Angrist Chiropractic Wellness Center Newsletter
November 16, 2009
ENJOY THESE CREATIVE PUNS AND SMILE!

1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was -- 
--Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.  
2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, -- 
--but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 
3.  She was only a whiskey maker, -- 
--but he loved her still. 
 4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class -- 
--because it was a weapon of math disruption. 
 5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder -- 
--and got a little behind in his work. 
 6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, -- 
--it'll still be stationery. 
 7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road -- 
--and was cited for littering. 
 8.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France -- 
--would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 
 9.  Two silk worms had a race. -- 
--They ended up in a tie. 
 10.  Time flies like an arrow. -- 
--Fruit flies like a banana. 
 11.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
--The police are looking into it. 
 12.  Atheism -- 
--is a non-prophet organization. 
 13.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. -- 
--One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 
 14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.-- 
-- Then, it hit me. 
 15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said,
--'Keep off the Grass' 
 16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.-- 
-- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No 
change yet.' 
 17.  A chicken crossing the road -- 
--is poultry in motion. 
 18.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison -- 
--was a small medium at large. 
 19.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray -- 
--is now a seasoned veteran. 
 20.  A backward poet -- 
--writes inverse. 
 21.  In democracy, it's your vote that counts. -- 
--In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 
22.  When cannibals ate a missionary, -- 
--they got a taste of religion. 
 23.  Don't join dangerous cults: -- 
--Practice safe sects! 

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Wellness is all about laughter, love, hope and inner peace.  Come in and enjoy the benefits of the wellness care we provide.  Here are some examples:
·Improves your posture
·Increases your energy and flexibility
·Relieves stress and tension
·Restores normal function to your nervous and muscular system
·Optimizes your health
·Counteracts the effects of gravity
·Slows the aging process
·Relieves acute pain and chronic symptoms
·Makes you feel great
·Adds years to your life and life to you years. 
Find out how you can accomplish this by calling us at 212-245-2099 to schedule a consultation with Dr. Angrist!

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ARTICLE OF THE WEEK:

"Healthy Bribes," By Robert Langreth, Forbes, August 24, 2009
"...It may not be Obamacare, but paying people to change unhealthy behaviors could put a dent in health costs.  Hewitt Associates' Mark Bukowski estimates that 80% of big companies now offer financial incentives for participating in wellness programs, up from 40% three years ago.  The logic is that paying small amounts of money now could nudge people into healthier habits and avert far bigger medical claims in the future.  Obese adults rack up $1,400 more in yearly medical expenses than thin ones, one study found..."
"...Ridgeview Medical Center near Minneapolis says Red-Brick, along with a campus wide smoking ban, helped cut in half the fraction of its 1,300 workers who smoke.  So far, incentives have mostly been small change-say, $50 for filling out a health-risk survey.  But some involve sharply lower premiums and deductibles for those willing to get healthier.  A new United Healthcare plan gives workers up to $2,000 off their deductibles for meeting weight, cholesterol, blood pressure, and nonsmoking benchmarks.  Johnson & Johnson workers get $500 off their premium for completing a health assessment and counseling if needed..."
"...But United Healthcare Chief Medical Officer Sam Ho says that incentives to spur healthy habits have produced "relatively mixed" results so far.  "This is a grand experiment," he says.  "We know more about what doesn't work than what does."..."    

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

 After a speech one day, Zig Ziglar was approached by someone in the audience who said: "Zig, it was a great speech, but...motivation doesn't last." 
Zig said, "Bathing doesn't either.  That's why I recommend it daily!"

~~~~~

PRODUCT OF THE WEEK:

 Acute Phase by Metagenics.  This product is a dietary supplement used to relieve minor pain.  It is designed to provide highly targeted nutritional support for patients who may benefit from muscle tissue support and minor pain relief.  Featuring premium-grade proteolytic enzymes, targeted herbal extracts, and essential minerals, Acute Phase is the ideal nutritional component for the first three days of a healthcare practitioner-supervised acute care program. 
In pain?  Ask us how Acute Phase can help you!

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We are excited to now offer out patients a nutritional assessment which includes blood work at Sunrise Medical Laboratories, right here on 57th Street.  We will be performing blood tests at a very affordable price, and all insurances are accepted at the lab. 
            You will also receive your own individualized Bionutritional Analysis so we can determine your specific nutritional supplementation needs!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Dr. Arnold Angrist, Wellness Chiropractor
250 West 57th Street, Suite 722
New York, NY 10019
Tel: 212-245-2099 * Fax: 212-582-3020
Web: www.angristchiro.com * Email: info@angristchiro.com