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The Lead Up to Valentines Day
Sucks!
Don't let all the fluff and drama get to you.
Holidays (especially this one) cause women to go back to bad relationships~we've all done it, or have thought about doing it...
To keep yourself away,
FOCUS on Hindsight
and be realistic with yourself about what was. Here's an example of how I did it:
What I know now, post breakup...
I was more alone with him, than without him.
I didn't miss him as much as I missed what I never got to experience (what was supposed to be).
It seemed I was so close to having it all with him, but really, I was the furtherest away from everything I really wanted when we were together.
Going through the motions was a slow, painful death; it meant I didn't face my own reality, but I did not have the love, or the full life I wanted when I was with him.
It had been over for years~but I stayed, and when I did leave, I went back. That was our pattern, but when I was there, I was alone, and I was unhappy. I didn't know how to start all over again, and I didn't want to~but the truth is, when I went back, it wasn't that I wanted to go back to him, he was cold and distant and not very kind, it's that I was afraid of what would come next, and that maybe I was never going to be loved. There is no way it could have worked.
I had a man~but I wanted a partner. I was empty inside. We mastered going through the motions, and even though he was happy to settle for good enough I wasn't. I grew more invested every time it seemed like he finally got it~but it never lasted, so I only wasted more time when I already knew it was wrong. When someone wants you to want less, it's a sign it's over.
So, my suggestion to you single ladies who might weaken
as this tricky day approaches:
Reflect back with a realistic view, and keep the romantic stuff out of it~yes...I'm telling you not to get all romantic and sentimental on valentines day if you are going to going through a breakup. As those flowers get delivered to your co-workers and friends tomorrow, and you start thinking about your ex and feeling empathetic and mushy about him, tap into the way the relationship and the man made you feel, and focus on what you want and deserve by comparison.
You can make it...I have faith in you! Keep yourself moving towards that special something that you wanted...remember that? Stay strong & be patient. Good luck!
Create what you crave,
~Teagin
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