The Bachelorette Chooses | Ashley Hebert The New Bachelorette |
So, tonight is the night when Bachelorette Ashley shows us who she chooses.
I am so skeptical that this will work out, and I'm worried Ashley will chose the wrong man because she chooses men from the wrong criteria. I've been watching Ashley miss the signals that were obvious, and I've seen her repeatedly fall for men who were wrong, misleading her, not interested, or who were outright bad for her.
Although she is down to two men, Ben and J.P., she is intrigued by the one with the most intensity, which is a big signal to me that she is going to pick the wrong guy~and that she will go for the intense one rather than the more consistent, "normal" guy.
Women who draw in the wrong men have to watch out for intensity and not get sucked in by it; it is one of the leading attractors that can get you involved with bad, or even dangerous, man.
Let me remind you why I'm skeptical by directing you to some of the men she rejected or missed signals from in this quick recap:
William ~ self-serving, self interested, falls in love fast...She missed it / wanted him
Bentley ~ completely abnormal, very intense, she feel for him hard and she missed all the signals because he tricked her and brought the intensity she craves, she wanted him...he was exciting and took control. She allowed him to decide if they were an item.
Masked Man ~ a weird one, self-serving, game player, some intensity in a disturbing kind of way-not in a romantic kind of way...she continually gave him chances/more time, felt bad for him, wanted to give him time to reveal himself
Ryan ~ normal guy, a little awkward in a sweet way, non-threatening, "shy" in making conversation with her, but smitten with her/interested in her, treated her with respect...she missed it, rejected him because he was not very intense and he seemed to be waiting for her to pull him in (but she wants a man to lead and direct).
Ames~ normal, sweet, a little different but completely respectful, allows her to lead and imply/say what she wants, likes, needs, and he was romantic and a gentleman. He was also slightly boring in his approach, no big fireworks or sweeping her off her feet-but he would be there in the long haul where the intense guys may not as their level of interest wains over time. She rejected him because she missed it.
Constantine ~ consistently not connecting / noncommittal, she missed it / wanted him~I am going to go further in to this "relationship" in my next newsletter so I can point out some key areas where she missed his signals and why that may have happened.
Ben ~ a "normal" guy in love, a little boring, but gentle; lets her lead~which she doesn't like, so she chooses him because he chooses her, because he is a safe bet-it seems, but she prefers J.P. who is more intense and "aggressive" in his expression of interest for her while Ben is probably more sincere and deep.
J.P. ~ potentially controlling, too jealous and she misses it / wants him. She waits for him to confirm he is picking her, so she can then pick him back. Ball is always in his court, if he decides he wants her, she is his. She wants him because he is so convincing about wanting her. She lets it be his choice, not her own choice.
He is moody, confrontational, subtly aggressive, easily put off-balance and is quick to get irritated and annoyed. He tries to keep it hidden, but if you watch him closely you can see it.
I hope she doesn't pick him, he is wrong for her and his intensity bothers me as it usually signals trouble for women at some point. My gut tells me she should not trust him.
Neither guy is right for her in my opinion, but the premise of the show will cause her, possibly, to pick one just to seal the deal. If she picks Ben she will be settling for someone she doesn't really want, and if she goes with J.P. it will end in heartbreak soon. Best thing she could do is put her big girl panties on and walk away. Finding love isn't a compromise of the items on your list-where you have to have a boring guy to be safe and respected, nor an intense one in order to have fun and chemistry.
Why do I think she missed it with a few of these guys? Because she interprets intensity as chemistry and that is a set up for women looking for love. I'll be talking more about this in my upcoming newsletters.
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