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| Just Say "No" to Resolutions
Traditions die hard, but the New Year resolution is one long overdue for a peaceful demise. The best thing about that resolution-setting ritual is that it makes you feel Very Good while you're doing it! But for many of us, that's where the efficacy ends.
Last December, riding a bus with little to do except eavesdrop, I overheard a woman ardently proclaim her fervor for getting fit in the new year. "I'm not going to implement anything until after the holidays," she told her friend, "but then I'm going to sit down (this means business), and write out an eating and exercising protocol that I'm going to follow to the letter!"
The smart money was on the Fritos.
No matter how earnest we are about changing old habits via the royal resolution, there's something deeper at work. I could just picture this woman's internal counterpart reclining on a chaise lounge, Martini in hand, a sly smile on her cherry lips. Amused, but poised to toss the co-signing pen into the pool.
Implicit in the idea of resolution is that we are somehow going to summon the will to do what we've never been able to do before, but this time, by Jove, it will work! And for some folks, in fact, it does. But for the rest of us, I propose alternatives to the will-based tyranny of the old res-beginning with the observation that the word "resolution" can be restated as "re-solution." |
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Re-solution Tips for the New Year
1. Relationship. Re-solutions voted most likely to succeed are the ones that begin with not with strategy, but with gentility. If we make our old habit "the enemy," we declare internal war. Then it's Ms. Martini vs. Little Ole You and pretty soon she's morphed into Bloody Mary. But if we seek a new relationship with our old habit, war isn't necessary. Instead of Obliteration, the idea is Modification. Instead of organizing the whole house in a weekend, you make your bedroom closet feel a whole lot better and a pleasure to open. Then ask, "What's next?"
2. Revelation. Reformation-by-will makes the assumption that our conscious mind already knows the path of change. But what if we seek revelation instead? Ask to be shown? Are open instead of certain? A young man once told me that he stopped smoking as soon as he realized that it was a response to feeling lonely. He decided instead to sit with his loneliness and see what it really wanted from him. Revelation isn't always that simple. It may have layers and take months instead of minutes, but its results can be astonishing.
2. Revolution. Sometimes we need to be bold. Do the outlandish, the illogical, the intuitive. Have an urge to throw all of your clothes on the floor one Saturday morning? Sweep the pantry clean of everything not digestible by humans? Hit Craig's List Personals in search of someone named Craig and email him? Such sweeping gestures jump-start a new relationship to the old issue and pop the question, "Now What?" Revolution is a way to jolt your habit out of its rut, but it's got to come from the gut.
3. Resignation. Not to be confused with defeat, this kind of resignation can be a magic doorway. You've tried it all and recognizable progress has not been made. You haven't even a bad clue of what to do next. This is the humble, pin-drop moment of surrender. Not giving in, but giving over--making yourself available to a Higher Source--call it God, Goddess, Spirit, Universe or Inner Self. And the best news is, once you've surrendered, it's no longer your move. Wait. Listen. Rest. A door will either blow or crack open ... and you will know to follow.
Until Next Week,
Maridel |
Free Consultation for Spiritual or Astrological Counseling
Whether it's an old habit or a new challenge, there are times when all of us can use the presence of another person to help us find our way. I recently spent a valuable hour on the phone with my mentor, and came away with a much-needed insight that helped me turn a significant corner. In turn, I invite you to consider my services as a spiritual or astrological counselor this year. They can also be used in combination. All sessions are done on the phone; and by request, can be taped for repeated listening. For a free consultation about my services and how they might meet your needs, please call
(916) 749-4228. (For a description of astrological counseling from my website, click here).
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