Cathleen Campbell

August 2009
If I Could Just Get Myself to Do What I Should...


Dear Friends,

You know these #%$^# scissor-kick exercises aren't new.  I remember hating them in high school.  They were not just challenging but nearly impossible.  And yet if I'd mastered them back then, perhaps now I wouldn't have had to struggle so hard to keep my waistline out of the gigantic range it seemed bent on achieving.  Of course the struggle kept me in that constant loop of wishing my waistline would reduce , cutting out the things I loved to eat, sporadic attempts at exercise and the ensuing lamentations as my waist kept creeping up anyway.  And with a neck injury I had plenty of excuses, didn't I?  Now I really couldn't do what I "should" have done... 
And thus continues the destructive dance we engage in called Resistance.  We're all so drawn to resistance.  It's enticing, the feeling of fighting the good fight.  The lottery-like hope that we'll win this time.  Even while we know that what we resist, persists...we can't seem to stop ourselves.
Life goes on while we're resisting.  In fact, many of us are incredibly productive.  We create whole lives struggling and fighting.  We even use some positive energy to build.  We become educated, find work, some find good careers, and even build families of our own.  On the outside, many of us look like we've got terrific lives, and we might feel that way if we didn't also feel the pressure of all our "shoulds" both old and new.  Our "shoulds" turn into regret, and regret into the now solid reality.

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."  John Barrymore.

Some of my clients recently polled gave me their biggest shoulds:   

Saving 10% of my income would have been a breeze for me back in college.  Heck, I probably could have saved 50%, but I didn't.  I didn't save much at all, and I never learned how.  But when I think back over 20 years of some incredibly hard work, boy do I wish I had those little percentages now.  It seems so simple from here, but back then I just had to have this or that.  Sometimes they were legitimate excuses, but more often than not, now as I think back, my not saving was more another example of my inability to do what I should have done. Now I'm broke, nearing retirement and scared.  This wasn't living, it's working to die.  What really struck me as odd when I cleared away all those shoulds I could never fix was an unbelievable sense that I could still do what I needed to do.  After all, I realized, my house may not be a dream home, but it's paid off.  I could start saving now and really make a big dent.  When it comes time to retire, maybe I'll sell this place and get a nice place somewhere warm.  Like energy really does attract like, and the more I save it really is true that the more I save.  My retirement is starting to look really good to me now, and so are my savings.  John S., Sarasota, FL
My husband is a good man.  I should have been able to see that all along.  He's not always communicative, and he didn't do things the way I wanted but he was always there. Somehow that didn't matter. Over time I actually started criticizing him right out loud, and pretty soon I was so involved in my self-righteous crusade to fix him I even stopped telling him that I loved him.  I did, but I was too busy trying to make him be how I wanted.  When he told me he was leaving, the first thing I said was "...but I love you, don't you know that?" He asked me how could he possibly know that since all I ever did was criticize him.  I was horrified, of course, and he was shocked.  He truly thought that I was wishing he was gone.  I should have said 'I love you' and I should have complimented him as much as possible.  Thankfully now I'm getting a second chance to learn how and to actually be how I want to be in our marriage.  Funny thing is, the more I'm loving and accepting, the more he's giving and open.  Elizabeth H., Woodbridge, NJ
My new job isn't all it was cracked up to be.  The hours are longer, the pressure is greater and I don't have the kind of friends I had at my old place.  What should I have done that I didn't?  I should have spent more time being grateful for what I had instead of feeling so sorry for myself all the time.  And I should have taken the time to figure out what it was that I really wanted if I was so disappointed with what I had.  Instead, I just sat there stonewalling and drifting through fantasies of winning the lottery.  Maybe if I'd have done that I wouldn't have had to take the first job that came my way because I'd been fired from a job I now know wasn't really all that bad.  What I realized as I cleared away all these shoulds is that I was looking for all my fulfillment from my job and since I never liked it, it was a loosing battle.  What I'm working on now is enjoying the things I do have that I like, like my family, and figuring out what kind of work I think would make me feel productive.  And guess what?  There are a lot of opportunities out there I never would have considered before.  Tom J., New York, NY

So why don't we do the things we "should" do?

There are many theories, lots of advice and even more excuses.  But we all know how these things pan out.  The other day I was speaking to a personal trainer who said that they just "go military on their..." when their clients don't do what they are "supposed to."  That trainer, like so many others, has a few long-term clients, but their average client sticks with them for about 3 months.  Some may come back one or two more times, but just like the rest of the overweight population the majority of them just leave and return to their former state of unhealthiness or worse. 
Vibrationally speaking, "should" keeps us in alignment with what we don't want to be true, what isn't ours yet, what we don't have and haven't done.  It holds us fast to the vibration of shame, disappointment, bitterness and regret.  It's impossible to live in harmony when a portion of our thoughts and feelings are out of alignment with what we wish to do, be or have. 

But there's a different answer, a different way, and it's nothing short of astounding.  The answer is "stuck energy" and the astounding part comes in how easily it can be released so that what was nearly impossible before, now comes a mere fact of everyday life.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say,

and what you do are in harmony."  Mahatma Gandhi 

My clients and readers all know that I came to this work because of a neck injury.  Over the years I was at first grateful to finally become pain-free, a feat the doctors said was impossible.  But I didn't stop there.  I also had to loose what I called the "ton-age" added on by the medicine and inability to move.  I'd gained over 35 lbs. in less than 4 months.  It was tough work, seeing as how I couldn't really move well, but I got back down to "in range" and felt pretty good for the next set of years.  Then one day I realized that I was still settling!  "Just" being pain-free and "not huge" wasn't enough.  I wanted to be fit, really fit.
The most important thing I've done is to work on clearing out all the stuck energy that held me in a state of anything less than full wellbeing.  And a funny thing has happened:  the less stuck energy I have, the more productive my treatments and exercise was...and the better I feel!  As I cleared the energy of the "shoulds" I could never get myself to do an interesting new thought organically rose up, "why not?"  And the resulting behaviors have been nothing short of a miracle, to me at least.
The last three months have been the most wonderful adventure ever.  Working my own personal

90 Days to Living Harmony Program (yes, I actually do what I have my clients do!) was to create not just thinness, but actual fitness.  Clearing away stuck energy on things such as "I can't do neck might go out," and "they're too hard!" or "But those last 10 lbs are almost impossible to loose!" has been easy and even fun. 
The results?
Some are pretty astounding to me.  Like the fact that this very girly-girl actually now owns her own chin-up bar and I use it!  Within 2 weeks I'd already gotten to a 90 degree angle for 10 pulls, a feat I now understand is not the norm (ah...but those big athletes haven't been tapping as they worked out, have they!)  My arms are becoming not just thin, but actually toned.  And don't ask me where the 13" I've lost have gone, because I didn't think I had that much to loose!  My clothes are fitting better, I've got more energy and it is all just a lovely, easy and fun part of my day.  In fact, my workouts have become so much fun that I actually get disappointed when I can't do anything physical.  Oh, I'm still working on those scissor-kicks...but I'm up to doing a few of them a day and not cursing the inventor as being a merciless torturer.  Instead, as I feel the strength in all my muscles building, I'm actually enjoying the sensations of engaging them and really feeling them move. 
So in a matter of a few weeks, what used to be an iron-clad, immobilizing SHOULD bringing any fitness endeavor to a frustrating standstill has dissolved and in it's place is a sturdy, organic KNOWING that I can because I AM, and a deeply satisfying everyday experience that I just DO.
What "should" you have done?  What "should" you be doing?  These thoughts and feelings, and the resulting patterns of action or inaction, are the very things that are keeping you from succeeding.
The question goes, "if you knew you could do anything and not fail, what would you do?" To which, of course, we all smile a little sadly and think of the days when we could have been an Olympic ice skater, a mogul millionaire, or a famous singer.  But life isn't over...until it's over.  Can you say Colonel Saunders?  or Susan Boyle?  And better yet, it doesn't have to be stalled and stuck because of "shoulds."  We can learn to release the stuck energy of our regrets and live the dreams we once held dear, not knowing yet it was daring to dream them.  Perhaps they will turn out slightly differently, or even better, we can also be open to new dreams we never knew we could have. 

Remember, we can either attempt to change our life using FORCE -
the process we almost always use to create our resolutions.  Or, we can learn to
use our POWER to create organically, seemingly magically,
so much more enjoyably and productively.

Are you ready to stop "shoulding" all over yourself?   It's easy!  There's a Living Harmony program just for you, and if not we'll design one that's just right.  To get started, call or email me with your list of "shoulds" and we'll clear them together. 
Learn to give up the tyranny of "shoulds" and the regrets that ensue.  In the process, you can learn to manifest what abundance, love, prosperity and pleasure you desire...

In Living Harmony,
Cathleen Campbell

PS:  Read this month's Living Lessons to learn how one of today's generally accepted business "shoulds" could put you in your own poverty prison.

PPS:  Once you learn still need to know HOW to manage and release this destructive pattern so you won't suffer from it too.  Visit to find out just how easy it is to Living Harmony.



My friend Susan recently told me that her colleagues make a point of sending her instant St Patrick Bannermessages all day long.  Ahhh...a message sent instantly, such connection, such satisfaction.  How powerful is that!  So do you know what this relentless barrage of messages keep repeating over and over and over again?  

  •  I'm never gonna make a sale!
  •  This job sucks!
  •  You didn't make any sales today either, did you?

The list goes on.
Several times a day my dear, sweet, wonderful friend who has always been a powerhouse selling machine gets these messages that slam into her consciousness over and over again draining her energy and enthusiasm.  Though she knows it's destructive, she feels she "should" be reading all that's sent to her.  She needs to be in the know, and available, right?  Just awful, right?
But you know what's REALLY awful?  I hear this all the time!  
When my friend started telling me about her horrible little secret, how she's afraid to not read the messages in case there's something important there...she was so confused and feeling so alone.  She thought she was the only one! 
When I started shaking my head she said, "Oh I know Cathleen...this isn't the Living Harmony way...but what am I supposed to do?" 
I told her that I wasn't shaking my head because of the obvious and clearly negative-producing effects, I was shaking my head because I was annoyed at hearing the same story repeatedly. 
My friend was shocked to learn that she wasn't the only one experiencing this kind of abuse.  Oh she knew that other people were having a rough time and talking about it endlessly, but until we spoke, she had felt that her coworkers were confiding in her and that they'd just hit a nerve.  She didn't realize that the repeated negative messages, the constant barrage of failure concepts and impending doom, appearing to her in this particular context was indeed abusive and incredibly destructive.  She didn't understand how much impact they had. 

The challenge with repeated IM or email messages about how awful the economy is, how sales are impossible and how we're all going to loose our jobs or worse is that due to their visual delivery,
these messages get quickly embedded into our brains and hearts, and influence our own vibrational frequency!

We all have different learning styles.  Some learn best by hearing while others learn best by doing.  That still does remain true.  But over the last few decades we have actually trained ourselves to become more and more visually attuned. 
We watch movies, TV and now the web.  If you looked at a newspaper from 100 years ago vs. today's versions, the reason there are far more photos is not just that photographic technology has improved.  The reason is that we've become visually aware and are suffering from information overload. 
Show a message to anyone in a visual context and they will get it far faster and more deeply than any other method. 
But emails and IM's are text, so that's not a problem, right?  Wrong.  Yes, it's true that they CONTAIN text, but the delivery system is a visual one!
The truth is that we are the only ones who are responsible for our experiences.  We're responsible for what we choose to think, feel, how we act and react.  And too often, especially in this visual society, we tend to accept by default far too much negative information into our already overwhelmed systems.  And we can control it far more than we realize. 
As she began to realize how her "shoulds" were keeping her a victim, Susan began to shift out of this destructive pattern. 
First, she sent out a very clear, very professional memo asking for her colleagues' support while she worked on a major project (of course she didn't tell them the project was her career, and she'd be working on it for the rest of her working life!) - unless it was a true emergency, she asked that they email rather than IM her.  Immediately she got emails offering support and acknowledging this new plan.  Almost instantly she could feel the pressure lifting.
 Second, she spent a bit of time clearing thru the messages she'd received using EFT and some visualization techniques.  Within a few weeks, her own sales began to rise again.  But better yet, her state returned to one of enjoyment.  She increased her sales, and began to feel like her old self again. 
Noticing the shift, her boss complimented her and told her he wished all the staff had her vibrant and enthusiastic energy.  A compliment she couldn't but help connect to the work she'd done clearing and aligning her energy to the vibration of prosperity and success. 
Nothing that detracts from your ability to use your own personal power effectively is innocent.  It's up to you to manage what your brain takes and mulls over in so you can determine what experiences you live.  Learn how with a few Living Harmony sessions, and soon your energy will be gaining profitable praise too!

Learn to manifest your own success.  Visit Living Harmony to learn how.

Living Harmony

Have a friend or family member who's energy could use an adjustment?  Forward this email, or send them a link to the Living Harmony web site. 

Currently accepting in-person sessions at the Hoboken office only:  51 Newark Street, #403
Hoboken, NJ 07030.

Phone:  646-245-2345

I look forward to your questions & comments.

 Click on the logo to visit the official Emotional Freedom Technique, and view a sampling of my actual client stories.  
90 Days to Living Harmony

What can you achieve in 90 days?  Left to our habitual energetic patterns, we can expect to be pretty much in the same place as we are now.  But clear and manage even just a tiny bit of your over-extended energies and watch as changes you thought impossible seem to manifest like magic.

A unique combination of clearing, installing, guided imagery, supported self-work and consistent "energy-isometrics" supports the effective application of Universal Laws, including the popular Law of Attraction, magnetizing abundant success, prosperity and wellbeing. 

Remember:  persistence pays off!  Even just a few minutes a day, with dedication you can produce amazing results.  Book your 90 Days to Living Harmony program to start creating today what you wish to 90 days and beyond. 
What Good Taste...
Wellbeing in general is good taste, but cooking with the Young Living Essential Oils is incredibly good taste on so many different levels.  I liken the experience to music:

A dried herb is like listening to a wonderful guitar.  Add fresh herbs to your dishes and you get a fuller experience, like a quartet.  But add just a few drops of these amazing oils and enjoy the pleasure only the full philharmonic can produce!  The depth and richness these oils add make even old standby recipes taste new.  Talk about abundance:  just one drop can do the trick.  And of course, the health benefits are an added treat (special note: remember to add your oils at the end of the cooking process to retain as much of the healthy benefits as possible.)

Here are just a few of the wonderful essential oils and blends I use in my recipes.  Click on the images below to read more about them, other supportive products and to order yours today.  

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