The idealization of succeeding independently inherent to North American culture creates a major barrier for many people to reach out and ask for support. Often when someone inquires about my life coaching services, the first thing s/he says is:" I should be able to figure this out on my own."

Nobody really succeeds on her/his own. We all receive support along the way from family, friends, mentors, colleagues, teachers, people (living or dead) whose ideas and actions inspire us and even sometimes from strangers.

When we look at nature, we discover that nothing happens in isolation. No tree grows by itself. It receives nutrients from the soil, water from the rain, energy from the sun. Since we are part of nature, the same is true for us human beings.

I recently talked with one of my dear clients who had reached out to me a few years ago with exactly these words: "I should be able to figure this out on my own."

It has been an absolute joy to support her on her journey and witness how she transformed her life. She is now doing the work she loves and is well-compensated and recognized for it. When she initially contacted me she felt unappreciated, underpaid and overworked. As I congratulated her on her success, she said: "I couldn't have done it without you! Thank you so much for all your support!"

She went on to share that asking for help has become a lot easier for her since working with me as her life coach. Recently she had painted a hutch in the carport. Though the hutch wasn't heavy, it was awkward to carry on her own. She watched herself think through all the scenarios of how she could possibly manage to transport this piece of furniture into the house on her own. That would have been her approach in the past. Quickly she concluded that she simply needed to ask for help. She asked her brother in law to give her a hand. It was an easy job for two people and she felt very satisfied and thankful for his support. Of course her brother in law received great joy from being able to help her.

How to Open Yourself to Receive Support: 

• Which aspects of your life do you think you should be able to do on your own? Write each of them down. "I should be able to do/figure out/handle/learn ......on my own."
• Now rewrite each sentence in the following format: "If I shouldn't be able to do/figure out/handle/learn ....on my own, I could....."
• Decide which of your ideas you will act on first.
• Follow through and reach out for support.
• By asking for help you also give a precious gift. After all, it is a wonderful feeling to be asked for support.

Enjoy receiving support on your journey!

Visit my blog for recent posts on life coaching:

• Life Coaching is Like a Smoothie for the Soul 
• Success on Your Terms with Life Coaching