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Maridel Bowes, M.A.
www.evolvingjourney.com





In This Issue
Anniversary Questions
The Easy, The Hard and the Powerfully Peaceful
Speaking of Change


 
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Anniversary Questions
 

It's the first anniversary of the second edition of Crossing Paths! Last week would have been the official anniversary, but I was spotted in both Long Beach and Dublin California between Sunday and Thursday. That's a whammy for my introverted self especially since I was selling books at a huge conference at the former and speaking to a large group at the latter! For some stalwart (and younger) souls, like my friend and marketer, Michelle Risley, a newsletter would still have been whipped out and served up steaming hot and right on time. Alas, I've learned, however reluctantly, to accept my physical ... oh, let's not call them limitations. Let's call them "personal parameters." Or perhaps just "being kind to Maridel."

Anniversaries celebrate the origins of happy things, but they also are a remembrance of people lost or promises broken. I often find myself using anniversaries a bit differently, regardless of the nature of the event. On anniversaries I like to ask, "How am I different now? How have I changed? And if applicable, "How did that particular experience contribute to my evolution?"

So on this anniversary of Crossing Paths and our year together, I invite to muse with me about what it means to see our own progress and cherish it.
 
The Easy, The Hard and the
 
Powerfully Peaceful
 
 
Easy to Forget. When I was a therapist, I was surprised that one of my primary functions wasn't a skill taught in graduate school. I'll call it, "The Progress Slide Show." People seemed to have "progress amnesia." To me, they were froggy leaps and antelope bounds from where they were last year, or in some cases, even a few months before. But all they could see was what hadn't changed. So I would dim the lights and let the retrospective roll. When the music faded and the lights came up, they were inevitably smiling and ready to take the next step in what they now saw as their "process of progress." Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we so prone to see "what's not okay today" instead of "what's true today" that wasn't last year?

Easy to Judge Our Former Selves. Now here's a quirky side effect of "seeing your progress." A few years ago, my son Gavin shared a discovery with me. "I'm realizing my tendency to look back on where I was spiritually or emotionally and judge that version. Like, 'Oh I thought I was really conscious then! Ha! Now I'm so much more aware! Why did I think I was so mature?'"  I recognized the feeling. I'd slogged around in it frequently while reading old journals. "But then I saw that if I judge my former self," he said, "someday soon I'll be judging where I am now!" Laughter ensued as we both caught a glimpse of the trickster, scurrying away, pretending not to be seen.

Harder to Just Be Present. Eventually, seeing our progress and loving all the versions of ourselves that got us here, gives way to something else. Being present now. While my life right now looks like a smiling runaway train to many looking on, there are crucial ways in which I feel quite blocked. When I sit with myself and turn on my own retrospective slide show, I, like my former clients, feel supported to keep going. The  transformation, in the last year alone, is undeniable! But when that that important exercise is over, there's only one thing that sustains my peace:  accepting where I am right now and being fully in it. Not because I don't want certain things to change, but because I finally see that I'll always want "certain things to change."

And so will you.

But what if we bring about the highest order of change by being present to "what is" now? Not letting our minds dictate, but allowing our spirits to govern. When I went through a very dark passage several years ago, my son offered this sage advice: "Mom, as hard as this is right now, you don't want to look back and say, "Wow, that was such a powerful time-and I missed it by wanting to be somewhere else!" That was the day I decided to let the elixir of the present work its magic in me and out of that, I tapped into a core strength that I'd always looked to others to supply. Now it's ever with me

Love It All. I got a great sleeping tip this week. "Never spend more than 20 minutes trying to get to sleep. Then get up and in the softest light possible, read a magazine (rather than a date with Mr. Grisham), and when you feel ready, lie back down. I did that twice this week and it worked. (Once asleep, I'm a bona fide descendent of the R. V. Winkle family.) Hey, I'm also catching up on my "O" magazines! The night before last, Julianna Margulies' AHA! Moment greeted me. Here's the gist of what she said: "Enjoy all of it, even the stressful things, because you'll never have that time again. Instead of making difficult things hard (by resisting them), make them loving. Knowing that this is just one moment, whatever kind of moment it is, is a more peaceful way to live." 

Let's celebrate the growth of this last year, accept and love the challenges of today knowing that they too, will one day simply be "where we were then." And choose to be present to all of it!
 
Til We Cross Paths Again,
 
 Maridel 
 
 
 Speaking of Change ...
 
 
Cheryl's New Logo
 
"Where Is Grandma Today?" In Social Media Bootcamp with Ann Evanston. By the end of the year, this newsletter, my blog and my Evolving Journey website will be one entity -- a central place where people can check out everything without leaving the site. Except to go visit Grandma at www.whoareyoucallinggrandma.com
 
For now click the Where Is Grandma Today blog link above for the latest ungrammatical adventures
 
Remember, "Who Are You Calling Grandma? True Confessions of a Baby Boomer's Passage"  makes a great gift. 
 
Visit
www.whoareyoucallinggrandma.com today to order! 

� 2009 Evolving Journey. All Rights Reserved. Contact Maridel Bowes at [email protected].



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