Who do you treasure most in your life?
This simple and stark question gets at the core of what we need to know about balancing our lives. Keeping our treasured people and ideals in the front of our minds is the key to making sure they remain a high priority in terms of our actions. To be clear, I am by no means dismissing the importance of work. It allows us to meet our basic needs and to support our families - and it serves other purposes for us as well. But, focusing on balance and valuing work are not mutually exclusive. We can begin with taking a closer look at our personal attitudes towards work.
When you think about yourself and work, do any of the following statements describe you?
- I feel that I should never say "no" to any extra work or new projects.
- In my mind, there are no busy or un-busy work periods. I'm crazy busy all the time.
- I feel I have to stay late at work even if there's not something important to finish.
- I frequently bring work home with me.
- I can't easily unwind after work. It's hard to separate myself mentally from the job.
- I need to check my work email frequently during my off hours.
- I get a great deal of my sense of self and my sense of personal power from my work.
- I admit that I tend to easily fall in line with a "workaholic" culture on the job.
- Even though I feel burned out, I never seem to slow down.
Whether you agree with some of these statements or none of them, we can all ask ourselves how the work part of our lives fits in among all the other important parts.
Try looking inward to ask: Am I able to shut off work when I need to and focus on the close connections in my life? Am I aware of the impact of my divided attention on my kids, partner, and other loved ones? Does my health and well-being suffer because of work? Do I notice that time is passing that I will never get back?
If any of these questions give you pause, try the following activity: Next weekend, set aside some uninterrupted time with someone close to you to evaluate how you feel about your work/life balance. Together with that person, put a commitment in place to make some small changes in your behavior around work. It could be as small as shutting down your work email (after working hours) for 3 days out of a week, or making an early dinner plan twice a week, so you can make sure you're off work on time.
Most importantly, don't give up on your newly implemented change! Give it at least 30 days to become a habit. After a month has passed, try another small change and then set aside a date to evaluate how far you have come with your work/life balance.
If you feel strongly that making changes in your work habits could jeopardize your job, you should certainly consider the possible consequences before acting. But, be sure you are separating your fears and worries from fact. Often we don't know how truly valuable we are to our employers; so actually those fears may be unfounded. Most managers want to keep competent motivated people as long as they can. | 
