Quality Details in Expository Writing
On Hand: Ice Bear: In the Steps of the Polar Bear by Nicola Davies (2005).
Mini-Lesson: Tell students that details help to make writing more interesting. Write this sentence on the board: "Polar bears stay warm when it's cold outside." Tell students that this sentence, without any quality details, is a "snoozer"-the kind of writing that lulls us to sleep. Then read to them from Davies's book:
No frost can steal Polar Bear's heat. It has a double coat: one of fat, four fingers deep, and one of fur which has an extra trick for beating cold. Its hairs aren't really white, but hollow, filled with air, to stop the warmth escaping, and underneath, the skin is black to soak up heat.
Take a moment to discuss the unique details presented on this page. Tell students that readers love to be shown details they might have missed or never before had the opportunity to learn. Ask, "What have you noticed that others may not have observed?" Prepare to be astounded as students tell you the number of black tiles in the hall, the spider that's made a web below the water fountain, or the way in which their music teacher clears her throat when the room gets noisy. Encourage them to continue observing the world and to include these details in their writing.
Extension: Provide students with palm-size notebooks and encourage them to record unique observations that they can include in their writing. When students do transfer a detail from their notebook to their writing, invite them to coteach the next day's mini-lesson by modeling the collecting and incorporating of information.
Two other exemplary nonfiction texts model the use of quality details:
Stars Beneath Your Bed: The Surprising Story of Dust by April Pulley Sayer (2005):
Dust is made everywhere, every day.
A flower drops pollen.
A dog shakes dirt from its fur.
A butterfly flutters,
and scales fall off its wings.
It's a Butterfly's Life by Irene Kelly (2007):
A butterfly has four wings. Each wing has shimmering scales that overlap like shingles on a roof.
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