Here is some more "food for thought" which I am sending out in the months between my regular In The SpotLight newsletters. These are excerpts taken from past newsletters I have written that still have much relevance today. I would love to guide and support you in working on this challenge in this upcoming year. Please consider my Getting Over Stage Fright workshop and/or some personal coaching if you would like my guidance in learning how to transform this fear. Enjoy! Janet
Past newsletters are archived at http://www.performanceanxiety.com/newsletter_main.htm.
 
"Usually people lose themselves in a strong emotion and become overwhelmed. That is not the way to handle emotion, because when that happens you are victim to emotion." Thich Nhat Hanh
Practicing Mindfulness to Ease Fear and Anxiety
As human beings, we generally resist feeling uncomfortable, unpleasant feelings and we generally desire feelings that make us feel strong, in-control, successful, relaxed, and happy.
We tend to hate the feeling of fear as it usually makes us feel weak and vulnerable. We often become afraid of our fear and become even more anxious as we strongly resist the uncomfortable and undesirable feelings and body sensations, as well as the frightening thoughts and images, which accompany fear.
This is especially so if we don't feel our fear is warranted by facing a real and present danger, where strong fear would be an appropriate emotion to feel. We often feel frustrated and impatient with ourselves when we feel so afraid of speaking or performing and upset that we can't easily get past feeling this way.
Ironically, one of the reasons it can be so hard to get past such unpleasant feelings is because of our own strong, negative reactions to the feelings themselves. Our resistance to feeling the fear, and our tension and frustration when it comes upon us, actually serves to fan the fire on this difficult emotional state.
The practice of Mindfulness actually helps to loosen the grip of your difficult feelings, and these feelings often pass more easily and quickly when you release reactivity and stop resisting the uncomfortable feelings and sensations. Mindfulness in this context means that you step back from emotional reactivity to what you are feeling and, instead, become a neutral observer, noting what is going on inside of you without getting swept away by it.
You notice more closely the body sensations and state of mind you are in with curiosity and acceptance rather than negative judgment. You release the adversarial stance towards these feelings and you allow space for feeling the discomfort. You learn to be with your unpleasant emotional state and you don't try to run from it or fight it off. You are willing to sit with the reality of what you are feeling and let it be just as it is in that moment.
Mindfulness is a very powerful practice and I have benefited from it greatly over the years. Even if you don't choose to embrace formal meditation, you can still practice mindfulness when difficult emotions arise, such as fear related to speaking and performing.
Mindfulness takes the practice of acceptance to a deeper level as you more closely observe your inner experience without getting caught up in it emotionally. It is learning to be with our unpleasant emotional experiences and accepting them rather than negatively judging and reacting to them.
You can still use many other tools and methods to help ease fear and anxiety and refocus your attention onto that which better serves you, but mindfulness is a good starting place to loosen the grip of the fear and other unpleasant emotions you are experiencing.
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Janet Esposito, M.S.W.
In The Spotlight
PO Box 494
Bridgewater, CT06752
860-210-1499
jesposito@performanceanxiety.com
www.performanceanxiety.com
Copyright 2012, Janet E. Esposito, All Rights Reserved
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