"The ANTS voice has no real power over me - unless I decide to believe it." Thomas Richards, Ph.D.
Personal Note from Janet
Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and are feeling positive about the New Year ahead. Rather than come up with resolutions, you may want to take some time to think about what is really important to you in this coming year and how you can use your time and energy to align yourself with your highest values and priorities. So often we get consumed by the responsibilities and demands of life, or derailed by the many distractions calling our attention, and we lose sight of the big picture and what is most important to us. It is helpful to remind ourselves that we have the freedom to choose consciously and wisely rather than live our lives on auto-pilot, in a conditioned, reactive way.
I just came back from another weekend intensive with the personal development group I have been involved in this year. While speaking with some of the members about how they feel when speaking in front of the group (about 30 people) many of them disclosed that they have felt high levels of anxiety at times while starting to speak and while waiting to be called upon. These are people who look and sound completely comfortable when speaking and you would never guess that they had any feelings of anxiousness about it. In talking about this with them, I noticed that they simply accepted their anxiety as part of the process and did not make a big deal about it or give it much thought. They simply dealt with the discomfort and focused more on what they wanted to share with the group than on their anxious feelings.
There are some lessons in this for all of us. We are not alone when we are feeling highly anxious about speaking (or performing) and many others feel very anxious as well, even if they are not displaying any signs of anxiety. We need to accept that this goes along with the territory and ride out the discomfort as we focus more on the message we are trying to share with others than on our inner discomfort. And, the great majority of time, the anxiety we are feeling is not obvious to others and, if it is at all noticeable, it does not appear as strongly on the outside as we feel it on the inside.
Please keep your eye out for an email announcement you will be receiving shortly about a Getting Over Stage Fright Mastery Group we will be launching soon. I am very excited about this new group and hope you will be able to participate as it will greatly help you make solid progress as you move into this New Year.
A few things to note...
The next Getting Over Stage Fright workshop is being planned for January 21-22, 2012, so please be sure to sign up as soon as possible as the time is fast approaching and the class is almost filled. You can find more information about the workshop at
http://www.performanceanxiety.com/upcoming_workshop.htm.
See www.performanceanxiety.com/testimonials.htm to read about the tremendous value people have received from participating in the workshop. It is truly one of the best things you can do for yourself if you have this fear.
I want to thank those of you who have given me such positive feedback about my books and CD. I am very thankful for your words of appreciation for my work and knowing it has brought such value to you in helping you with this challenge. If you are willing to write an Amazon review (or Barnes & Noble review) on either (or both) of my books and/or CD, I would greatly appreciate it. I hear over and over that seeing positive reviews on books and CDs is a big factor that influences whether someone will get the item being reviewed. My heartfelt thanks to those who are willing to do this to support my work!
If you have not yet read my newest book, Getting Over Stage Fright, you can find out more about it and order it by visiting www.performanceanxiety.com/GOSF_book.htm. You can also visit www.amazon.com to read some reviews of my book and order it there. Also, if you order this book, be sure to request the special Checklist of Tips I created as a free bonus to those who purchase my Getting Over Stage Fright book. Many people have found this checklist to be very helpful in dealing with their speaking or performing challenges and I am sure you will, too.
A few other things of interest:
***I now have a Facebook page and I hope you will visit and "like" my page and become a fan so I can connect with you more there: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Janet-Esposito-In-the-Spotlight/212818652062429
***And here is my You Tube debut, if you have not seen it yet (not perfect, but good enoughJ). Please be sure to post a comment, too, as I would love to hear from you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YFVkFdyZrg
***I am excited to announce that I now have three translations of my In The SpotLight book in the following languages: Polish, Czechoslovakian, and Portuguese. This is amazing synchronicity in that my family heritage is both Polish and Czechoslovakian so it feels even more special that some unknown forces in the universe are at work with publishers in these two countries seeking out my work (not having had any idea of my family background, especially given my married name is Italian)!
One final thing:
I would love to receive more inspirational stories of your successes (big or small) for future issues of this newsletter, so please be sure to write me at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com and share your positive experiences to help inspire others. Also, I would love to receive other helpful and inspiring resources - books, CDs, videos, web sites - so I can pass along this helpful information to others. My heartfelt thanks to you for contributing to our In The Spotlight community!
  Pure Inspiration This column is devoted to sharing stories of success and inspiration with others. If you have a success you would like to share with our newsletter community, please forward a paragraph or two to me, with your first name, last initial (disguised if you feel the need for more anonymity), and job title and field you work in and I will include it in a future newsletter. We can all be inspired by stories of success and victory, and it is a way for all of us to celebrate the courage, commitment, and effort we are putting forth to get beyond the limitations of this fear! Here is an inspirational story from someone who took my workshop last year and who has been doing some coaching with me since then: I stumbled across one of Janet's books after coping with over 35 years of public speaking anxiety. Initially I was drawn to the fact that Janet had been challenged with similar difficulties. Janet wrote about imagining feeling at ease with public speaking. This was an overpowering thought I couldn't shake and drew me to her weekend workshop. I had given up hope that I was capable of shedding this consuming fear which was constricting my life year after year. Shortly after attending the workshop, I was asked to lead a six hour training for a school district. I shocked myself by my desire to go ahead with it. Public speaking was something I went to great costs to avoid typically. A friend asked, "Won't knowing the workshop will be in September ruin your summer?" Yes, that's exactly the way I used to think. With the help of Janet's coaching and new skills and ways of thinking, and the inspiration I got from my workshop cohort, the training went well. I spent a great deal of time preparing the material for the day and focusing as the time neared on my emotional needs by meditating, supportive internal dialogues, and working hard to stay in the present. It was helpful to review Janet's "strategies" sheet, listen to the Spotlight CD, and to visualize a positive experience for the participants and myself. Focusing on public speaking as a way of helping others significantly minimized my fear. Since that time, I have been asked to teach a class at a local college on the same topic. I'm actually uncharacteristically excited about the prospect. I never imagined I would love public speaking and I certainly don't but I have gone from being almost completely avoidant to knowing I have access to the skills, the inspiration of others, and information to make it manageable. Sarah, Social Worker Be Sure to Get Rid of Your ANTS! So, why do you need to get rid of your ANTS you might wonder? It is because they wreak havoc on your mind. They are your "Automatic Negative Thoughts" and they do a lot of damage by automatically triggering and building upon one another. They do a good job at convincing you that you are not capable and that whatever challenge you are facing will turn out badly. These ANTS have a life of their own and they seem real and true when they descend upon you and inhabit your thought process. Some examples of some nasty ANTS related to a speaking or performing challenge are: - Who are you kidding? You can't do this. - Everyone is going to see how anxious you are. You will lose all credibility and respect and look like a fool. - What's wrong with you anyway? You shouldn't be so anxious about something like this. - Why can't you pull yourself together and handle this like other people? - You need to find a way out of this as this is too much for you. You are putting your reputation on the line and you have too much to lose. Clearly, the ANTS voice becomes more powerful as it builds momentum in your mind. Perhaps your ANTS voice is not quite as nasty as this one, and it may even be more subtle, but it still undermines you by fueling fear and self-doubt. Oftentimes we succumb to the ANTS voice and feel helpless and powerless as it ignites more fear and self-doubt in us and bullies us into feeling small and defeated. Just like with a bully, we need to learn to stand up to the ANTS voice as that is the only way it will lose its power. We need to create a new voice that comes from our highest and that champions us. It is a voice that is kind, loving, supportive, and encouraging and that is based in truth. We might call this our CHAMPION voice or our HIGHEST voice. The more that we become aware when the ANTS voice starts, and challenge it as quickly as possible by speaking to ourselves from our HIGHEST or CHAMPION voice, the more we will weaken our ANTS voice and strengthen our new voice. Here are some examples of a new CHAMPION/HIGHEST voice: - I know this isn't so easy for you but its going to be okay. - Lots of people feel very anxious and uncomfortable when they are facing this challenge. You are not alone. - Remember that your fear distorts things and makes them seem worse than they really are. The reality is you are safe and no harm will come to you, even if you feel very uncomfortable. - Try to lighten up and not take yourself or the situation so seriously. Keep perspective. It is not a do or die situation and life will go on, no matter how this goes. - Just do the best you can and that is good enough. You don't have to be perfect or prove yourself. It is important to work with your inner voice across the board and not just related to speaking or performing challenges. How you speak to yourself forms the basis of your relationship with yourself. It is important to be an advocate for yourself and create a healthy, loving, and supportive inner voice by consciously directing your thought process to be at its highest. Action Steps: 1. Pay attention to any ANTS that invade your mind when you are facing public speaking or performing challenges, or in any other areas of life, and work on getting rid of them. In its place, create a new inner voice that champions you and supports you in being in your highest. Do not settle for less. The way you speak to yourself is crucial so be sure you stay conscious of your inner voice and direct it to be more positive, supportive, and affirming of you. 2. Consider taking a Getting Over Stage Fright Workshop and/or having Private Coaching Session(s) with me to help you become much more effective in dealing with this challenge. This provides a great way to break avoidant and self-defeating patterns and helps you move a big step forward in your progress. Please contact me at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com if you are interested in scheduling a coaching session and contact Mary at mary@performanceanxiety.com with any questions about the workshop. 3. Please take a few moments to write a review of my book(s) and/or CD on www.amazon.com and/or www.barnesandnoble.com if you have found my book(s) and CD helpful to you. Many thanks for taking the time to do this to support my efforts and help others learn about the value of my work. 4. Please send me any feedback and suggestions as I greatly value knowing what is most helpful to you and will give consideration to all feedback and suggestions I receive. Something else to consider: Many people have enjoyed being part of a yahoo discussion board that was set up by someone in our newsletter community for people who share the fear of public speaking or performing and want some support and camaraderie. I encourage you to visit this site and post something on the discussion board. It is incredibly helpful to come out of our isolation and aloneness around this fear and to give and receive support with others. The address for this discussion board ishttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/speakanxiety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please pass this newsletter along to anyone who may benefit from it, but please be sure to keep it intact. If you do not wish to continue receiving this newsletter or any other announcements, simply respond to this email with the word "Unsubscribe" in the subject line and your name will immediately be taken off of our mailing list. If you have any difficulty reading this HTML formatted newsletter, please let us know. Email webmaster@performanceanxiety.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope to have the opportunity to help you make further progress with your speaking or performing challenges this year. Please be sure to contact me if you would like my help! Wishing you many blessings this New Year, Janet Janet Esposito, M.S.W. In The Spotlight PO Box 494 Bridgewater, CT06752 860-210-1499 jesposito@performanceanxiety.com www.performanceanxiety.com Copyright 2012, Janet E. Esposito, All Rights Reserved | 
