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KIND WORDS
Not A Wrong Number
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of Partners in Kindness
I answered the phone the other day, and as we began to speak, it seemed that the caller had misdialed.
I realized by her caller ID that she lived in the same city of I do in Israel, and had a feeling that she was perhaps lonely or needed a friend.
I told her, "Who said you misdialed? Maybe we were meant to speak!"
We talked for a few minutes, and then she mentioned that she was anxious to get some Anacin (aspirin) from the USA.
"I can help!" I reassured her. I have a friend coming in soon; "I'll call her and ask her to bring it."
There was no wrong number.
Listen
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Listening to someone is a great act of kindness. It is an act of respect. It might appear to be passive, but being a good listener is a skill that takes effort. Being a great listener is an art, an art that you can learn for the betterment of all those who will appreciate your listening to them with your entire being.
When we listen to someone, it is common for us to interrupt before that person is finished. We are often busy, or distracted, or bored. The skill of listening consists of focusing your total attention on the person you are listening to.
Think of a specific time when you were totally fascinated by what someone was telling you. Remember how you leaned forward, how your total attention was on the speaker. You probably had eye contact or focused on the person's mouth as the words flowed forth.
Observe people who are great listeners. Look at their face. Pay attention to their posture. Listen to the comments they make. Model them and you will upgrade the quality of your own listening.
Remember a time someone was interested in listening to what you had to say. Remember how good it felt. Remember the specific details that indicated to you that you were being listened to.
Those whom others find interesting or fascinating have less of a need for your listening skills. You personally can gain a lot from them and it's highly worthwhile to be a good listener.
The people who will gain the most from your listening are those who are rarely listened to. These are people who suffer and have a strong need to share their feelings with others. They might have a tendency to repeat themselves. Since their talking helps lighten their burden, you are doing an act of kindness by listening. When you are doing someone an important service, your time is being well-spent.
When you listen, make brief comments that convey the message that you are paying attention and understand:
"I hear."
"I hear loud and clear."
"I see."
"I am getting the picture."
"That makes sense."
"That must have been very difficult."
"That sounds painful."
"I'm sorry."
"Wow!"
"That was really something."
"Remarkable."
"Yes, please tell me more."
Think of three people who would especially appreciate your listening to them. Go out of your way to find opportunities to build up your listening skills as you build up your compassion.
Consider this story, from one of my students:
I used to feel that being listened to is highly over rated. I wasn't such an emotional person and felt that people waste too much time talking about how they feel. But then I went through several major crises at the same time. A member of my family had a serious illness. A close friend of mine had suddenly died. I lost my job and had a difficult time finding a new one. The financial pressures kept adding up. I like to handle things myself.
I was traveling on a plane to a job interview. The person I sat next to was intelligent and kind. I began telling him where I was going and why. He listened with his entire being and I felt that as I talked to him he was sharing my burden. I felt lighter as I spoke. At the end of the trip I thanked him profusely for helping me so much. After speaking to him I felt much better than I felt in a long time.
"All I did was listen," he said with a smile. I could see that he knew the power of being a good listener. Now I know it also for the first time.
More About Partners In Kindness
Speaking About Kindness
When Shmuel Greenbaum has the opportunity to speak, he rivets his audience's attention through stories and audience participation. Participants come away feeling very positive and excited about doing something great. His excitement for kindness is infectious, as this student from New York City's Stuyvesant High School explains:
I was expecting to attend the lecture given by Shmuel Greenbaum for one period. I ended up staying for four. It is so uplifting, so enlightening, so refreshing to hear someone like him talk, to simply bubble over with excitement at the thought of doing good in the world. He is in his way a role model to us all. You think to yourself, "If only everyone else could practice kindness in the way that Shmuel Greenbaum has, the world would truly be a better place."
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Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness.
Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.
If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).
Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy.
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what Partners in Kindness is trying to promote.
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