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""Don't be afraid of fear. When you're scared and uncomfortable, you can allow yourself not to do anything but sit there and feel that sensation. And you will go past it. The fear kind of mellows out, and what your left with is more confidence." Maya Gabeira (holds the record for surfing the biggest wave ever ridden by a woman: a 45- footer!) Personal Note from Janet As Thanksgiving approaches, I am feeling very grateful for having the opportunity to help so many of you to ease the fear and anxiety around speaking and performing and learn a range of tools to help you approach this challenge in a much better way. I never thought I would be grateful for having this fear, though I have felt that way more and more over the years as this fear has been a catalyst for much of my personal and spiritual growth, as well as allowing me to make such a difference in so many people's lives. I just had another amazing workshop in mid-September and it was once again an incredibly valuable experience for all who attended (see workshop testimonials on my web site to get an idea of the value people get from the workshop). It turns out this was my 64th class over the 13+ years I have been running the workshop and 699 people have participated thus far! People have traveled from all over the US to come to the workshop and some people have even traveled from abroad to attend. Some people have come more than once over the years as they find the workshop so helpful to reinforce and practice the tools. I hope you will consider attending (or re-attending) the workshop so you can put into practice some of the things you have learned from my books, CD, and/or coaching. Focusing on gratitude is a powerful tool for easing fear and anxiety and expanding and uplifting our attitude and mood. When we are focused on things we appreciate and feel grateful for in our lives, it is hard to feel anxious and afraid. It brings us more into our highest when we remember how many blessings we truly have. This helps us to broaden our perspective and move beyond the small, narrow, constricted view that houses our fear and anxiety. Try to remember all you have to be grateful for and take nothing for granted, even the smallest of things. You may want to write a list of your blessings so that the next time you feel anxious and afraid, you can review the list and immediately put your anxiety and fear into perspective. A few other things of interest: ***I now have a Facebook page and I hope you will visit and "like" my page and become a fan so I can connect with you more there: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Janet-Esposito-In-the-Spotlight/212818652062429 ***And here is my You Tube debut, if you have not seen it yet (not perfect, but good enough). Please be sure to post a comment, too, as I would love to hear from you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YFVkFdyZrg ***I recently received copies of a Czechoslovakian translation of my In The SpotLight book. It is exciting to now have two translations of my book (the first translation is in Polish). This is amazing synchronicity in that my family heritage is both Polish and Czechoslovakian so it feels even more special that some unknown forces in the universe are at work with publishers in these two countries seeking out my work (not having had any idea of my family background, especially given my married name is Italian)! ***I also just received copies of the newest translation of my In The SpotLight book in Portuguese - very exciting! :) One final thing: I would love to receive more inspirational stories of your successes (big or small) for future issues of this newsletter, so please be sure to write me at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com and share your positive experiences to help inspire others. Also, I would love to receive other helpful and inspiring resources - books, CDs, videos, web sites - so I can pass along this helpful information to others. My heartfelt thanks to you for contributing to our In The Spotlight community!
  A few things to note... The next Getting Over Stage Fright workshop is being planned for January 21-22, 2012, so please be sure to sign up as soon as possible if you are interested in attending. You can find more information about the workshop at http://www.performanceanxiety.com/upcoming_workshop.htm. See www.performanceanxiety.com/testimonials.htm to read about the tremendous value people have received from participating in the workshop. It is truly one of the best things you can do for yourself if you have this fear. I want to thank those of you who have given me such positive feedback about my books and CD. I am very thankful for your words of appreciation for my work and knowing it has brought such value to you in helping you with this challenge. If you are willing to write an Amazon review (or Barnes & Noble review) on either (or both) of my books and/or CD, I would greatly appreciate it. I hear over and over that seeing positive reviews on books and CDs is a big factor that influences whether someone will get the item being reviewed. My heartfelt thanks to those who are willing to do this to support my work! If you have not yet read my newest book, Getting Over Stage Fright, you can find out moreabout it and order it by visiting www.performanceanxiety.com/GOSF_book.htm. You can also visit www.amazon.com to read some reviews of my book and order it there. Also, if you order this book, be sure to request the special Checklist of Tips I created as a free bonus to those who purchase my Getting Over Stage Fright book. Many people have found this checklist to be very helpful in dealing with their speaking or performing challenges and I am sure you will, too. Pure Inspiration This column is devoted to sharing stories of success and inspiration with others. If you have a success you would like to share with our newsletter community, please forward a paragraph or two to me, with your first name, last initial (disguised if you feel the need for more anonymity), and job title and field you work in and I will include it in a future newsletter. We can all be inspired by stories of success and victory, and it is a way for all of us to celebrate the courage, commitment, and effort we are putting forth to get beyond the limitations of this fear! Here is an inspirational story from someone who is an actor and college professor who took my workshop last year and has also done coaching with me: In the 6th grade mimeographed 'yearbook' from Highland School in Fall River, Massachusetts the last few pages are devoted to contact information of all 32 members of the class of 1964. Name, address and "Wants to become a......." Mine read: Jeffrey G. 662 Prospect Street Wants to become an Actor. I realized my dream, the inception of it in print 50 years back. Hard work, great discipline, strong training at estimable undergraduate and graduate institutions. Regional theatre, the pleasure of "playing'; acting for me was rolling off a log, a place to express my best vocal, physical and emotive self. And then 20 years into a career and an art I loved, the crash: a role where I had to expose myself in several ways. Chekhov has a character say, "You can't imagine what it's like when you know your acting is awful." And I was awful, IT was awful; filled with terror, the inner critic on my shoulder holding me by the throat, not letting me breathe, not letting me remember lines, and draining all the blood, the 'juice', the energy from me. I turned grey. I spent the next 20 years channeling my art into directing and teaching: pleasurable, rewarding but ultimately, "facilitating others' creativity." I said yes to acting opportunities less frequently, and then stopped auditioning. When I was asked to do a role, after loads of trepidation and then finally saying yes, the stage fright was enormous, the preparation and then being watched, agonizing. Yet I struggled, wrestling with the desire to leave my art by choice, not fear. And knowing that as skilled as I was, I wasn't fully satisfied with directing and teaching. A bit over a year ago, as part of my sabbatical plan after teaching for 25 years, I flew from Chicago to Southbury and embarked on a life changing experience: a workshop with Janet and the most extraordinary cohort of peers challenged by similar issues. High level, successful individuals, all of us there to accrue tools to overcome this block which prevented us from realizing our best selves. Using the tools from the books and workshops, charting my process, I've begun to say yes to opportunities to perform, to show my work and collaborate with my students which were some of my greatest fears. "What the hell is HE doing trying to teach US something HE can't do." Or so the demon said. In April I performed a new theatre piece that I'd spent 6 months creating and collaborating on with students and faculty from my theatre department. I actually felt, during the rehearsals and performances some of the pleasure, freedom and fun of performing as a young man. This week I did a reading at the Goethe Institute in Chicago of a new play and yesterday joined some of my students for a two hour improvisational training: these are events that I could not have imagined a year ago. My action plan: To say yes to and embrace opportunities no matter what the venue, no matter what the outcome. To soften the face and breathe deeply and become aware of 'negative self-talk." To give my attention to my colleagues onstage; to push my "inner critic" into the back seat. To allow myself to have fun, go down creative cul-de-sacs. It's all a part of the process. To relish process and not be concerned too much with product. I wanted a magic potion; I'd drink the stage-fright antidote and have forever immunity. No, like anything worth the struggle, it's the consistency of going into the batting cage that makes the home run possible. Just got to keep swinging. Thank you, dear Janet and the colleagues of my cohort. Jeff G. Riding the Wave of Fear & Discomfort Most of us have an aversion to feeling fear and discomfort with speaking or performing and we do everything possible to not feel these unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings, oftentimes avoiding the situation if at all possible. We are afraid of these feelings and worried that the feelings will take over and impair our ability to function. We are especially worried that others will see evidence of our inner fear and discomfort and we will lose credibility and respect in the eyes of others. We need to shift our relationship to our fear and discomfort so we don't continue to reinforce an adversarial relationship to these feelings, as that is what actually fuels them. Instead, we have to learn to ride the wave when the fear and discomfort rise up strongly within us. We need to keep breathing and moving forward despite the high level of fear and discomfort we feel. Just as a wave in the ocean peaks, and then recedes, so does the wave of fear and discomfort. It naturally eases on its own if we do not keep fueling it with our thoughts and images of doom and gloom. At the last workshop this was a big theme that came up in the group. People were amazed at the power of riding the wave and watching the fear and discomfort subside naturally when they were not fueling these feelings with scary thoughts and images. It was also amazing when people got feedback from others and saw just how private this experience really is. Others cannot detect what is going on inside of us. Group members discovered that the wave of fear and discomfort passes much more quickly when we don't overreact to it or try to run from it. When we accept it as part of the process and simply ride it out, it passes with more ease. It also passes more easily and quickly when we keep our attention off ourselves and place it where it belongs: on serving others and focusing on our true purpose in speaking or performing. The more we can learn to accept our fear and discomfort and not be afraid of feeling these uncomfortable feelings, the easier it will become to ride the wave. It requires trust and surrender rather than an attempt to control what is going on inside of us. Not so easy for most of us who like to feel in control, but it is the willingness to not feel in control and trust that these feelings will pass that will allow you to be less frightened and more relaxed as you ride the wave. Action Steps: 1. I encourage you to write a list of things you have to be grateful for - both large and small - and review this list whenever you feel fear and anxiety so you can quickly regain perspective and uplift your mood and attitude. See if you can also shift your attitude and approach to the wave of fear and discomfort when it arises within you. Instead of being frightened by it and overreacting to it, see if you can accept it and become a better surfer as you learn to ride the wave more gracefully when it comes. 2. Consider taking a Getting Over Stage FrightWorkshopand/or having Private Coaching Session(s) with me to help you become much more effective in dealing with this challenge. This provides a great way to break avoidant and self-defeating patterns and helps you move a big step forward in your progress. Please contact me at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com if you are interested in scheduling a coaching session and contact Mary at mary@performanceanxiety.com with any questions about the workshop. 3. Please take a few moments to write a review of my book(s) and/or CD on www.amazon.com and/or www.barnesandnoble.com if you have found my book(s) and CD helpful to you. Many thanks for taking the time to do this to support my efforts and help others learn about the value of my work. 4. Please send me any feedback and suggestions as I greatly value knowing what is most helpful to you and will give consideration to all feedback and suggestions I receive. Something else to consider: Many people have enjoyed being part of a yahoo discussion board that was set up by someone in our newsletter community for people who share the fear of public speaking or performing and want some support and camaraderie. I encourage you to visit this site and post something on the discussion board. It is incredibly helpful to come out of our isolation and aloneness around this fear and to give and receive support with others. The address for this discussion board is http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/speakanxiety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please pass this newsletter along to anyone who may benefit from it, but please be sure to keep it intact. If you do not wish to continue receiving this newsletter or any other announcements, simply respond to this email with the word "Unsubscribe" in the subject line and your name will immediately be taken off of our mailing list. If you have any difficulty reading this HTML formatted newsletter, please let us know. Email webmaster@performanceanxiety.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope to have the opportunity to help you make further progress with your speaking or performing challenges this year. Please be sure to contact me if you would like my help! Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings, Janet
Janet Esposito, M.S.W. In The Spotlight PO Box 494 Bridgewater, CT06752 860-210-1499 jesposito@performanceanxiety.com www.performanceanxiety.com Copyright 2011, Janet E. Esposito, All Rights Reserved | 
