Point to What's Working Well
You may recall from last week's newsletter that I gave an example of first reflecting what the student wrote, and in my example this reflection inspired the student (Nick) to offer many quality details.
But what if I had reflected Nick's words and instead of offering details, he simply nodded--a sort of "Yup, that's what I wrote." Well then, I just go on to the next step, which is pointing to what is working well. Beginning with the positive is not simply a way to buffer the writer for what's coming next (presumably the faults), but a means for helping the writer repeat successes. In fact, I believe that clearly stating what a student has achieved and why is far more useful than identifying all that he or she has yet to learn. The trick is this: we must be very specific. If I simply gush: "Nick, this is wonderful!" he doesn't know why this particular piece is great, he simply knows that he has pleased his teacher. This means that I will probably get a month's worth of stories about his current topic. So instead I might say, "You wrote that your dog takes up all the room in your bed. That detail creates a wonderful picture in my mind-a funny picture. I can see you and your dog and I can't wait to read more." Hopefully Nick will continue to add concrete, vivid details. Here are some examples of pointing for five of the traits (I know you know what to say when it comes to conventions ;>:
Ideas
Your message is very clear.
You included some lovely details such as . . .
You chose a Goldilocks topic! (One that is neither too big nor too small, but just right.)
Oh, I was especially seeing a movie in my mind when you wrote . .
Organization
Your lead hooked me and made me want to read more.
You move from one thought to the next with real skill. You make writing look easy!
Look at these transitional words: first, next, finally.
You have a pattern of three!
You included three important reasons (feelings, details, parts of the story).
You have a circular ending!
Voice
I feel so much enthusiasm when I read your piece!
You really care about this topic!
Look at these words: ______. Only you would say it that way.
Why this is very honest, and it makes me think.
I love knowing what you feel about this topic.
I know that I am in the hands of a good storyteller when I read your work.
Word Choice
You chose words that create a picture in my mind.
Look at this strong verb. I can picture "squatted."
Your names for things are very specific. I'd pass right over the word "cookie," but I can taste a "ginger snap."
Wow! You used these words in an unusual way and they give your piece more voice.
The repetition of these words really works.
Sentence Fluency
Each of your sentences begins in an interesting way.
Look at this long sentence. It really helps me to see a picture in my mind.
This is a great short sentence. It helps you make your point.
Oooh. This part with short sentences builds suspense.
I can read your piece out loud and it sounds like music or poetry to my ears.
In this piece, your sentences flow from one to the next.
The dialogue really keeps me interested.
for primary teachers
