The day to focus on love and lovers is here again...it's going to be a l-o-n-g day for singles.  February 14th represents the only time when the rest of the world gets to know for sure that you are loveless.  Your strength is about to be tested, so get ready for a day full of reminders that you are alone.

It really isn't a big deal to anyone else that you are single, but it will feel like a spot light has been turned on and you are right in the center of it.  If you have left a toxic relationship, all the emotional ties and trappings that came with leaving that behind can resurface, making this a day that causes many women to look back~not with regret, but surprisingly, with rose colored glasses and romantic notions. 

It will be easy to remember how your ex used to be, and how good things were sometimes, because everything around us is shouting that being one of two is what matters.  If you cave in to fit in~that is, if you feel left out and contact him for a little attention, or respond to him reaching out to you, then yes, you will get instant satisfaction and fulfillment from the momentary attention, and then it will backfire on you.  Keep self-care as your main priority or your past will resurface faster than a New York minute.

Fantasies about love get many women involved in the wrong relationships, so, ironically, this is no day to romanticize love.  Valentine's Day is meant for celebrating real love, not painful, empty, or selfish love, so use the day to get your imagination going about what real love actually is~and visualize a new and better kind of love than the one you had before.  What does it look like?  How does he treat you?  How does he talk to you?  When you are in his arms, how does it feel?  How does he acknowledge you? 

Consider this a love-assessment day and check in with yourself about how your love life is going now, and where you want it to go this year.  Keep in mind what ideal love looks like, and strategize about what are you going to do differently to attract it to you. 

As the day goes on, pay close attention and you will see that real love comes from the depth of a man's soul; it is calm, peaceful and easy; it is possibly the best thing a woman can experience, and it exists because good men exist, and good men love women well.  Begin to notice these good men, and be glad you are now free to set yourself up for such love.

In case you are in doubt or if you are short of examples about what real love looks like, please meet Chris Medina: