Following are some tips for caregivers on ways to deal with older adults experiencing memory loss:

 

~ Each issue must be dealt with one at a time in a slow, calming fashion. Confrontation is not necessarily the answer, but a gentle approach of redirecting behavior and establishing patterns where your parent or older relative is made to feel, that despite any losses, he or she is still in control.

~ For those who are in the early stages of memory loss it helps to keep calendars, clocks and reminders posted around the house. A simple routine can be very helpful. It is important at this stage, as in all stages of memory loss to allow the older person to make as many decisions as possible. Let them choose what they will eat, what they will wear. You can narrow the choices down, but make certain there are choices.

 

~ Simplify the world around them. Too much noise can be distracting as well as annoying. Too much clutter makes locating things more difficult.

 

~ Diversion is a useful tactic when someone is resistant to help. When a parent is about to repeat a task that has already been done or to repeat a story for the sixth time, gently change the subject to something of interest. Put on his or her favorite music, bring out old photographs, bring up a topic that you know brings back happy memories.

 

~ Correcting someone whose memory is impaired can be humiliating and make the person feel demeaned. In addition it won't change the facts that they can't remember. In all aspects of life, you need to choose what issues are truly important and which you must ignore. Does it really matter if your parent's clothes don't match or the bed is no longer made correctly? Only life threatening situations or ones that may prove harmful need to be actively addressed.

Emily Carton MA, LISW, is a licensed social worker who works with Elder Options, a private care social service firm in the DC Metropolitan Area.