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How to deal with a challenging boss
October 20, 2010

Dealing with a difficult boss
Do you know someone who struggles with their boss?  In this newsletter three speakers share valuable ideas to help you (or someone you know) cope with the challenges of a difficult boss. 

Business coach Michael Staver teaches us how to 'deal with it' while author and researcher Curt Coffman shares his own great survival tips.  And retired astronaut Rick Searfoss shares a powerful story from his past that taught him a lesson about when to go over a boss' head and "up the chain".

All of these great speakers can add so much to your next event.  For a complete list of our speakers, please visit us at the Sweeney Agency online.  Thanks.
Michael Staver Deal With ItMichael Staver


Dealing with a difficult boss can be one of the most stressful things that can happen at work. On the one hand you don't want to risk losing your job so you hesitate to confront them. On the other hand you can barely tolerate the environment they create. Difficult is in the eye of the beholder. What is difficult for one person is not difficult for the other so it is important that a person clearly examine what the specific behaviors are that are difficult. To make a general statement of a boss's difficulty is not useful all by itself. General statements and emotional reactions only make the situation worse.

 

Here are a few steps to help

 

1.  Identify the specific behaviors that you believe are difficult.

 Michael Staver Book

2.  Ask yourself if those behaviors are really difficult or are they just annoying ha bits.

 

3.  If they are difficult (i.e., yelling, demeaning, mixed messages, non communicative, etc.) then evaluate the extent to which you are willing to confront the behaviors.

 

4.  If you are unwilling to confront the behaviors, you must either tolerate it and stop complaining or create an exit strategy.

 

5.  If you are willing to confront the behaviors, then talking with your boss alone about what he or she does is your next step.  If that is met with more difficult behavior, then the environment may be too toxic to remain.


See Michael Staver's full bio and video here...
Curt CoffmanCurt Coffman Follow this Path

Let's be clear, they didn't set out to be bad managers, they had the best of intentions, but just fell into a few traps: 
           

  1. They were great individual performers who felt compelled to climb the "career ladder."  Being a boss wasn't the destination; it was just the next step.
  2. Competitive, competitive, competitive; no matter how hard they try they can't turn off the drive to win, and they actually set up scenarios where they try to beat or outdo the very people they need the most.
  3. They don't want to depend on others to achieve their goals and are not natural collaborators or coaches.

If you have a "less than great" boss, here are a few tips that might help:


·         Never complain or gossip to anyone about them - merely talking about it amplifFollow This Pathies your anger, intensity and frustrations and makes YOU more miserable.
·         Build a relationship around who they are versus who you are.

·         Know their fears; when we understand peoples fears, we can understand their needs
·         Antic
ipate the demands and pressures they have and look for ways to help with them; set them up for success
·         Never take problems to them unless absolutely necessary.  Seek alternatives and people close to the situation to resolve it. 

 

Challenge yourself to make this work and you can manage anyone and anything!

 
More great ideas from Curt Coffman...
Rick Searfoss When to Go Over the Boss' HeadRick Searfoss
 

Of all the touchy elements of dealing with a difficult boss, perhaps the most challenging is deciding when and then acting to go over the boss' head "up the chain."  Tough choice, but one that can be eased with these guidelines:

 

1.  Make certain the boss is exhibiting a clear violation of legal or ethical standards or organization policies and processes. 


2.  Keep your own performance always above reproach and then do your best to take your emotions out of the picture when deciding how to present the issues up the chain.


3.  Once committed, recognizing that the greater good and standing of all is at stake and inaction could lead to greater harm, act with courage and conviction.

 

Early in my career I encountered a situation where, in retrospect, I should have spoken up about my own immediate supervisor's disregard for norms, procedures, and safety.  As a young fighter pilot I worked hard to understand a very complex aircraft, fly it up to but not beyond its limits and my own, and strike the right balance between aggressive mission accomplishment and avoiding tragedy.  For a time though I had a supervisor who almost wantonly disregarded critical aircraft checks and operating limitations, all the while blustering on for public consumption about what a great fighter pilot he was, making him nearly impossible to work for. We young guys not only disliked flying on his wing, but began to see him as an accident just waiting to happen.  Yet in the military environment of our squadron with him as our ranking officer and flight commander, no one quite got to the point of going over his head in the chain of command.


One day we had a jet overdue from a mission, no contact, and after a tense few hours we learned that this particular boss had crashed his aircraft into the North Sea, taking a young crewmate navigator with him.  Had one of us more junior pilots tactfully yet convincingly highlighted the situation to his superiors, backed up by facts and firm understanding of the unit norms and standards, it might have prevented the loss of two people and a multimillion-dollar combat aircraft. 

 

That tragic experience taught me a valuable lesson about speaking up and insisting on accountability, even from a superior.  We all need to have the courage and wisdom to evaluate similar, if perhaps not so dramatic, situations, make the tough call, and have our facts and understanding together enough to "push it up the chain" when called for in order to make a positive difference for our organization.

 
See Rick Searfoss' bio and video on our site...
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