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The Chronically Happy
"Chronic" is not a constant state. Merriam the Dictionarian (not to be confused with Marion the Librarian) defines it as 1) of long duration or frequent recurrence and 2) being such habitually. So when I speak of the chronically happy, I'm not talking incurably perky, obsessively smiling or "just look at the bright side" Pat (last name: Phrases). I'm talking about people who, as a way of life, prefer to be happy. Say what? "Doesn't everyone?" Sadly, no.
There are those whose radio station is permanently tuned to KMAD or KSAD or any number of frequencies on the wave length of "what's-wrong-and-why-but-it doesn't-have-to-do-with-me." Their preference is not happiness, but rather dissatisfaction. And the real tragedy is, most of them aren't even aware of it and wonder why happiness eludes them. Being unconscious of being unconscious is a painful way to live.
Of course, most of us fall somewhere in-between the habitually happy and the habitually unhappy, but with increasing self-awareness comes a wealth of opportunities to make KHAP our station of preference.
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The Ways and Means Committee of Happpiness
1. Different Styles for Different Smiles. We have a consensual image of what happiness looks like: Smiling, upbeat, merry people whose infectious spirit brightens the day, the hour, the moment. One of the best things astrology taught me is that even qualities like happiness are not expressed in a uniform way. There are different styles: a warm, accepting presence; a quiet smile; a twinkling eye; an easy, from-the- heart laugh; an outlook of genuine optimism; a carried sense of Spirit, and thus of meaning, in all things. You can only be "chronically happy" if you are true to your own style of expression.
2. Chronic, Not Constant. While there may well be people in this world who are genuinely happy "all the time," I have to admit I'm suspect of those who proclaim it. Why? Because for me, the goal of being human is one of greater and greater wholeness. And while happiness is part of wholeness, it's not the whole burrito (Admit, it - you were bored with "enchilada"). Growing up, one of my favorite scriptures began, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun." Within that passage are these lines, "a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance." It is the spectrum of our humanity that makes us whole.
3. So Don't Fake it 'Til You Make It. Happiness isn't happiness unless it's genuine. And the fake kind, while it may be appreciated and appropriate at the cash register or from your waiter, can't really be called happiness. I once heard a guest on Oprah proclaim, "No matter how I'm feeling, I always tell people, "I'm GREAT!" I won't elaborate on my response, but I will tell you this: I didn't want to buy her book. If you're feeling blue, befuddled, or batty, there's honor in acknowledging it, briefly saying why (if appropriate) and moving on. And there's honor as well in pouring out the whole story to someone who loves you. Ironically, you'll almost always feel better.
4. The Rumor Is True. I've never read the book, "Happiness Is An Inside Job,* but I agree with the title. As a culture, we've gotten much more psychologically savvy in the last decade, and as a result there's a prevailing rumor that "no one else (nor any thing) can make you happy." As in this case, sometimes rumors are true. But I think I chose that word because as a culture, we haven't quite caught up with that truth. We still continue to talk about what, who or where would "make me happy." "I'd be so happy if only he or she would X or Z." "I'll be so happy when 'dis or 'dat is over." "Once I get there instead of here, I'll be happy." Really? For how long? Taking responsibility for our own happiness--or lack of it--is the only way to end up in the "Chronically Happy Club."
I leave you with this: When do you feel most genuinely happy?
Til We Cross Paths Again, Maridel
*( Just found out there are actually two books by this title. One by Sylvia Boorstein, and the other by one of my all-time favorite authors, John S. Powell.)
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It's May! That means that your free one month subscription to "But That's Not All!" is beginning.
With the first edition, we will take a deeper look at what it takes to be chronically happy and how to co-exist with the chronically unhappy. (Just in case you know one or two!) |
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Grandma's Coming!
If you haven't bought my irreverent, trimester journal of preparing myself to become a grandmother, Don't! The fabulous second edition of "Who Are You Calling Grandma? True Confessions of a Baby Boomer's Passage" is due out in June. And worth the wait!
Of course, the story hasn't changed (that would be weird) but everything else has:
-- New Cover! (For those of you who have seen the first edition, you won't be asking "Who is that on the cover?")
-- New Subtitle!
-- New Foreward by Hal Zina Bennett, author of "Write From the Heart"
-- New Afterward by Yours Truly.
-- New Back Cover Copy
-- NEW PUBLISHER! This edition is being published by 3L Publishing, owned by my marketer guru, Michelle Gamble-Risley and her business partner, Michele Smith.
So see? Even if you already have the book, you can pass your copy on to someone else and get the new one for yourself. (Or versa vice.)
I'll be chronicling this "Grand Occasion" over the next several weeks, starting with an unveiling of the new cover!
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