Do you understand the importance of fund raising for a cause that is near and dear to your heart?  Each voice, Each dollar raised, Each person that attends a walk or other AFSP event plays a vital role in awareness and prevention.  We lose approximately 800 Hoosiers by suicide each year.  We lose a Hoosier teen to suicide approximately every 4.5 days.  More than 36,000 Americans are annually lost by suicide, with a suicide attempt estimated to take place every 38 seconds. We have more than 20.9 million American friends and family members living with a depressive illness annually.... Is this a conversation we can afford to continue to ignore or hold these conversations to a secret, or do we realize the dangers of avoiding the topic at the risk of those we love that are in desperate need of help and understanding?   Each voice ~ YOUR voice~ does count!  One voice CAN make a difference!  Join us for one of the 8 Indiana Out of the Darkness Walks to learn more, get involved, get information, find hope, find community, get connected!

www.OutofthDarkness.org  

Help us reach our goal of providing these programs to every school in Indiana for FREE:  the More Than Sad program (Middle & High Schools), The Truth about Suicide and ISP programs (Colleges), and Depression & Bipolar Awareness for Communities,  and the Toolkit for Schools~ ALL provided to schools and other organizations for FREE because of walk funds raised during the Out of the Darkness Walks. 

WILL YOU HELP US? Register TODAY!

Indianapolis OOTD- September 10

Chesterton OOTD- September 17

 Benton County OOTD- September 18  

 South Bend OOTD- September 24 

Munster- Northwest Indiana OOTD- September 25 

Evansville OOTD- October 8 

 Bloomington OOTD- October 15

Fort Wayne OOTD- October 22 

There are still dates available for you to bring an Out of the Darkness Walk to your Indiana community, if you are interested, please contact the Chapter Chair, Lisa Brattain, at 317.774.1377 or Lbrattain4afsp@aol.com  

            My name is Tammy Lundy and I am a suicide survivor.

I lost my 20 year old daughter Nicole to Suicide.

In less than a years' time our world was drastically changed. Nicole, my beautiful daughter, was diagnosed with Endometriosis as a freshman in college. This is common and something we thought could be treated quickly. That was not to be the case for Nicole. She went through the process of a drug induced menopause and three surgeries. A hysterectomy would be her last option.

Until October of 2009 our family had never been affected by suicide. Not long after Nicole had her first surgery my ex-husband died by suicide. I could not believe he would hurt Nicole so badly and felt angry. I lived for my daughter and could never think of hurting her. We kept pushing on and we added counseling to her treatment along with anti-depressants, as she felt hopeless. She felt that now she could never fix their estranged relationship. She started to withdraw from family and friends. She was still talking to and confiding in me so I thought we would get her through this.

In June 2010 our Aunt also died by suicide. Things were still not going well for Nicole and she went in for her third most invasive surgery two days after Aunt Sandi passed. Nicole had one day to recover from surgery and then had to attend her memorial service. I could not believe how strong she was. I had a different reaction more of one of compassion for Aunt Sandi. One of many regrets I have is telling Nicole of how differently I felt about Aunt Sandi's suicide.

In the early morning of July 5th 2010 I truly felt my world end. My strong daughter, the one all her friends came to for love and support had shot herself. I was in total shock when I found her and could not see how this could be real. All I could focus on was trying to save her. I remember sitting there thinking how can you be functioning, how can you be managing this? Why am I not crying, my world is ending? After the paramedics got there the tears finally came and I fell apart, all I could do was to pray for god to please save my baby.

When they finally released us to go to the hospital they put us in a little room and some stranger came in to tell me that Nicole was brain dead. They then proceeded to tell us there was nothing they could do. My life was over. I remember telling Greg (my fiancé) that this was going to destroy me.

The blessing I was given is that Nicole had chosen to be an organ donor. It gave me time to hold her, talk to her, try and find acceptance, and say goodbye. Five families were given more time with their loved ones because of Nicole and she lives on in others.

Nicole and I had talked about suicide after her father passed and she promised me she would never do that because she knew how badly it would hurt me and everyone else. I believed that and thought that I could be enough. I suggested support groups and researched organizations. I worried about her taking medication and the therapist she had chosen. When your child is 20 it is hard to let them be an adult and accept you have no say in their medical treatment. 

My family and I have made it through our first year. We have supported each other through all the first holidays, birthdays, and the anniversary of her death. We have started traditions, ways for us to remember Nicole and speak of her often. We do not forget or try and hide our circumstance. Our focus is to raise awareness and help others so they do not have to live with the torment of waking up every morning and remembering their loved one is no longer with them.

I think it is a natural reaction to ask yourself why and wonder what if I had done something differently. Could I have changed anything? Everyone feels guilt as to what they could have done better. As a mother how could I not save her?

The first couple months were a blur. I cannot even tell you how my participation in AFSP began. I remember signing up for the walk and starting the team. I poured my heart out to co-workers, family and friends to raise awareness. It helped me to begin the healing process. I know I am very fortunate to have all the support that I do and thank god everyday for that. My family and friends are amazing. I wish Nicole could have realized she had the same love and support. I will forever be her mother and live to keep her memory alive. I will carry on ensuring that I do everything in my power to try and bring awareness to suicide prevention and this amazing foundation.