John S. Gordon - Business and Personal Coach

"You have the greatness and the power.  I just help you turn on the switch."

MARVELOUS MONDAYS

 

December 19, 2011 - Issue 152   

 

The Gift of Opening Up

 

 

 

    
Dear ,

John ImageWelcome to Issue 152.  If you did not receive a previous issue, you may use the archive link below to view it now.  The mission of "Marvelous Mondays" is to offer an inspirational thought, a practical exercise, some humor, or a simple tip to jump-start your week and to enhance your life, business, outlook or relationships. 

 

Please feel free to forward "Marvelous Mondays" to others who will enjoy it.

 

OPENING UP- A SEASONAL OPPORTUNITY

In this season of opening up gifts, let's flip it around and discuss the gift of opening up-opening up your ears. As families and friends come together during the holidays, there are wonderful opportunities for substantive sharing and conversations with children, parents, siblings, in-laws, and others.

 

There are two approaches in substantive conversations, the TAR or the LAB.

 

THE TAR APPROACH:

  • Tells someone what to do, or
  • Advises someone what to do, or
  • Rescues someone

 

Just like sealing a driveway with tar, the TAR approach seals off any real conversation.

 

THE LAB APPROACH:

  • Listen with open ears and open heart
  • Allow the other to discover their own resolution
  • Be supportive, not judgmental

Which approach do you think requires more patience on your part as a listener but yields a greater result?

 

EXERCISE

During the holidays you'll have opportunities to use the LAB approach in listening to others. I invite you to consider some of the following questions I use in coaching:

  • What factors have you considered" [asking someone "why" usually puts them on the defensive."
  • What other options do you have?
  • Is your decision going to get you where you want to be?
  • Is there another way?

This is a new approach for most people, so don't expect to master this in just a few weeks. It is always a work in progress. Please let me know how this works and send me any questions or comments. I really want to hear from you and am available to assist.

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

"Conversation was never begun at once, nor in a hurried manner.  No one was quick with a question, no matter how important, and no one was pressed for an answer.  A pause giving time for thought was the truly courteous way of beginning and conducting a conversation.  Silence was meaningful with the Lakota, and his granting a space of silence to the speech-maker and his own moment of silence before talking was done in the practice of true politeness and regard for the rule that, "thought comes before speech."-Luther Standing Bear (1868-1939) Oglala Sioux Chief
REVISED:  JOHN'S BIO
John has owned several businesses, is an attorney, and has practiced in the estate and business areas.  In addition, he coaches businesses owners, executives, entrepreneurs, professionals, speech makers and presenters.  He also coaches persons wanting to accelerate their careers or who are considering a career move or retirement.  He is also a life coach.

                   **John is currently accepting a few new coaching clients.**

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