Canadians are known for being nice. One of my clients found herself in a situation where her usual way of being nice and doing things she thought were expected of her left her with a bitter taste of resentment. To her, being a good friend, colleague and relative meant being nice and doing what was expected of her at all times. It dawned on her that her need to be nice got in the way of recognizing and attending to her own needs.

She started to pay attention to her feelings before she responded to someone's request. Did she feel excited, joyful or happy about giving her time, resources and energy to fulfill this person's request or did she feel torn? If she felt great, she went ahead and did it. If she felt unsure, she allowed herself a bit of time and told the person she would get back to them later.

Over time, she realized that she felt better about her decisions and so can you!

In the words of Dr. Seuss: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."