matter who we are trying to inspire to action. How can we be conscious of our communication when we are in the position of "leader" as a parent, community member, or a manager? Read on.

• Listen well and get to know what is important to the person you want to motivate. Most of us are motivated to do well when we can focus on something that matters to us. Visualizing rewards and results that are personally meaningful really makes a difference. 
   
• Come into any "leadership" interaction with an attitude of trust in the other person. People tend to respond more openly and perform better when someone has trust that they will do well.
   
• Borrowing language from the field of Motivational Interviewing for behavior change: Learn to "roll with resistance". As mentioned earlier, all of us tend to fight making changes. As leaders, we can learn to move past frustration with that resistance and to just keep going forward in a calm and positive way.
   
• Be aware of your reactions and the words you use. Often times in high pressure or emotional situations we may react quickly and not communicate so clearly or in ways that others can receive well. Take a deep breath and consider your response before speaking.
   
• Don't be afraid to use humor to help motivate others. We are all used to hearing that deadly serious authoritarian voice and tend to block it out or freeze with fear. For better results, try a little humor!
   
• Model behavior that you would like to see in others. People notice those who don't "walk the talk" and will then respond accordingly. Being a leader means being consistent as much as possible with who you are and what you stand for.

Communicating well is always a work in progress and can be a special challenge when the goal to inspire others. When the situation feels daunting, remember: if you are starting from a place of empathy, trust, and good will it's hard to go wrong.

Your Challenge for this month: Journal a paragraph or two on the question of what motivates and inspires you to do well. If you need help with the question, try writing about the best manager or teacher you've ever had and what that person did to motivate you. Add a paragraph or two on how you might use this information in your current interactions with others.

Email me when you've completed the challenge to let me know what you're learning. As always, I would love to hear from you!