The Good: Laughter. I'm thinking right now of my friend, Jodi, who has the most contagious and amazing laugh of anyone I know. Jodi loves to laugh and sees the humor in all kinds of things like an "intimidating" boss who blessed himself with the royal whipped cream of self-importance. Others cowered, Jodi stifled giggles--though not always successfully. So according to our premise, would you say that life serves up more things for Jodi to laugh about than the average person--or less?
The Bad: Complaining. I probably could leave it right there. One word and you're nodding your head. But allow me to state the obvious for the sake of my shtick. People who focus on complaining (i.e., everything that's wrong but I don't plan to do anything about it) find sooooooo much to complain about! No, I retract that statement: things to complain about find them!
The most graphic experience I've ever had of this was in a restaurant many years ago. My friend and I had just commented on the wonderful service when a man in our section, a customer of the same waiter, found three things to complain about-which he did vehemently to us as well as to the waiter. (Kind of made you think he'd had this problem before.)
The Brutally Ugly: Self-doubt. I made this pairing because self-doubt (aka insecurity) is a way we bruise and bloody ourselves. Yesterday, at an eWomen event, I shared a completely refreshing experience with the whole audience. One of the women on a panel of four, had the honesty to acknowledge that self-doubt was not only going on in her head right that minute, but in the heads of all the other panelists: "Did I answer that as well as I could have? Oh, they clapped louder for her. Did I talk too long? I'm not as funny as she is." None of us are probably going to see those tapes go up in smoke a la Mission Impossible, BUT when we see and acknowledge them for what they are rather than hyperfocus on them as real, we avoid stockpiling more of the same. For me, it can be magical just to say to myself, "Oh, there I go, being insecure for no reason." Which means I stop the focus.
The Blatantly Beautiful: Miracles. If you haven't seen the movie, "Charlotte's Web," rent it, not so much for the movie as for the "Special Features." (but it's even better if you watch the movie too) There, you will find two things that just might give you chills, bring you to tears-or both. The first is Sarah McLaughlin, sitting in the barn on the movie set singing, "Ordinary Miracles."
"The sky knows when it's time to snow
No need to teach a seed to grow ...
It's just another ordinary miracle today"
Then, remembering that this story focuses on fantastical miracles--and in particular, an extraordinary spider, watch the miracle that unfolded on the set of this movie, blowing cast, crew and directors away. They'd focused on the miraculous for weeks ... and at the end, a miracle found them.
What we focus on increases in our own experience. So why not focus on miracles--the "ordinary" and the "extraordinary." Why not acknowledge the hints of the miraculous--even when we're in the midst of challenge or difficulty? When we have the awareness and grace to do that, more miracles are on the way.
