"The attitude of gratitude." Catchy. Easy to remember and as easy to hand out as a leaflet at a rally. But as I write this newsletter on Valentine Day, I contend that attitude springs from the mind while gratitude is a dayspring of the heart. After all, attitude can be good, as in, "Great attitude!" or not-so-good, as in, "For starters, young lady, get rid of that attitude!"

 

But gratitude is singular.

It arises. It overflows. It can be speechless or shouty. It's not a product of the mind and therefore, no one can command you to be grateful, including yourself. Gratitude is a response, one that can arise even in the dark -- when attitude has slid to the floor and slinked away.

Many years ago, a family friend told the story of a time when his business was in financial trouble. The mood in the office was tense and his own fears were climbing. In the midst of this atmosphere, his business partner came into his office closed the door behind him. My friend braced himself for more bad news. Instead his partner offered words he never forgot. "Harry, thank God it's only money."

We know when we're in the presence of genuine gratitude and we know when its presence lives in us. And so, while telling ourselves or others we should be "more grateful" isn't a viable strategy, I do believe we can make space for the vast, wild beauty of gratitude to outgrow the perimeters of our little yards.