| Upcoming Gigs |
Saturday, 6/6 - 11:15 - 21+ Gotham Rocks Showcase! at Crash Mansion 199 Bowery
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Today In Metal History
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On this day in metal history, Iron Butterfly released In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida... and boy did it suck. A 15 minute organ solo??? Wow. |
| Horoscope |
By Nostradamus
Across the farmer's knob 10 black rabbits schtoop Our prickled loins soon be doused in wine Heaven's hamburger... Consumed!
...holy shit, what's in this weed? Seriously, I'm freaking out... ok, breathe... god damn, what was I talking about? "Heaven's hamburger"??? Man, I am BAKED. |
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In this issue, listen to our new single, get info about our appearance at the Gotham Rocks Showcase, and participate in our song title contest... |
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Listen to Our New Single |
Two more days in the studio and our new CD is done! No, really... I know we've been talking about it forever... no damn it, we haven't been "holed up in a basement guzzling cans of generic Duane Reade hairspray" ... alright, here's proof. Ladies and gents, the first single from our new release Mephisto Makes Metal Marmalade (title may change), CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO "BROOKLYN"! |
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Gotham Rocks Showcase Saturday (6/6) |
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This Saturday, June 6, we'll be playing the prestigious Gotham Rocks Showcase at the high-level club Crash Mansion in NYC. This show features an exclusive selection of NYC's finest hard rock bands showcasing for music industry pros. We'll be playing with 8 excellent bands, in particular our pals in Diablo Royale and Shadows Lie, both of whom kick prodigious amounts of ass. The showcase is also a mini-battle of the bands with some sweet prizes including press coverage and radio play. Judges from Sirius Satellite Radio and Revolver magazine will be on hand, so come help sway them with your roars of approval!
The showcase starts at 7pm, we go on at 11:15. For $10, this show is a heaping value meal of rock! Come get stuffed... with rock, people, with rock.
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Guess the Real Song Title Contest
Here at King Hell Enterprises, we're known for our maturity. (Ahem) Below are 10 song titles, only one of which is an actual song on the new recording. Email us your guess as to which one of these is genuine and we'll send you and MP3 of the track free! (Note: MP3 will not restore the tens of points shaved off your IQ from reading the list below)
1) Brass Balls of Iron
2) Datin' Satan
3) Thou Hast Been Smote! (Once Upon an Anvil Part I)
4) And Smote Again! (Once Upon an Anvil Part II)
5) ...crap, What Tense is "Smote"? (Once Upon an Anvil
Part IV)
6) Retarded Forces of Doom
7) Leroy, the Unfortunately Named W.A.S.P.
8) Shit, We Forgot to Write "Once Upon an Anvil
Part III" (Once Upon an Anvil Part V)
9) Captain Electric and the Magic Doo-Doo Machine
10) Great, Another King Hell Song with a F*cking Swear in
the Title (good luck with radio, geniuses) |
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| Many thanks for reading King-Hellions! We appreciate your continued interest in us... seek help!
Metal regards, The bastards in King Hell!
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