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"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."
Im starting with the man in the mirror
Im asking him to change his ways
And no message could have
Been any clearer
If you wanna make the world
A better place
Take a look at yourself, and
Then make a change
(Lyrics from Man in the Mirror)
Michael Jackson
1958-2009 | |
| Do White Men Care? by Sneha Khilay |
There's an assumption that being a white man is easy, that if you are white, you're right and can do whatever you want, there are no holds barred - choice in jobs, promotions galore, choices in where you live and no sideways glances based on suspicion due to colour. Simply because you are white you are perceived to have everything and be part of an 'exclusive' society.
However, during my coaching and training, I have realised that white men do care and don't always have it easy. I recently investigated allegations of racism, made by a black woman against a white man. The white man was devastated that he had been accused of what he considered a heinous crime and the resulting effect this allegation, even when not upheld, would have on his professional life. There was no evidence that he had behaved in a way that could be considered racist and the allegation was dismissed, I was nonetheless conscious that just the allegation and investigation would have a devastating effect on him and his future behaviour. The impacts might even spiral, as the man would be hyper-conscious of his behaviour towards black and minority ethnic staff, who could interpret his resulting, cautious behaviour as racism. And so the cycle continues...
The flip side of the coin is, however, that (white male) managers have told me informally during breaks (in training sessions) that they, at times, feel pressured to overcompensate in dealings with women and black and minority ethnic staff, due to fear that otherwise they could be perceived as discriminatory. They felt they had to go the extra mile to justify decisions. To the extent that, on occasion, they even considered allowing poor performance to continue rather than confront the member of staff concerned due to the attendant risk of being labelled racist or sexist.
One manager said he regularly gave in to an individual's requests to finish early on Fridays although he knew it wasn't legitimate for this staff member to finish early. But, on the two occasions he'd refused, he was accused of being racist and somehow it seemed easier to cave in to an unjustified request than confront allegations of racism.
During one-to-one coaching sessions (white male) managers have shared (with me, an Asian woman) their anxieties and dilemmas about 'getting it wrong'. They recognise that the coaching process is a safe place to air and explore views, without worrying about knowing the right answer. Interestingly, many managers acknowledge that they feel unable to discuss these concerns with colleagues or the Human Resources team, as they fear raising such issues might have detrimental repercussions on performance appraisals or promotion ('inadequate management skills / knowledge on diversity issues').
One manager told me that he was under considerable stress at work - he had witnessed sexual harassment toward younger women. But he felt unable to expose this harassment as he knew that, if he did, he would be ostracised by the men in the team - and wouldn't be invited to after work drinks to catch up on the office politics and promotion prospects. He was also conscious that, in the current economy, he simply couldn't afford to whistle blow, as staff were being made redundant by the very same men who were harassing the women. Feeling powerless had caused the same man to suffer from headaches and nausea as well as anguish as to what sort of a role model he was to his five-year-old daughter.
The underlying theme in all these situations is the fear of being 'told off'.
A director, in his late fifties, from the north of England said he had been reprimanded publicly when he used the term 'coloured', and was told unequivocally that this term was offensive. He explained that he had understood that using the term 'black' was considered insulting and hadn't realised that the 'politically correct' language had changed. He said he wished someone had explained this to him rather treating him with contempt in front of colleagues as this had made him feel humiliated.
There is a saying that 'all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing (Edmund Burke)'. The 'good' white men I have met over the years genuinely do not know quite how to promote equality and this compounds their biggest fear - being perceived as evil. When confronted with the seemingly incomprehensible labyrinth of unwritten rules as to what is deemed as acceptable practice, I certainly do not see these men as evil; simply (and sadly) helpless. |
| Interesting Case Law - Sexual Harassment |
In Snelgrove v Menzone Barbers Ltd, a tribunal found that practical jokes which created an intimidating environment for the claimant did not constitute sex-based harassment as both sexes were treated in the same way, but other acts amounted to harassment as they involved remarks and photos of a sexual nature.
Ms Snelgrove's manager, Mr Smales, had a habit of playing "practical jokes" on her, including squirting water at her and locking her out at the back door so that she had to go round to the front of the premises to get back in.
Ms Snelgorve also alleged that Mr Smales began to make suggestive remarks to her, including sexual innuendos, and showed her a photo on his mobile phone of his private body parts. She did not complain at the time, but her mother contacted the owner of the business who told Ms Snelgrove to stay at home for the day but if she wished to take the matter further she must give a detailed written account of the allegations together with any evidence upon her return. Ms Snelgrove did not return to work the next day and was dismissed. She presented claims for sex-based and sexual harassment, together with victimisation, to a tribunal.
The tribunal found that although the practical jokes amounted to unwanted conduct, and caused an offensive environment, male colleagues were treated in exactly the same way and therefore did not constitute sex-based harassment, i.e. the conduct was not aimed at one particular sex. However, the sexual innuendo and the phone photo was harassment of a sexual nature and was unlawful. Ms Snelgove had also been victimised because she was dismissed as a direct result of making allegations of harassment and discrimination.
Source: HR Director
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| New Look! |
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Blue Tulip Training has expanded and therefore has a new look!
Thank You |
| Diversity Dilemmas |
Last Month's Dilemma
A male manager who manages 20 women does not know the correct terminology to use when referring to his staff. Some women love being called 'Girls' whilst others find it patronising. When he had used the term 'ladies', two women consider this term as 'Victorian' and demeaning.
The manager finds it uncomfortable to refer directly to his staff as women and thinks it is crass.
Responses:
I too run a team of women. I am female myself but must admit that the form of address to the staff as a team is always an issue. I do find it uncomfortable to use the words 'girls' or 'ladies' as I have always deemed them to be patronising when used by men. It is interesting that nobody complains when somebody says 'ladies and gentlemen'. At the same time I would feel uncomfortable to say 'thank you gentlemen' if I am talking to a group of men
When I am speaking to our clients about the staff, I always use words like my colleagues, or by individual name. when I am talking to them as a group, I would use words like everybody, all etc... thank you everybody, or good morning all -
Dr Wimmer - S E Asia
I don't understand why the Manager needs to be so gender specific, there are all women therefore no differentiation. He just needs to say 'Good morning, how is everyone, or how are 'you'. I have more concerns about his team being all women
Jane - Birmingham
Calling women as girls is a way to belittle us, put us down, talk down to us, treat us as less important
Susan - Brighton
I was the only man in my team (out of 8 staff members) - all sharing an open plan office, I absolutely hated it when my female colleagues would come into the office in the morning and say 'Good Morning Ladies'. The female manager would ignore the fact that I was not included in this greeting
Mike - Berkhamstead
The Manager who has written this dilemma is fearful of being criticised. Criticism undermines his intention of seeking clarification. The staff in his team, when disagreeing with his use of words need to share their preferences (with an explanation) rather than implying that he cant get it right.
From Wikipedia
In more recent years, usage of the word the lady is even more complicated. Journalist William Allen White noted one of the difficulties in his 1946 autobiography. He relates that a woman who had paid a fine for prostitution came to his newspaper to protest, not that the fact of her conviction was reported, but that the newspaper had referred to her as a "woman" rather than a "lady." Since that incident, White assured his readers, his papers referred to human females as "women", with the exception of police court characters, who were all "ladies".
These social class issues, while no longer on the front burner in the twenty-first century, have imbued the formal use of "lady" with something of an odour of irony (e.g: "my cleaning lady").
Advocates of non-sexist language recommend not using the word at all, whereas others permit its parallel use in the same circumstances in which a man would be called a gentleman or lord (for example, titling washrooms Men and Ladies would be considered sexist, but using either Men and Women or Ladies and Gentlemen would be acceptable; as is landlady as the parallel of landlord, or Lady Mayoress for Lord Mayor.)
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Our sponsors |
Blue Tulip Training is affiliated with Asian Women Enterprise - A networking solution, bring Asian Women together to share, inspire and motivate
www.asianwomenenterprise.com
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| Events for July
Saturday 4July |
The London Gay and Lesbian Festival community takes to the streets with celebration of costumes, floats and music. The Mardi Gras festival is held in the afternoon in one of London's bigger public venues. Over 500,000 people are expected to attend
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| Tuesday 7 July |
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| Asalha Puja - Dharma Day (Theravada Buddhist)
One of Theravada Buddhism's most important festivals celebrates the Buddha's first sermon in which he set out to his five former associates the doctrine that had come to him following his enlightenment. This first pivotal sermon, often referred to as "setting into motion the wheel of dhamma," is the teaching which is encapsulated for Buddhists in the four noble truths: all life is suffering (dukka); suffering is caused by craving (tanha); there is a state (nibbana) beyond suffering and craving; and finally, the way to nibbana is via the eightfold path.
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| Wednesday 8 July |
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Martyrdom of the B�b (Bahai)
The Bab (a title meaning 'the Gate') had many followers, but as his beliefs did not meet with approval from the leaders of the state religion in Persia, they decided he should be taken from prison and put to death. To commemorate this day, Bah�'�'s read special prayers at noon, which is the time the execution was scheduled for.
This is also a day of rest, when Bah�'�'s should not work.
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| Saturday July 18 |
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Nelson Mandela's birthday
Born on July 18 1918 |
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Monday 20 July |
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Lailat al Miraj (Muslim)
The festival celebrates the Prophet Muhammad's journey from Mecca to Jerusalem in a single night. From Jerusalem he ascended into heaven where he met the earlier prophets and eventually God.
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| Thursday 30 July |
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Tish B'av - Jewish
This is the ninth day of the Jewish month of Av. It is a solemn occasion because it commemorates a series of tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people over the years, many of which have coincidentally happened on this day.
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| About Blue Tulip Training |
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Its diversity focus has developed into four strands:
Training - Equality and Diversity, Managing Diversity, Bullying and Harassment
Consultancy - Research based or specific development focus E.g. Conducting diversity audits
Independent, impartial and independent Investigations into allegations of bullying and harassment
Coaching - For staff from a Black or Minority Ethnic background or for managers who wish to implement diversity, good practice and effective working practice.
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