December 2011Vol 4, Issue 12
Creative Coaching Group
LIGHT ON THE SUBJECT
 the Creative Coaching Group newsletter

Dear ,

Jan feeling festive!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

It's the time of year when I get all sentimental and filled with warm fuzzies about my wonderful life and the oh-so-fabulous people in it. My thanks to all of you - my readers, my supporters, my clients, my family and friends - for being part of my life and supporting my coaching work. Having an intrinsic alignment with my purpose is what motivates me. How do you get motivated? Do you get driven by the opportunities or does avoiding the potential downside in a situation spur you to action?  

 

Too often (especially in this holiday season) we approach our activities from a place of obligation (if we don't do "x", then "y" will result) which can feel like a heavy burden.  What if you consciously flip your thinking and start to look for the opportunity in each moment, each day, each activity? How might that lighten your load? Read my feature article below to discover if you have been "negatively motivating" yourself. (Oh, and be sure to read right to the P.S. at the bottom to get in on my Christmas gift opportunity for you!)

 

Best wishes to you and yours for a joyful holiday season filled with love, laughter and music! jan signature

Jan Carley, PCC

Certified Executive Coach  Creative Coaching Group
604 873-1763  e: jan@creativecoachinggroup.com 
 
 

Feature Article: It's Time to Stop SHOULD-ING on Yourself!

Opportunity ahead!Have you been should-ing on yourself? Do you often feel weighed down by obligation? Do you use "negative motivation" to spur you into action?

 

I was working with one of my wonderful coaching clients the other day and Brad* was telling me how he had spent the day talking himself out of attending a networking function that evening. His inner "chat" tried to convince him that the attendees were more experienced and knowledgeable in his new line of work than he was and that he wouldn't have anything worthwhile to contribute to the conversations so it would be socially uncomfortable and awkward. Finally, he decided to attend the function because if, as the new kid on the block, he didn't show up, his absence would be noticed and people would think he wasn't friendly, or that he was a snob. When I talked to him, he was dreading going to the event, but had resigned himself to show up in order to avoid further potential social repercussions.

 

I asked Brad to consider a new mindset and asked him what the possible opportunities were for him if he went to this party? He instantly came up with several: "I might meet someone I can collaborate with", "I might meet someone who can help/support me", I might meet a like-minded individual to mastermind with", and "I might meet someone who can teach me something."

"How did that feel?" I asked him? He replied, "Liberating, freeing, optimistic, like a burden had left my shoulders". POSITIVE INNER MOTIVATION - considering the opportunities in doing the action.

 

Brad had a real AHA! moment when he realized that he had usually approached tasks from the "what is the cost if I don't do this" frame of mind. He had been motivating himself regularly from a negative perspective. Brad was good at internally punishing himself with negative and damaging self-talk as his primary motivational technique. NEGATIVE INNER MOTIVATION - focusing on the costs in not doing the action

 

carrot and stick"Carrots and Sticks are so last century", says Daniel H. Pink, in his brilliant new book, DRIVE - The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.

Pink was referring to the common "Carrot and Stick" reward and punishment motivational technique that most of us grew up with wherein good behavior is rewarded, and poor behavior is punished. Pink refers instead to 3 essential elements of true motivation (autonomy, mastery and purpose) that connect to create the most powerful form of motivation of all - intrinsic motivation - that which comes from within.

 

When Brad realized that the opportunities in attending the function could connect intrinsically with his mastery and purpose, the function became a lot more attractive, and the decision to attend then became a no-brainer!

 

Are you negatively motivated? Do you usually think of the downside or the cost of not doing something as a way to push you into action? You might ask "Who cares? If the motivation (negative or otherwise) prompts me into action, doesn't that serve the same purpose and won't that have the same result?"

 

Well, yes, you may be prompted into action, but you would be acting from a place of scarcity, with a limiting attitude and energy. Your results and your joy factor could be much more positive if you flipped into an opportunity mindset, one of abundance and possibility.

 

Around this holiday season we have a number of situations where we may be motivated to do something because we feel we "have to" because the "cost" of not doing them is too great. The weight of obligation is heavy. What might happen if you approached each of your 'obligatory' Christmas tasks and gatherings with one simple question:
"What is the opportunity here?"

 

Perhaps that holiday family reunion might offer an opportunity to get closer to your grandkids. Perhaps you might be able to mend a few fences with your recalcitrant brother-in-law. Maybe you would learn a new recipe or perhaps the long drive to your family gathering would simply give you much needed time to chill out , relax and listen to some music on your car stereo.

 

In a nutshell:

  • Approach your activities with the "what is the opportunity here" mindset rather than the "what is the cost if I don't do this" mindset.
  • Feel the lightening of your shoulders as you step into a situation from a place of curiosity and possibility instead of one of obligation.
  • Notice how showing up differently affects your energy, and others around you.

Resources:   Daniel H. Pink, DRIVE - The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

 

*client name changed to preserve confidentiality

 

Lightbulb of the Month

blue lightbulb

 

"Opportunity doesn't knock, it waits to be invited in"

- Thomas Leonard

 

ORDER BEFORE DEC. 10 for Pre-Christmas Delivery!

book cover

Treat someone you love to Harmony from the Inside Out by Jan Carley - the book that people are enthusiastically raving about worldwide. Learn the approach and get the tools you need to really start leveraging your life's possibilities and living into your maximum potential.
 
CLICK HERE FOR FREE CHAPTER DOWNLOAD: Chapter 1 : The "A" Game - Living in Possibility
 

ORDER BEFORE DEC. 10th to

ENSURE PRE-CHRISTMAS DELIVERY IN NORTH AMERICA 

http://www.harmonyfromtheinsideout.com

 

BOOK ALSO AVAILABLE AT THESE FINE INDEPENDENT BOOK STORES IN VANCOUVER, BC

Odin Books, 1110 W. Broadway

                  Hager Books, 2176 West 41st Ave. 

 

GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT TO LAST! Early bird price to Jan.4

2012 party hatsJoin Jan's next popular

Harmony from the Inside Out Tele-Boot Camp

 January 25 - Feb 15, 2012 

 

*Early Bird Pricing until January 4th  - Save $30*

  

Join women around the world and your coach, Jan Carley, for the 4 action-packed weeks of the Harmony from the Inside Out Tele-Boot Camp- a group coaching tele-course that will positively rock your world with amazing learning, insights, and transformative shifts.

Are you ready for more focus, joy and purpose in your life? Register now and save $30! 

Wednesday nights  8 pm EST/5 pm PST 

  

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILED INFORMATION OR TO REGISTER FOR THE TELE-BOOT CAMP 

 

Questions? Please email me!  jan@creativecoachinggroup.com  

About Jan Carley

Jan Carley Jan Carley is a Professional Certified Executive Coach credentialed with the International Coach Federation. Her com­pany, Creative Coaching Group, specializes in working with highly motivated individuals and high-achieving teams to expand their possibilities, leverage their strengths and focus their energies to achieve a leading edge of excellence. Jan lives in Vancouver, B.C., Canada, and is available for individual and team coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements worldwide. Contact Jan at 604 873-1763  email: jan@creativecoachinggroup.com

  

ICF logo

  

Quick Links
Jan's Coaching Company Creative Coaching Group
Jan's work with BarbershoppersInner Coach of Barbershop
 
P.S.  MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU!

Dear Readers: Send me an email saying YES, Jan, I want my 2012 to ROCK!  in the subject line and I will help you start your 2012 off right by sending you

*a 2012 planning guide to get you thinking about what you want for your new year

and

*invitation and details about how you can join me in a free one-time only group coaching tele-call in January where we will then help launch your new year of opportunity!

 

Simply email me at: jan@creativecoachinggroup.com and say YES!    

*numbers are limited so act now!

If you would like to reprint any part of this ezine in your blog or newsletter, please feel free to do so as long as you include the following credit information: Jan Carley inspires possibilities by coaching from the "inside out." Sign up to receive the free 15 page report, 5 Ways to Instantly Focus for Harmony and Success, and receive a free subscription to Jan's monthly coaching e-newsletter, LIGHT ON THE SUBJECT.
Creative Coaching Group www.creativecoachinggroup.com
copyright 2011. All rights reserved