Cathleen Campbell

June 2009
Approve Your Way to Abundance

Dear Friends,

It never fails.  No matter what the challenge they are working on with me, the moment I ask a talented, good-looking, accomplished and seemingly successful client if they approve of themselves they shake their head and squint their eyes in confusion.  Of course! they approve of themselves, they opine, don't the hours in the gym and office prove that?  Ask a client who is working on their physical appearance, health or a lack of loving relationships in their life, and the reaction can be even more emotionally intense.  
No matter who we are, the frustration of all the conscious and physical effort we put in and the lack of desired results we get when we disapprove becomes either overwhelming or defeating. 
The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
                                                                                                Gloria Steinem
Finding out that we've been sabotaging even our greatest efforts can be confusing, upsetting and even maddening.  But the truth is that the simple act of disapproving is one of the single most destructive and wasteful things we can do. 
Just as the concept of forgiveness is often misunderstood, the process of approving is confusing as well.  Forgiveness is not a blank slate, or a condoning of the offense.  It may seem like semantics, but learning what it really is and how to apply it can literally change our life.  In the same way, approving is not an encouragement to experience more negativity, it's not rationalizing.  Learning how to approve of yourself and others will help you grease the wheels of your own creations.
Especially here in the West, we have a long tradition of righting wrongs, striving to correct imbalances and fixing things that are broken.  A long time ago we came to believe that thinking negatively about something will somehow change it into the positive.  We developed and nurtured a strong belief system that the more something inspires us to feel badly, the more force we'll be able to muster against it which will help us overcome it.  It's a powerful draw, the desire to change that which offends us. 
The challenge is of course that while we have so many examples of how we fought the good fight and won, from an energetic standpoint we know that that these concepts are actually a misuse of our power and the power of the universe!  While we have achieved some astounding successes in the face of overwhelming negativity by using our force, we are in fact making it more difficult and creating more problems for ourselves than is necessary.
When we disapprove of something or someone,
we aren't rejecting them or the vibration of negativity at all.  Rather, we are actually grabbing hold of the very thing we don't want. 
What we resist...persists!

We are in effect saying to the universe "see this, this thing I don't like?  Could you please keep this going because I've accepted it into my reality..." and the result is that the person, thing or event we are disapproving of simply MUST continue in order to maintain receiving our disapproval!  
The way we have used force to overcome negativity in our history is not proof that positive vibrations resulting from positive thoughts, feelings and actions doesn't work.  It's proof that the weight of vibrational frequency in those instances merely shifted slowly.  At first the majority of the vibrational frequency was resonating with negativity, disharmony.  As we became aware and dwelt on the negative, it grew, sustained and festered.  Once the decision was made to change the negative, the shift began...but slowly. 
The main attention was on the what is "now," with a mere wish for what could be.  As the intensity of attention shifted from what is to what could be, so did the vibrational frequency and thus the resulting reality.  Finally, when the balance of energy shifted enough from negative to the other end of the spectrum, eventually the weight of attention had gained enough momentum and the resulting reality appeared to have changed rather quickly.  In reality, it was shifting all along from the very first moment attention was given to what could be. 
Of course it's entirely impossible to give approval to those people, situations and things that are giving us pain.  It seems that it would add to the wrongs if we gave our approval to someone who continually abused us.  But we're not talking about leaning in for another slap when we speak of turning the other cheek.  Perhaps the wording could have been better crafted, but the meaning if you look for it and understand energy is clear and true.  By removing the hurt part, and returning to the scene in a strong and clear way, we release the energy that we were disapproving of in the first place. 
So if righting wrongs and fixing the broken things is such bad manifesting, why have we developed this pattern?  Because it feels pretty darn good in the end, and we love a good high.  Living in a state of self-disapproval, it feels good to shift the focus of blame for just a bit.  Between enjoying the reprieve from the disapproval spotlight, and the desire to feel the adrenaline burn, we're almost more comfortable with negative energy than turning to the positive. 
Yet just because something is an accepted pattern does not make it valid or true.
Manifesting is much like the process of flying a plane.  While the pretty travel brochures show a simple line connecting the departure and arrival points, the reality of flight is anything but a straight line.  The job of the pilot is to course correct, repeatedly until safely reaching the desired destination.  It would be ludicrous for a pilot to say, "oh darn...we're a few degrees off course...I guess we have to stop and go back to our starting point now..."  If they did, we'd never get anywhere!
The same is true with us.  But as we move through our days, our projects, our relationships, endeavoring to create our dreams drawing us from where we begin to our desired destination we tend more to abandon the course rather than correct it. 
Approval is noticing where you are, realistically, and still supporting yourself and others.  It's learning to compliment those things we did do well, while clearly being reasonable about making the changes we still need in order to successfully complete the journey or create our dream.
Of course as with all self-growth knowledge, understanding the concepts consciously is far different from actually being able to apply them in our own lives.  The stuck energy of our painful traumas, negative beliefs and misconceptions have to be cleared first in order for us to be open to learning how to implement the concept of giving approval to ourselves and others.  Once we do, however, life suddenly seems to slide easily into place as our vibration moves from one of force to attraction, one of tightness to openness.  And being open is the only way we can actually receive.
Learning how to approve of yourself and others may seem a daunting challenge, given how amazingly annoying, absurd, hurtful and difficult both we and they can be.  But as you clear yourself of your own disapproval, you may find the disapproval you held for others organically shifting away too.  And in the process, so you'll increase the momentum of your positive manifestations - everything from a better bathing-suit body to higher sales, more loving relationships and access to your creative genius - all increasingly magnetized to you...

In Living Harmony,

Cathleen Campbell

PS:  Learn how you may be disapproving your way out of a happy relationship in this issue's Living Lessons. 

PPS - By popular demand, the Living Harmony tele-class series is about to be announced!  Watch your email for the announcement and calendar of Learning Living Harmony events throughout this summer. 
LIVING LESSON: Dating Harmony
Looking and Seeing...for Real, Before You Leap

There's a seemingly never-ending supply of books about dating and relationships presenting the reader with what the author claims to be the exact way to land a man or to get that girl.  Some of them present valid points and sound advice, but there are some very popular ones claiming that the object of our affections either isn't aware of their true feelings, or they have some problem that keeps them from what they truly want.  And it'll be up to you, the reader, to figure out how to manipulate them into a lasting, loving relationship...for their "own good." 

Particularly worrisome are the tomes citing that men in their mid-thirties and beyond have been single for so long, there "must be a reason."  My female clients who are 30-plus, frequently mention this "fact" at least once when we are working on their relationship issues.  After all "... if a man who is successful and has built up some kind of financial stability and isn't married, over thirty and good looking... he's either selfish or unable to truly connect in love ... right?"  or "...but if he's still not financially secure by the time he's in his mid-thirties, he's not ever going to be ready to have a mature relationship..."  Whatever their reasons, we're told to disapprove of people who don't follow the rules.  And just to make sure, we're supposed to disapprove of their reasons too.

Well, I, for one, don't agree with these theories.  And since many of the people who positioned themselves as experts of these rules are now living with the damage disapproving cost them in their own relationships, that should be reason enough.  But it's not that I don't agree on principle, it's that I've got too many wonderful male friends who are over 30, growing their careers and taking their time finding love on purpose.  They're not selfish...they're just being considerate and careful, because their decisions affect not just them, and not just the woman they're dating but their families and friends too.  And the same goes for my single women friends who aren't willing to settle for just anyone so they can confirm to what they've been told is success.

Personally and professionally, I think men...and women...get a really bad rap in dating.  And worse, they are doing it to themselves with all their disapproval!  

While experts can propose a plan of action, as in all manifesting no one can guarantee you'll have the same results as the many happy success stories provided as evidence.  It is therefore essential that we learn how to clear ourselves of these disapproving thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experiences so that whether we've just found the one or we're still in the middle of our search, we can enjoy a positive experience throughout dating, or any experience for that matter.  

So what happens when you release the stuck energy of disapproval and begin to see for real in dating?  Read Rachel's Story to see how one woman learned to clear the stuck energy of her past and current dating experiences, and how in clearing this personal subject gave her career a lift too!  See if you can identify how Rachel was disapproving of herself and the men in her life as you read through the EFT scripts included in the story - and don't forget to tap along!  As featured on the internationally acclaimed Emotional Freedom Techniques web site, this client story garnered a tremendous response from singles and married people alike as they realized just how much their disapproval affected their own relationships. 

You can start learning how to create your own Relationship Harmony by clearing your own relationship disapproval with a few Living Harmony sessions.  Get started now by visiting the Book Sessions page, or contact me at 646-245-2345 or via email at
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Give Yourself a Drop of Approval
Using the power of nature's fragrant molecules to release the negative pattern of disapproval, the attractive state of approval can arise organically.  For love and matters big and small...aromatherapy can be used on its own, but when combined with other healing modalities such as EFT, these powerful essential oils increase the effectiveness creating supercharged clearing and release.    
Here are just a few of the amazing essential oil blends I work with to help my clients successfully clear stress so they can manifest more abundance in all areas of their lives.  Click on the images below to read more about them, other supportive products and to order yours today.  

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For more information, and a host of other aromatherapy, nutritional and personal care products all made with the highest quality essential oils, please visit   To order via phone, call 800-371-3515 and use Sponsor #790921, or click
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individual results.

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