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Make No Mistake About It!
My neighbor was kind enough to give me a ride to the post office yesterday and on the way, we fell into talking about our shared challenge: selling our mobile homes in a not-so-mobile market. Waiting in line, she said something about making a bad mistake. "Oh, you feel that way about your house?" I asked. "No," she replied. "You! Buying that house was a bad mistake. Mine I've had for awhile. I'll come out okay." I started to counter her conclusion with my own unmistakable outlook, but the clerk sang out "Next!"
I was stunned, but fortunately not stung. The exchange made me realize how long ago and how far back on the trail I'd buried that old concept of mistakes. Of course, I remember the rhetoric, growing up as I did in a strict religious environment where mistakes of every breed were far easier to come by than the alternative.
But in the late 70's, as I set out to find my own spiritual path, it was my good fortune to come across John Powell's book, "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?" Here's a quote I've never forgotten though the book is long gone:
"The only real mistake is one from which you learn nothing." |
1. Judgment deters learning. We all make mistakes, of course. Using "lay" instead of "lie;" cutting our own hair; or absentmindedly pouring orange juice into a cup of chamomile instead of the intended creamer. But when applied to conscious choices, this label becomes little more than judgment by another name. And judgment is always a show-stopper--an exercise from which we do, in fact, learn nothing.
2. Don't label too soon! Branding a choice as "a mistake" without knowing its outcome, cuts off the blood supply to the process. Just because a choice is parading around and batting its eyes as "Ms. Mistake" doesn't mean it is one. Maybe that mobile home, troubled relationship, or unfortunate wardrobe choice holds the key to something worth learning. Like trust, perseverance, or taking people with you when you shop. And it may just be that that regardless of the song and dance it's selling you today, it might not turn out to be a mistake after all.
3. Mistakes are often messengers. Sometimes the outcome of a choice seems to prove that it was "a mistake." It can take time to let the alchemical process of life turn a seeming gaffe into useful information or a priceless insight. But the more open we are to the message of our untoward ways, the less likely mistakes will feel compelled to reinvent themselves. (If you've ever been a friend or relative of someone who married "the same person" three times, you know what I mean.)
4. Even mistakes made unconsciously can carry wisdom. I once heard the story of a lawyer who missed a do-or-die filing deadline for a high-profile client, a mistake that cost him his job at the firm. He was humiliated, but it also relieved him of a job he hated and knew wasn't right for him. Sometimes the starving soul gets desperate and doesn't mind overruling our conscious choices and their messy attendant consequences. Better yet, listen the first thousand times. |
Mistake-Free Dancin'
My friend, Johnnie Ray, is a dance teacher extraordinaire. He tells his students on the first lesson, "Mistakes are the seeds of your creativity." He calls it his no-mistake policy and it's one reason why his students not only learn to dance, but have fun doing it. And to prove his point, he sometimes turns their "goofs" into new moves-and names the moves after them! If you'd like to learn to dance in a mistake-free zone or need a great DJ for the holidays, visit Johnnie's website or contact him to form or join a Freestyle Swing class!
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Bloomin' Good News!
I am proud to announce that "Second Bloom, Ten Steps to Reinvent, Rejuvenate, and Realize a New Life," is officially for sale! I have a special interest in this book as my marketer, Michelle-Gamble Risley is one of the co-authors along with Anne Marie Smith. But I've also had a pre-read and I can tell you that it is fabulous! For more information and to read my review, check it out at www.second-bloom.com. You can purchase online or directly from me if you live in the Sacramento area.
FREE Consultation
I am an author, editor and ghost writer. I would love to contribute to your book, website copy, marketing materials, reports, articles or any other writing you'd like help with. Let's sit down, enjoy a cup of coffee, and share ideas. Please feel free to email me: maridelbowes@gmail.com.
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