Generating the Gratitude Attitude
Wise men and women throughout the ages have encouraged us to feel grateful for what we have. Why? To put it simply, gratitude makes us feel good. When you're feeling grateful, your mind is clear, you have a dearer relationship to the universe and its creator, and you become more aware of the big picture.
With gratitude in the forefront of your awareness, it is difficult to see the world as something to be dealt with; rather, it becomes your friend, your ally and your supporter.
Gratitude practices can be a powerfully transformative and can improve our emotional and physical well-being.
"Practicing gratitude helps people extract the most out of life. People can also experience an overall shift to a more benevolent view of the world. I think it's kind of a spiritual shift for some people because it makes them more aware of life as a gift," says psychologist Dr. Robert Emmons of U.C. Davis.
Dr. Michael McCullough of the University of Miami and Dr. Emmons have been conducting an ongoing Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness. Here are some of their findings:
Grateful People:
- Report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.
- Do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life.
- Have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others.
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Report fewer physical symptoms, exercise more, feel more connected to others.
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Are more likely to reach their goals.
- Are seen as more generous and more helpful.
- Are more likely to acknowledge a belief in the interconnectedness of all life and a commitment to and responsibility to others.
- Place less importance on material goods; are less likely to judge their own and others success in terms of possessions accumulated; are less envious of wealthy persons; and are more likely to share their possessions with others as compared to those with less gratitude.
So how can we to cultivate this attitude?
I don't always remember to take the time to be grateful for the blessings in my life. So, I went looking for ways to increase my attitude of gratitude. I have discovered a few daily practices for gratitude. I encourage you to try them too until they become a habit.
Keep a gratitude journal
Researchers find that people who keep weekly gratitude journals feel better about their lives as a whole, and are more optimistic about the future in comparison with those who didn't keep gratitude journals.
Every evening before meditation or before bed, spend a few minutes writing the answers to the following questions: Ask, then listen for the answers and write them down. You can't do it wrong. Here are the questions: What have I received today? What have I given today?
The answers don't have to be poetic, but the act of writing them down will bring your attention to how you are being supported in life. I notice that when I list everything I received and then everything I gave each day, the giving column is always shorter than the receiving column.
"As we become aware that we've received so much more than we've given, not only does that cultivate gratitude, it also cultivates often a sense of wanting to give something back to the world." says Gregg Krech, author of Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self Reflection.
My cousin Barrie recently shared with me that she goes through the alphabet and for each letter, she thinks about what she is grateful for that begins with that letter. A, Air.
Remember all things
In his book, The Wisdom of Wallace Wattles, which inspired the movie, The Secret, Dr. Wattles, says, "It is necessary to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude."
When eating bamboo sprouts,
remember the man who planted them.
~Chinese Proverb
Thich Nhat Hanh illustrates interconnectedness in his book, Peace is Every Step. He writes, "If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper. Without a cloud, there will be no rain; without rain, the trees cannot grow; and without trees, we cannot make paper. The cloud is essential for the paper to exist. If the cloud is not here, the sheet of paper cannot be here either."
"If we look into this sheet of paper even more deeply, we can see the sunshine in it. Without sunshine, the forest cannot grow. In fact, nothing can grow without sunshine. And so, we know that the sunshine is also in this sheet of paper. And if we continue to look, we can see the logger who cut the tree and brought it to the mill to be transformed into paper. And we see wheat. We know the logger cannot exist without his daily bread, and therefore the wheat that became his bread is also in this sheet of paper. The logger's father and mother are in it too."
"When we look in this way, we see that without all of these things, this sheet of paper cannot exist. Looking even more deeply, we can see ourselves in this sheet of paper too. We cannot just be by ourselves alone. We have to inter-be with every other thing. This sheet of paper is, because everything else is."
Make 'thank you' your mantra
There are so many ways to communicate gratitude. You can express it inside with quiet feelings from your heart, or you can express your thanks in the outer world through acts of conscious kindness toward others, or a simple thank you note. Outward demonstrations of gratitude can become a practice for authentic connection with another person.
Your kindness invites people to fulfill your wishes more readily, and to do so with kindness in return. And it fills your your shared spirit. A heartfelt "thank you' creates a momentary bond, and the accumulation of these fleeting moments builds permanent links until one day you have an abundance of loving, helpful and supportive people in your life. You are no longer alone within your heart, or lonely in your outer world. Giving can be as rewarding as receiving.
Keep coming back to present moment awareness
Every moment offers an opportunity for thanks. And every "thank-you" can return you to the present moment.
"On the first day of spring, I was raking the gravel off the grass. It was hard, and I was starting to complain to myself," said Nancy Hathaway, a Buddhist teacher. "When I caught myself thinking and complaining, I switched over to 'thank you.' I remembered I really wanted to rake, and I wanted springtime. Gratitude practice for me is about letting go of thinking and welcoming in the present moment." Accepting this moment as it is, and knowing that everything is happening for your evolution is a great practice too.
"Faith is born of gratitude," says Dr. Wattles, " The grateful mind continually expects good things, and expectation becomes faith."
Create a thanksgiving ritual
Every moment, every morning, evening, and every meal is an opportunity to say thank you. And not just on Thanksgiving either! A formal prayer isn't required - easily bring your attention on what you're grateful for in the moment, it can be a touchstone to the miracles of life that might have gone unnoticed.
At the Self Discovery Meditation Retreats, before we eat, we say a prayer of thanksgiving offered to the universe, the creator, and every thing that had to come into being to create the moment and the meal in front of us. I also express gratitude for the abundance that is present in our lives. That makes me feels good.
Here is a sweet thanksgiving prayer:
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Keep up the gratitude practice even when you don't feel particularly grateful
When life is difficult and when you feel sorrow, great anxiety, or if you are dealing with a difficult relationship, choosing to be grateful can transform your perspective, even for a few moments, to one of appreciation and contentment for all that is: both the wonderful and the frustrating. Scientists have found that feeling grateful produces the endorphins in your brain, the same chemicals that reduce stress, lessen pain, and improve your immune functions.
Being grateful puts you in a totally different mindset and energy level, and enables you to reestablish your connection to your source, your spirit. It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy or in fear at the same time. The negativity and anger you had felt begins to dissipate. Peace and possibility envelope you. You can take a deep breath. The struggle stops and your heart calms. An attitude of gratitude trumps all negative emotions every time.
Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of Simple Abundance, says "You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you."
This is the power of gratitude. Each time you say "thank you", you replenish your trust in the loving power of the universe, acknowledge the infinite abundance available to you, and your right and willingness to share in that wealth.
May each one of us can embrace every experience of our lives as a magnificent gift. And may all beings be happy.
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