10 steps to active listening.

Listening skills continue to be the number-one skill hiring managers identify as most important to effectively conduct business.  Poor listening skills impact the problem solving and interpersonal skills process from the front line to top management. Poor listening skills will almost ALWAYS result in lost time and revenue and effect the organization's efforts to form strong service-oriented teams to compete in today's market place.  As we all know, service behaviors have a direct impact on the organization's reputation, and active listening skills are an intricate part of the puzzle to better service delivery for both the internal as well as the external customer.

There are two types of listening methods we tend to utilize while listening:  Attitude Listening and Active Listening.   Attitude Listening is when we don't really want to listen, and then are often confused by the negative outcome of a conversation.  You might choose this approach to conversations because you're too busy, or you think you already know what is going to be said.  We have closed our minds and jumped to conclusions, interrupted others, and even rolled our eyes or motioned for them to finish up.  Any of these bad behaviors and habits sounds familiar?   If you are not actively listening, you're not actually going to know what was said.  You're only going to THINK you know what was said.   Logically, this will most likely have a negative impact on the outcome of the conversation.

What is Active Listening? Active Listening takes practice AND effort.   It is a set of specific skills you CHOOSE to utilize during a conversation that improve your listening ability as well as your aptitude to respond appropriately. When you're actively listening, you are then able to give a sincere response, not one that makes you look like you're just "going through the motions" or offer a completely inappropriate response to the other person(s).    Better listening and communication will surely have a more positive impact on the end results, right?  Just a few of the benefits of becoming an active listener are:

• Increased productivity
• Improved interpersonal skills
• Avoidance of conflict, both with internal as well as external customers
• Fewer complaints and misunderstandings
• Positive increase in team and department morale. This "behavior" will hopefully spill over to others, which in turn could begin impacting the entire culture of the organization

As you can see, the benefits of deciding to become a better listener are huge.  The list is endless.  I'm sure you can add your own benefits to the list!

Now - there is no "magic bullet."  Remember what I said earlier - NO ONE can teach you to become a better listener until you 1) DECIDE you want to become a better listener, and 2) take RESPONSIBILITY for your own bad habits, behaviors, and attitudes.  Once those two things are addressed, you're well on your way to better listening and improved interpersonal and communication skills!

So keep reading!  Below are ten tips addressing attitude, behavior, and active listening.   And remember, you must be able to merge all of these together to become a good listener.

Ten Steps to Active Listening                           

1. First - check your attitude.  Understand that, as a manager, it's one of your job requirements to be open and approachable - always - no excuses.   If you want honest, open communication from your employees, you need to be available to them when they need you.  Being available to your employees will increase morale in your department more than you could possible believe.
2. Address any behaviors that get in the way of you becoming a better listener.  Don't allow email, texting, or phone calls to distract you while interacting with your employees or coworkers.  Stay focused on the conversation.   Remember, your behavior and attitude greatly influences your staff and their morale as well as your reputation within the workplace.  Make sure they know that you are interested and "in the present" with them always.
3. Making good eye contact is key.  When you speak with someone, remember to look them in the eyes and smile.  It lets them know that you really ARE listening to them.  Also, it validates their importance as a human being. 
4. Keep an open posture.  Don't slouch or "fold into your body" - it makes you look bored and disinterested or uncomfortable communicating with others. Relax and participate with the other person - ENGAGE in the interaction. 
5. Gesture. This ensures others that you are participating and have feelings and opinions as well.  Gesturing allows your emotions to project throughout the conversation.
6. Don't jump to conclusions.  Concentrate on the conversation and the person, not your next comment or rebuttal.  Don't interrupt or use negative gestures or sounds.
7. Paraphrase and clarify.  The purpose of paraphrasing is to give you the opportunity to verify what you think you heard.  Here's an example:  Employee:  "Oh my gosh - I can't believe this.  I don't know WHAT to do!  I've been working on this report for days, and now the computer just crashed!  The information in this report needed to be to Mr. Anderson by 5 p.m. TODAY!  But, IT said they don't have time to retrieve the files for me. I guess I'll just have to start over and wing it in the meeting."   YOU:   "So what you're saying is if IT can't retrieve your files today, you will miss your deadline, is that correct?"  Paraphrasing and clarifying is critical during the problem solving process.   
8. Request verification.  This, too, is a part of the problem solving and interpersonal skills process.  Once you have paraphrased and clarified, make sure that you request verification that your perceptions and assumptions are correct.  If you don't take this simple additional step, you could still have a miscommunication that will continue to cause additional problems.  Always verify. 
9. Summarize the conversation. This shows that you've been actively listening, it provides you an opportunity to bring the conversation to a close, and allows you to address next steps and ongoing ideas, as well as getting your pulse on the "feelings" side of the conversation. 
10. Show empathy.  For instance:  Employee:  "I just don't see how I can get this project done before Friday.  Susan is out and I'm already covering her calls as well as my own. I don't understand what your priorities are for me."   You:  "Sherry, I can tell you're feeling overwhelmed, and I know we've added a lot to your plate.  I'll see if we can have Susan's calls directed to HR until Friday.  During those times that the phones are covered, you can work on your project.  If you are available for OT any day this week, let me know.  How does that sound?" 

Please understand how important it is to be an empathic listener.  It shows that you care.  Once the person you're speaking with understands that, then you'll be able to move from the emotions on to other issues that need to be addressed.  If you don't address those emotions first, you're going to have a much harder time getting to the "bottom line."

Ok, so there you have it!  Remember - listening skills are one of the core competencies for successful interaction with others, and they are the number one skill that seems to be lacking in both front line employees and managers.

Good luck with your journey toward new listening skills!  Start practicing these simple steps that address active listening.  As a manager, your team takes your lead.  When you take the time to sharpen and improve your own listening skills, you will, more than likely, see them spill over to your staff.  The next thing you know, your staff is listening more actively to your customers and then everyone becomes a winner!