To Stay or to Go? That is the Question!

Many people think that couples go to therapy in order to save their relationship, but this is not always the case. Sometimes I help couples break up. As strange as this might sound, we may need support to end a relationship, because breaking up can be hard!

I also help couples with what I call "conscious closure." What do I mean by conscious closure? It is based on the idea that how you end something sets the stage for a new beginning. In this case, how you end a relationship creates a certain momentum for your next relationship. If you end a relationship without making time for self-reflection, you are in danger of repeating the same dynamic you had in your old relationship, albeit with someone new.     Read more....  

We all know "Road Rage." As portrayed in the media, it is a potentially deadly, destructive roadway phenomenon. In fact, around the world, violent acts of road rage kill hundreds and injure thousands of people each year, and they cause millions of dollars of damage. These acts include ramming one's car into another car; getting out of one's car and assaulting another driver with fists, baseball bats, and tire irons; or attempting murder with weapons such as firearms and knives. However shocking and damaging these acts of violence are, they are extremely rare compared to the millions of safe, uneventful journeys taken each day around the globe.

For many of us, when we think about road rage, we conjure up mental images of other drivers' anger-fueled expressions and behaviors-like "flipping the bird," cutting someone off, tail-gating, shaking a fist, honking, and yelling obscenities. Witnessing these offensive displays stirs up intense feelings of shock, disbelief, and anger. When they happen to us, we can feel threatened, vulnerable, and furious.    Read more... 

Dr. Robert (Bob) Nemerovski, Psy.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with a private practice in Marin County and San Francisco. He provides psychotherapy for teens, adults, and couples and psychological testing for teens and adults.

 Some of his special areas of focus include Road Rage/Anger, Generalized Anxiety/Worry, Issues of Aging & Retirement, and Men's Issues. He particularly enjoys working with men and women who are new to therapy. Learn more at www.DrNemerovski.com . 

 Sleepless in San Francisco    

 

Is your morning mantra "Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee!" Do you find yourself feeling tired, even after a night's sleep? Sleep is a major, often invisible factor, in how we feel about ourselves and relate to others. You find yourself online, texting, reading or watching T.V. until the wee hours. In this fast paced culture, we try to fit in as much as possible at night, making it hard settle down when bedtime comes around.

My therapy clients talk about wanting to energetic and happier but feel stuck in a daily grind of work, errands or taking care of others. Staying busy has become the enemy of a good night's sleep. Experts recommend the average adult get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night. For those who are sleep deprived, you may need even more to feel rested.   

 

My therapy clients talk about wanting to energetic and happier but feel stuck in a daily grind of work, errands or taking care of others. Staying busy has become the enemy of a good night's sleep.    Read more...  

Lisette Lahana, LCSW has a private psychotherapy practice in the Lake Merritt neighborhood in Oakland.  She has been licensed for over twelve years and runs a group and provides EMDR for trauma survivors.   She enjoys working with people who are under stress due to major life changes including identity questioning.  LGBT welcome (510) 915-4795 or LisetteLahana.com.     

What is different about Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples?

This is a question that I am often asked by couples in distress who are seeking help. The kinds of difficulties couples get into are often ones that have deeper emotions than those seen in the moment of an argument. When a partner feels hurt, he or she may quickly react with frustration and anger, which can result in an argument. Sometimes it seems like the same argument happens over and over. When people are escalated, it is hard to see the underlying emotions and to feel safe to talk about those deeper feelings. Sometimes this is a pattern of feelings and reactions that began in childhood. Couples often start their pattern of arguments early in their relationship. Over time, the escalation can happen faster, and lead the couple to think that this cannot be changed. It can start to feel hopeless besides frustrating or irritating. Each of the partners might feel that they are not understood by the person they love. This can cause a great deal of pain, confusion, frustration, anxiety and sometimes, self doubt.    

Emotionally Focused Therapy helps each partner understand the underlying feelings that not only provokes his or her responses, but also the responses of the partner. Sometimes the individual doesn't recognize the feeling under the frustration until given time and a safe place to discover it.   Read More... 

 Maren Gleason, LCSW, is in private practice in San Ramon, California.  She provides therapy and counseling for couples, families and individuals.  Additional information can be found at www.marengleason.com