BEING ASSERTIVE IS GOOD FOR EVERYONE
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How many times have you wanted to express yourself more clearly,
but you hesitated out of fear that you would be misunderstood,
rejected or even punished?
In issue 42, we discussed how assertiveness is one of the essential qualities of a leader. One of the definitions of assert is to make effective or to impose one's proper authority.
Some people have a tendency to confuse assertive with aggressive. Keep in mind that aggressive is a form of the word "aggression", thus wanting to dominate by attacking and being forceful.
On the other hand, being assertive is simply expressing your needs, feelings, and sometimes your rights. Some people have difficulty with this because they want to appear friendly and nice. However, when a person needs to be assertive, failing to do so leaves the other person confused; which can cause a breakdown in communication and consequences.
In short, no one wins when a person suppresses her/his rights and reasonable expectations. Learning to be assertive builds a person's confidence, which is another essential quality of a leader. For many it takes a little practice and a little courage to be assertive.
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EXERCISE
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In issue 42 you were invited to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 for being assertive. I invite you now to ask a colleague, associate worker, or friend to rate you on your assertiveness. If you believe you have difficulty being assertive, plan ahead and pick one situation in the next week where you can successfully be assertive. Of course, I'd be happy to offer some input in your particular situation.
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"
The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is
how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others."
Sharon Anthony
Author of "Asserting Yourself"
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