Underbelly One: You really have taken on way too much. You said, "Yes" when your gut was vigorously shaking its head NO. You're keeping up with things that no longer suit, interest or become you. You half-heartedly fulfill obligations that once made sense--before a change of health, spouse or locale. Yet every time someone suggests eliminating something for the sake of your sanity or your pallor, you defend your brood of squealing commitments.
Underbelly One? Habit. You've been doing it for as long as your best friend has known you and it's hiding something. If you weren't overwhelmed, you'd feel ... what? Sad? Angry? Scared? Or worst of all ... worthless. But as long as your plate is piled high and dripping over the edges, you'll never know. Meantime, what's underneath is running the show.
Years ago, I read the account of a woman who was stopped in her overwhelmed tracks by a life-threatening illness. Now she found herself camping out on the couch, sipping tea, and watching rain drops run races down the window pane. To her own surprise, she felt grateful. Inside that vignette was everything her life had been missing: Solitude. Self-care. Simple pleasure. Quiet. Rest. Contemplation. And most of all, Realization that in this "unproductive" state, her life had worth.
Antidote: Pare down, slow down, sit down -- by choice. And if you find you can't, enlist the support of someone who can help you expose the hidden cause of your overbooked life.
Underbelly Two: You believe the mind's insidious game. This applies in all cases -- whether you've taken on too much; whether life has handed you more than you're used to; or whether you're happy with your unfolding path (but would enjoy it more if you weren't so overwhelmed!).
Insidious Commandments of the Mind:
1. Stay hyper-vigilant of everrrrrrrythinnnnnng you have to do!
Antidote: Choose the one thing you are doing. Eating oatmeal, fetching the mail, working on a project, listening to a friend, or driving your child to school. Believe it or not, there's NOTHING ELSE you have to do in those moments -- and ruminating about that host of hard-shelled imperatives only robs you of the only thing you are, in fact, doing. It's simple. It's hard. It's a death blow to overwhelm.
2. Something-wicked-this-way-comes if you don't exceed your human capabilities on a daily basis.
Antidote: In most cases, this dread of consequences is a lie. No one is going to fall off the edge of the earth, contract an incurable case of hiccups or be permanently angry with you if you don't Get-It-All-Done-Today. Life is far more flexible than the mind wants you to believe. Dare to believe that most of the time, that feeling is something your mind -- not reality -- is creating. And as you expose the source, you'll find that dread stops trailing you like the hobgoblin it is.
3. You could be doing even more with ease -- pity you don't know the secret.
Antidote: Don't buy it! This one will send you scrambling for the perfect program to quell your overwhelm. It will come in a shiny package with a system that has "helped millions." Now you must redesign your life in order to feel unOverwhelmed! I'm not saying there isn't value in such systems, but unless they are an adjunct to exposing the heart of Overwhelm's folly, you'll only have a new way to manage the beast. The truth is: there is no secret out there. It's in the turn of your mind.
