KIND WORDS
I Wish I Knew Who to Thank
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of Partners in Kindness
I sustained a traumatic brain injury during a riot. It has been two years and I still cannot cook or shop. Getting hot complete meals for my son and I has been a true challenge.
About a year ago, I began getting cooked meals every week. I do not know the person who is cooking the food or the person who delivers it to me, but every week on a different weekday each week, a cooked hot meal comes.
When I asked who was cooking the meals, the delivery person has always stated that the individual does not know me, but heard that I was hurt and wanted to help.
It is an amazing mitzvah that puts a smile on both my son's and my face. I wish that I could say thank you. I wish that I could tell the mystery person how much the sustained efforts of providing meals for us means to us.
Thank you for your kindness. It means so much.
"If I Were"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Questions that begin with, "If I were" can give us a new perspective on things. Here are some possibilities:
* "If I were this person, what would I want others to do for me?"
* "If I were given a life mission to help this person, what would I do?"
* "If I were this person's best friend, what would I do for him?"
* "If I were at the ultimate level of compassion and kindness, what would I say or do now?"
* "If I were going to be treated by others the way I treat this person, what would I say or do?"
We might not always be able to live up to the standards suggested by these questions. But they give us a different viewpoint through which to see the situation.
If we were this person, what would we be hoping that others would do for us. We view others in need from the outside. Imagining that we were this person enables us to see things from his point of view. If I felt the same need that he feels, what would I hope that others would do for me? If I were in the same predicament or had the same problem, what would I want others to do for me?
We might not consider someone else's needs as important to us. To us this person might be just one of many other individuals who have needs, wants, and problems. But if we were to view meeting his needs and solving his problems as our own life task and obligations what we could do for him increases in priority and importance.
A best friend will go beyond the call of duty to help his buddy. Some things will seem too difficult to do for an acquaintance or even a good friend. But if someone is our best friend, we will make sacrifices that we would not ordinarily be prepared to make.
There exist unlimited levels of kindness and compassion. We are all at different levels along a continuum. A person who has no connection with these attributes probably will not be reading this book. Only the rare human being is on the highest level. Regardless of our present level, when we are prepared to view a situation from the highest level, we will see beyond what we ordinarily would.
If we would be aware that we are deciding our own fate by the way we treat this person, we would go out of our way to do all we could. Of course, we can't maintain this level consistently with everyone we encounter who needs our help. But every once in a while, this will do wonders for our upgrading our level of kindness.
And one last, "If I were" question: "If I were going to view this as my final opportunity to do one last good deed in this world, what would I do?" As you contemplate this question, you will experience its amazing power. Because eventually we will be faced with our actual one last opportunity and we never know when it will be.
I heard this story from one of my students:
I used to say, "If I were" as a way of getting out of helping people. I would say things like, "If I were a rich man I would help people out, but I don't have a lot of money." "If I were a person with more time, I would do more for others. But I'm always too busy." "If I were brighter I could help others with my knowledge. But what do I really know?"
Then I found the power of a more helpful, "If I were" statement. "If I were this person what would I want me to do for him?" This opened my eyes to the plight of the people who needed my help. Then I found that I had more resources than I realized I had.
More About Partners In Kindness
Speaking About Kindness
When Shmuel Greenbaum has the opportunity to speak, he rivets his audience's attention through stories and audience participation. Participants come away feeling very positive and excited about doing something great. His excitement for kindness is infectious, as this student from New York City's Stuyvesant High School explains:
I was expecting to attend the lecture given by Shmuel Greenbaum for one period. I ended up staying for four. It is so uplifting, so enlightening, so refreshing to hear someone like him talk, to simply bubble over with excitement at the thought of doing good in the world. He is in his way a role model to us all. You think to yourself, "If only everyone else could practice kindness in the way that Shmuel Greenbaum has, the world would truly be a better place."
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Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy.
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what Partners in Kindness is trying to promote.
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