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Happy Holidays to you!
Here we are in the last month of '08 moving rapidly toward the Holidays. Does it feel like a runaway train or a sail boat gliding silently on the water with violins softly playing in the background? Do you still have a lot to do or are you in grace, organized and ready? This year we have had a chance to take a big look at our consumerism. I have scaled way back and from what I hear, others have, too. Maybe all of this economic stuff has caused us to evaluate our values and priorities? Out of everything comes good learning, wake-up calls, and new perspectives. It has made me think of how to create a really great Holiday this year. Here are a few good ideas:
Dos for a Great Holiday
Avoid the No. 1 killer of a good holiday - the expectations of others. Decide how you and your family wish to spend the holidays, and then carry it out. No further explanation is necessary. Also, let go of your expectations of others. Look at where you can be gentle and tender.
Practice the Golden Rule for good family times. "Treat others like you would like to be treated."
Don't take the comments of others personally. It is about them, not you.
If you are solo this Holiday, design your own perfect day. Make it a ton of fun, or the relaxation you have been wanting. I have had clients that wanted to stay in their PJ's all day and watch old movies and were as happy as could be to just unwind. Indulge for the day!
Make a distinction between stress and pressure. Stress comes from the outside, while pressure is an inside job--it's what we tell ourselves about the stress. Tell yourself sweet things.
Fight the cultural expectations. You and your kids will survive without more and the latest stuff. Your mood is more important than stuff.
Give gifts of lasting value, such as: Time. Story. Reconciliation. Understanding. Belonging. Family.
Play. Grade-schoolers and pre-teens will want to stay up all night on Christmas Eve. Teenagers will want to walk 20 feet away from you in the mall, be with their friends and ask "is that all there is?" after opening their presents. Parents will get frustrated trying to cope with anything that says "some assembly required."
Laugh lots. Giggle and remember your best Holiday times. Share them.
Remember that whatever you do, you are making memories that will last a lifetime. Remember, this is intended to be a time for celebration, not frustration.
Take some time to count all the accomplishments of 2008! And write down the big dreams of 2009! What do you want to create in the New Year?
Enjoy yourself. Give yourself full permission to have a great Holiday and a Happy New Year!
In my coaching group this year we have learned to embrace imperfect action. For me (a closet perfectionist) that is a great gift. It allows me the freedom to do the best I can. I even bought myself one of the Staples 'That Was Easy' buttons! Have you seen them? They are really great! I am buying one for my granddaughter who is a freshman at the University of Washington. I think it will help her motivation for home work and tests. My Coach, Mary, introduced it to me and what a great mood changer and reminder it is. It does not have to be perfect. I don't have to do it perfectly. I am not Martha Stewart. Just do it! Keep it easy! Keep it Simple and Sacred. Easy is my path. I have needed to remind myself of this wisdom all month long with the different challenges that have come up unexpectedly. I focus on the good in the NOW and the good in the past and the good in the future. It helps me to stay in that sail boat, gliding gently and silently on the water of life listening to the violins. It is my choice after all and leads to a much better mood.
I would like to gift you with a smile today. I received something so funny that I want to share with you. Have you seen the Christmas Elves? It made me laugh out loud when I saw myself as a dancing elf. If you want a good chuckle take a couple minutes and have some fun. This one is simple, trust me! You just drop the face photo you want into it, choose your music, and start to laugh.
First, talk about a sense of joy and effortlessness. I have learned that anything worth being or having is going to require a LOT of DOING. Doing is NOT effortless by definition.
Second and more important...Effortlessness is NOT a worthy pursuit!
Look at this dog. This dog is pure joy! Yet the effort is incredible. You can see s/he is getting tired, then s/he jumps back in! JOY is a combination of doing and being. Without the doing, there is no joy. Maybe you can have bliss while sitting doing nothing. But for me, that is not joy.
On a related point, I've spent a lot of time in sitting meditation and it is FAR from effortless. The only effortless thing I can think of is sleep. I appreciate sleep. It refreshes me for more DOING! The game of life is to have a lot of doing and a lot of being. That makes it sweet!
Wouldn't you like to be in the snow with this dog? Just imagine it for a minute. Brrrrr!
So, this year, I want to encourage you to think about what you really want for yourself and those you love--not just for the Holidays but for the next year as well. I expect, when you really think about it, the list of what you'd like to see "more of," in the new year, will read less like a shopping list and more like this:
-More love
-Greater peace
-Health and well being
-Hope and inspiration and
-A true feeling of prosperity
And no matter where you stand right now, all of this is well within your grasp. The most important thing to understand, however, is that the "stuff" that you receive for the Holidays will only bring you happiness short-term. To increase your happiness long-term you have to broaden your perspective. I will be announcing exciting new classes in January 2009 that will help to do just that.
It is going to be a great year and full of opportunity. Remember that the Chinese symbol for chaos is the also the symbol for opportunity, and we live in a world of opportunity. I pray that you and your family are together in joy, love, and happiness throughout this season!
Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Cool Kwanzaa, Beautiful Winter Solstice, and a Bodacious Bodhi Day!
Wishing you Love and Peace,
Kathy |
