Thank you for being part of our ministry through prayer and financial support. We look forward to continuing our relationship in the coming year. 

 

All the best to you and your family,

Milan's News & Notes 
Hello friends and family of Relationship 180. 
Merry Christmas Season!
 
I remember the great excitement of the Christmas holiday when I was a child.  Starting in September, I would have a count down toward Christmas and I derived great pleasure in the magic of the most special holiday of the year.  We would buy a tree at every year at the Mar Vista Market on the west side of LA and bring it into the house.  It was a very special night indeed. I remember cousins, aunts, uncles and grand parents coming for dinner and they were some of my happiest times as a child because everybody seemed to be on their best behavior.  My mother's family was from the Midwest and boy did they know how to cook.  The Christmas cookies that my mother made were my favorite. 
 
My most memorable gifts from Mom and Dad were my red Schwinn three speed bike.  I rode it to school in 5th and 6th grades and was proud to park it in the bike rack.  My American Flyer train was a close second, I still have it in the garage and it is at least 50 years old at this point.  On occasion, I pull it out and mount it on a large board and it goes around our tree.  
 
Perhaps the most important gift my parents ever gave me was the gift of knowing Jesus Christ as my personal savior.  We would watch Christian preachers on our small black and white TV with seven channels (2,4,5,7,9,11 & 13), go to church together and and my parents sent me to a Christian School through fourth grade. There was no question in my mind that I was saved and that Christ was my Savior.  Candlelight services on Christmas Eve were my favorite.
 
Of course, there were problems on the holidays as well. There were arguments within the family, some conflicts that were so severe, that we didn't see certain cousins some years.  And yes, alcohol played a part in the disagreements where things were over looked, responsibilities forgotten, feelings hurt and grudges harbored.  While I do remember a few dark Christmas seasons where family conflict prevailed, which was very sad to me, the majority of holidays were  good and the yuletide season carries a warm feeling in my heart to this very day.

 

Relationship 180's U turns...(that end up being right turns):
Then, I became a man, got married and had my own children, the holidays began to change.  As our new family evolved and matured we needed to learn to make changes to reinforce the formation of our new family unit as well as protect ourselves from some of the less healthy members of our families and extended family. Here are several things that we have learned over the years that have been healthy choices for our family.
1.  Create your own family traditions.  Be the adult, take control, call the shots for your family and stand up to your own parents so that you are in charge of the holiday schedule, and not others.
2.  Share time with extended family as you are emotionally able to do so with the appropriate energy and healthy decision making about how much time you can tolerate with your parents and siblings.
3.  Control your destiny with family holiday events.  Drive your own car and tell the family ahead of time how much time you will be spending at the event.  Announce a shorter time period, so that if things are not going well, your departure will be no surprise.  If things are going splendidly, then you can always extend your time.
4.  If you choose to drink alcoholic beverages, set limits for yourself and maintain control of yourself at all times.  Perhaps you won't drink at all at the party and then have something when you get home and you are more in control.  Remember, one beer = one glass of wine = one shot of hard liquor and the liver will oxidize that amount of alcohol in about one hour. If you see others consuming beverages at a rate faster than that, the situation may become more unsafe and you may need to leave earlier if you suspect that things could get out of hand.
5.  Lastly, make it your family's intention every day of the month of December to celebrate the real reason for the season. Luke 2:11 says, "For unto you is born this day in the City of David, a Savior which is Christ our Lord." Advent calendars, daily scripture readings, small presents, games, family decorating, and shopping can all be turned into lessons or remembrances of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.       
  

Relational Giving Opportunities:
If you were unable to attend the banquet, we want you to know that we hope to add more monthly donors to support the ongoing needs of others who are in need.  Even a gift of $10.00 per month for 2010 can be a wonderful blessing to our bottom line ability to provided counseling services for people in need. At the close of this newsletter, Julie will be sharing with you the ways that you might help us if the Lord puts us on your heart to do so.