Dear Friends, 

After working at The Center for the last 15 years and after a lot of thinking, I have decided to accept the position as Executive Director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of El Dorado County.

My years at The Center have been wonderful, meaningful and rewarding.  I am so grateful that I was given the freedom and the forum to follow my passion to improve the lives and safety of children, families, and their pets by developing interactive programs for schools and organizations in the community.  I am proud to say that the programs thrived and evolved and today they are highly regarded by school officials and the community.

Over the years, I have developed relationships with community members and my outstanding co-workers that will last a life time and I have collected many great memories.  I will miss all the staff, but I will be remaining in the non-profit world and look forward to keeping in touch and collaborating with The Center and others in the county in our quest to combat violence and abuse and make sure children and families are successful.  I am excited about the challenges ahead and will see all of you around town.   

Thank you for all your support! 

Judy Knapp

by Pat Barron

I would like to invite you all to join us for the 6th Annual "Kacie's Ride For Hope
." This year's Kacie's Ride will be held on September 10, 2011.  

All that have ridden the past five years have made this ride and benefit larger every year; it's a grand event. I personally thank each and every one of you that have assisted and participated in this event. It would not happen without you!!!

Our little putt through the High Sierra is getting pretty well known in Placerville and outlying areas. Each year our contribution towards "The Center" has grown considerably, ultimately assisting victims of domestic violence. Our goal is to provide much needed funds to the Center for Violence-Free Relationships. We not only provide monetary support, we are opening the public's eyes to the Domestic Violence that is happening all around us.

I have a personal connection to "Kacie's Ride for Hope." My little sister Kacie was shot to death in the driveway of her home by her ex-boyfriend on the 26th of July, 2006. She was only forty and left a fine young son.

Kacie and I grew up in a family which was affected by domestic violence, and she always fought against it. Kacie believed in helping others and numerous times she took women into her home for refuge from unsafe environments. She took them under her wing, so to speak. She did this hoping that she could empower them to choose new values and escape abuse.

Kacie's Ride 2010 at The Bell Tower!

My sister Kacie liked to ride, and one of her favorite rides was the "Hope Valley Run." In those days it was a three day party, but nowadays we put a little different twist on it. You know, we're just riding because myself and many others are tired of what is happening to families due to domestic violence. There is no excuse to use violence to solve a dispute. It never works.

Kacie was also a client and supporter of the "Center." If she were here today you would see her face at the microphone running the show. I wish she was! Nothing is going to bring my little sister back, but we can prevent other tragedies like this by supporting this cause. Come ride with us, and spread the word at home and in your county so that we can all work towards an end to DV. Let's make this a statewide and then a nationwide effort.

You know, you just don't know how much you love someone until they are suddenly taken. Kacie, I will see you again someday.

If you would like to sponsor or donate a raffle prize, you can download the form here.  All contributions are greatly appreciated and will help to save lives in our community.

I hope to see you all at this years "Kacie's Ride For Hope." Even if you don't ride, you are welcome to attend - the more the merrier!

May no one else suffer the fate that my little sister has. In Kacie's name, I sincerely thank you all for your support.    

Pat Barron

If you would like to make a donation to "Kacie's Ride for Hope" please click here. 

Slowing Down...  

This article is reprinted with permission from the blog  

Harmony of the Heart by our own Eddie Zacapa.

The practice of slowing down is a gift for the person who can master this discipline. Many times we are so busy that we forget to focus on that which is most important. We may as a result let life pass us by.

It is healthy to take some time daily to slow down. During this time turn off the radio, television and computer. Become comfortable with silence. You can practice deep breathing, meditation, prayer, journaling, writing a gratitude list, drawing, or reflection. These are just some things you can do. It is amazing how many people are uncomfortable with silence and immediately want to fill it with noise or activity.

Slowing down is also something we can practice when we get angry. It is when we don't slow down that we usually get into trouble. We may say something that we regret or do something that is not in alignment with our values.

Rollo May says, "Freedom is the capacity to pause between stimulus and response."

If we can slow down when we are triggered by someone or something and think about how to respond we can live in freedom and in alignment with our values. Marshall Rosenberg said in a workshop, "Take your time so you can choose a compassionate energy instead of the programmed response we have been taught."

Something that helps me to slow down and to not get angry is to remember that there is always a good reason for why others do what they do. Rosenberg says that the good reason is an unmet need. All people are trying to do in any given situation is attempting to meet their needs. Sometimes the way they go about it is tragic and suicidal because it decreases the likelihood of their need ever getting met.

After we slow down and remember to check in with what needs are alive in us and in others we can open our hearts to compassion -- compassion toward ourselves and toward others. We are back on track again. We create the space to care, love and regain our peace.

"A capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest meaning and significance." - Pablo Casals

You don't pay much attention to it...until you're out of it.  Toilet paper.   The Center spends over $1,500 a year on toilet paper and it would be even more without the donations we receive throughout the year.   Between the 2142 days of shelter provided to victims of domestic violence last year and the office, toilet paper goes quickly.

On June 16, the United Way California Capitol Region held its third annual United Toilet Paper Drive.  The goal of the drive is to help United Way's 142 non-profit partners off-set the cost of this staple item.  With 35,000 rolls of toilet paper collected the first year and 50,000 the second year, this year's event is stacking up to be the biggest ever.   The Center has been a direct recipient of the United Toilet Paper Drive for the past 2 years and we are excited to be on the list again this year.

United Way's Toilet Paper Drive makes it possible for the Center to use the money it normally spends on toilet paper to directly benefit our clients.  The $1,500 that would normally be spent buying toilet paper can now be used to provide over 750 meals or 30 nights of shelter for women and children escaping domestic violence.  Who would have thought that toilet paper could save a life...?

Many thanks to the United Way for their generous support of The Center!  If you would like information on how to participate in this event next year, donation information can be found at

By Eddie Zacapa, Positive Solutions Program Coordinator

I am so grateful for the opportunity to spend nine days with Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication. The Center offered to send me to International Intensive Training earlier this month with Marshall and Valentina Rosenberg.

I had no idea what to expect but found myself blown away by the experience. There were approximately 50 people from all over the world participating in this training. Within a couple of days we formed a community that would bond in a powerful way. Many are still keeping in touch via email. I established friendships that I intend to continue and shared tears with many as they held my needs in their hearts. 

I learned many things including how to befriend my jackals. Jackal is the term used to describe the language that we use that does not serve life. They are the voices in our head that judge, criticize or blame others.

My highlight of the training was being able to express my gratitude to Marshall and Valentina Rosenberg for all they have done to further nonviolent communication in the world. I will never forget the excitement I saw in Marshall and Valentina's eyes as I shared how NVC has impacted my personal life, and how we are now integrating the nonviolent communication process into all that we do at The Center and how that is impacting the lives of our clients.  I also shared the recidivism stats that our batterer's program has recorded. We recently found out that clients who graduated in 2007 and 2008 from our batterer's intervention program have not reoffended. This is a 100% success rate in clients who we served that belong to El Dorado County!

I told Marshall that he contributed to these results because it is his process that we have been integrating into the curriculum. I also shared that I am so grateful for him teaching me things that my parents were not able to teach me that I can now teach to my children.