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Quality Details in Narrative Writing
Day 1:
On Hand: A Visitor for Bear by Bonnie Becker
Minilesson: Write on your easel or white board:
A mouse kept bothering a bear. Bear wanted Mouse to go, but Mouse stayed.
Tell students that Bonny Becker could have simply written these words to tell her story, but thankfully she didn't. She wrote a delightful book filled with quality details that help us to picture the story, to feel as if we're right there in the room with Bear and Mouse.
Read the story pausing once or twice to point out the specificity and lusciousness of the details:
He [Bear] brought out two plates of cheese, and two teacups, and he made a crackling fire in the fireplace for two sets of toes.
When the reading is complete, ask students to pair/share their favorite details. Invite them to include quality details in their own writing today.
While conferencing ask students, "Of all the details you included in this piece of writing, which is your favorite?"
Day 2:
On Hand: easel or white board, marker
Minilesson: Write on your easel or white board:
My friend and I played in the rain. We got wet.
Point out to students that these two sentences do not contain quality details. Suggest they put on their binoculars (p. 61-62) and help you answer some questions.
How hard is it raining?
How does the rain feel against your skin?
What are you wearing in the rain?
Where are you playing?
What are you doing?
Record answers on the board and then, with your students, rewrite the paragraph. Your paragraph might look something like this one:
Last night, rain fell like chopsticks and bounced on the sidewalk. My friend and I ran outdoors, wearing our bright yellow raincoats and shiny boots. We jumped in the puddles! Splashes exploded as high as our waists. Water ran down our cheeks as we laughed.
Again remind students to include quality details in their writing. While conferencing, guide students (through questioning) to add quality details to their pieces. Introduce the revision techniques of Spider Legs or Asterisks (pp. 46-47) if you haven't done so already.
Day 3:
Examine student writing such as Samantha's piece on riding down a carnival slide. Ask your students' to give you a thumb up or down in response to this question: "Did this writer include quality details?" Encourage them to discuss their favorite details and tell how these details enhance the reading experience. (Remember not to use your own students' work. This exercise should allow your students to talk freely about what makes good writing.)
Day 4:
Ask a student from your own class who has successfully added quality details to a piece to co-teach the mini-lesson with you. Have the student read his or her work without the revision. Then ask the student to reread the piece with the details included. Be amazed! Encourage students to take a second look at their own stories. Is there a place or two where details could be added?
Day 5:
Reread A Visitor for Bear. Stop when you get to the page where Bear is shouting: "BEGONE!" Point out to students that the word is printed in all capital letters. Ask students to infer why. (Bear is shouting in his loudest voice.) Remind students that capital letters go at the beginning of sentences (and some words), and tell them (if developmentally appropriate) that they don't want to use capital letters in the middle of words -- that is unless they, or their characters are shouting, too!
During conferences, have students show you three appropriately placed capital letters in their own work.
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