On Hand: One of your own pieces, written without attention to organization and ready to be projected on the board or a screen.

Mini-Lesson: When ideas are presented willy-nilly, the audience has difficulty following our thinking and or our story. Share one of your pieces with a lack of cohesive organization. Here is an example:

Oh, no! I slid off the inner tube and swam back to shore as quickly as I could! When I finally turned to face the beach, my brother looked like a little action figure. Once, I sat on an inner tube and floated in the sea.

            Ask your students, "Does this make sense?"

            When they share their confusion, show them how you revised to give the piece an understandable beginning, middle, and end:

Once, I sat on an inner tube and floated in the sea. When I finally turned around and faced the beach, my brother looked like a little action figure. Oh, no! I slid off the inner tube and swam back to shore as quickly as I could!

            Talk about the importance of organization for the sake of our audience.

Extension: When I share my writing, students inevitably ask, "Is this real?" I will often listen to their questions and return a day or two later with yet another revision:

When I was eight, my family and I spent a day at the beach. I begged my younger brother to let me use his inner tube and finally, he gave in. I couldn't have been happier, sitting on that floating island, staring out to sea. I drifted with sailboats and seagulls. Suddenly, I heard someone calling. Spinning the tube around, I realized I had gone quite a distance. My brother looked like an action figure in a far away land! I slid off the inner tube and wildly swam toward shore. My arms tired and I had to let go of the inner tube, but I finally reached the beach. My brother was so relieved. He may have lost his inner tube, but he still had a sister!