The 5-Minute Life Tune-Up!

Is a job done right important to you? Most of us pride oursevles on being thorough, careful, hardworking, and detail-oriented. We see all the possibilities for mediocrity in the world and we try our best to avoid it. And, yet paradoxically, sometimes our progress is actually impeded by our pursuit of perfection. At times, perfectionism is what gets in the way of doing a good job - in some cases it even prevents projects from getting started at all.

One good example is around the process of learning something new. Many of us feel, even as beginners, that we "should" already know everything there is to know about a new subject. As a result we may be reticent to try out our new skills - we fear that they won't be perfect so we don't even start. We may shy away from being so vulnerable as to "not know", especially when we compare ourselves to others.

Other times when starting a project or a goal that feels very important - perhaps something we have long dreamed about doing, we may fear launching into the work, not knowing whether it will reach the level of excellence we had always imagined. In these cases, perfectionism becomes a form of procrastination or simply inertia. This kind of fear can stop us in our tracks!

Yet, the irony is that when perfectionist tendencies strike, worse than  doing something imperfectly, we are not doing anything at all - we're stuck. We may really be missing out on some wonderful experiences that could make our lives so much better!

Do you hold yourself to impossible standards?

If so, you may be shortchanging yourself in terms of your forward motion. For one thing, all the psychic energy you put in to comparing yourself to outside standards or to worring about getting things exactly right is undoubtably taking away from the energy you could be putting into the actual work. Innovation, creativity, and productivity thrive in an atmosphere of "flow" or present attention. When our minds are focused elsewhere - perhaps on a fear of failing or of not being perfect,  we are less engaged in what we are doing in the here and now. 

It's a self-fulfilling prophesy that we may end up doing more poorly on something when we put energy into worrying about how we are doing.

For next time, try a new way of engaging with a project: Approach the project with an attitude of lightness and curiosity about the actual work you'll be doing. Notice those perfectionsim feelings as they arise but don't hang on to them - let them float by and return to the actual work with the mind of a curious child. Even work that is very serious and difficult can be approached this way. The idea is to be very present with the actual tasks and to let those perfectionist thoughts pass on through.

Some of us have a slightly different problem with perfectionism. We tend to hold ourselves to an imagined or a hoped-for standard from the past. We compare our current self to an ideal we'd created long ago. Again, when we focus on these thoughts, we have less energy and strength for doing the important things that are right in front of us.

If this is an issue for you, try out some journal writing about your life path so far. A great journaling question to answer is this: What richness, color, and vitality has this crazy and unexpected path of life brought to you? If journaling is not your thing, try it out as a drawing on a big piece of paper - create a colorful life timeline, staring with your date of birth, twisting and winding around all the way to today! Mark down points of interest and learning along the journey.

Or for a very easy way to engage with this question; simply have this conversation with a loved one.  As you talk about the answer, begin to tie it in to your current work/school/family tasks and projects. See what you notice when you start to appreciate your actual path as opposed to your imagined path!

Your challenge for this month: Last month you set some benchmark dates for the coming year for a few goals you wanted to acheive. Now is the time to review them and make any adjustments you need to make. Evaluate your progress so far. And, if perfectionism is stopping you from moving forward on your goals try out some of the ideas from above - the curious present attention, the journaling, or the life timeline.

Email me when you've done the challenge to let me know what you are learning. As always, I'd love to hear from you!