I hope you will consider attending the December 4-5^th Getting Over Stage Fright Workshop in beautiful San Diego - see www.performanceanxiety.com/sandiego_workshop.htm for more details and be sure to sign up ASAP to reserve your spot as we have only one remaining opening left and after that people will be put on a waiting list in the event there are any cancellations. See www.performanceanxiety.com/testimonials.htm to read about the tremendous value people have received from participating in the workshop. It is truly one of the best things you can do for yourself if you have this fear.

I am also planning my first workshop for the New Year in Connecticut for January 15-16^th so be sure to reserve that date in your planner if you are interested and look for an announcement about that workshop soon.

I want to thank those of you who have given me such positive feedback about my books and CD. I am very thankful for your words of appreciation for my work and knowing it has brought such value to you in helping you with this challenge. If you are willing to write an Amazon review (or a Borders or Barnes & Noble review) on either (or both) of my books and/or CD, I would greatly appreciate it. I hear over and over that seeing positive reviews on books and CDs is a big factor that influences whether someone will get the item being reviewed. My heartfelt thanks to those who are willing to do this to support my work!

If you have not yet read my new book, Getting Over Stage Fright, you can find out more about it and order it by visiting www.performanceanxiety.com/GOSF_book.htm. You can also visit www.amazon.com to read some reviews of my new book and order it there. Also, if you order my new book, be sure to request the special Checklist of Tips I created as a free bonus to those who purchase my Getting Over Stage Fright book. Many people have found this checklist to be very helpful in dealing with their speaking or performing challenges and I am sure you will, too.

One Final Note:  I would love to receive some more Pure Inspiration stories for future newsletters so if you have any successes you would like to share - big or small - please write to me at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com and tell me about your victory so your success can help inspire others. Thanks so much to all who share their stories to allow others to see what is possible! 

Pure Inspiration

Here is what a recent coaching client wrote about her experience after a few coaching sessions:

I just wanted to share with you something that happened today.

I'm taking some courses at a local college and today was the first day of one of my classes. When the instructor announced we would go around and do introductions, I immediately began incorporating the skills I've been learning from you: slowing down my breathing, taking deeper breaths, and reassuring myself it was okay to feel anxious and to not be afraid of my body's reaction, etc. Even though my heart was pounding out of my chest, I did just fine.

Later as I reflected on what was going on during those stressful moments, I realized there was an undercurrent voice inside me saying things like "I'm the only one feeling this way", "I'm different" and "What's wrong with me?"...the same internal messages I've been repeating since childhood. It was eye opening to realize this messaging was going on "under the radar" so to speak, even during my consciously supportive self talk.

After reading "In the Spotlight" and practicing your coaching advice, I've become much more conscious of this critical voice within, and this experience has reaffirmed that I'm on the right track now. I just need to keep applying what I've learned ("play full out") and I will hopefully be able to override this negative programming with the compassion and support for myself that you espouse.  I'm seeing, really for the first time in my life, that my own self rejection has been at the core of most of my inner conflicts.  All of the things you teach in your book and explain in our conversations are starting to come to life for me and I just want you to know how deeply grateful I am for your help.

 
Lynne, Designer

Behaviors and Beliefs That Fuel Fear and Anxiety

I went to a conference on fear and anxiety last month and wanted to share with you a few highlights from the information presented.

First, it was noted that avoidance behavior is a key factor in the persistence of fear and anxiety and it is what leads to fears taking on a more phobic quality.

A final point I will mention is the two main faulty beliefs that fuel fear and anxiety, as follows:

-          Overestimating the severity or "awfulness" of a feared consequence if it actually occurred

Reflect upon your own experience with public speaking or performing fear. Chances are you have done a fair amount (or a great deal) of avoidance behavior. Chances are that you have also been trying desperately to lessen these uncomfortable feelings rather than learning to bear them and become less afraid of them. And chances are you have done a fair amount of overestimating the probabilities of something really bad happening each time you step up to speak or perform.

So what are the lessons in all of this?

1. Work on reducing (and ultimately eliminating as much as possible) avoidance behavior and, instead, work on building more skill in better managing feelings of fear and anxiety.
2. It is fine to continue to practice methods that help to ease the fear and anxiety, though it is also a valuable practice to learn to tolerate and bear feelings of fear and anxiety and know that it does not have to stop you in your tracks and you can still get the job done when feeling highly anxious.
3. Challenge the cognitive distortions of overestimating probability and severity of a negative outcome. Know that this is the fear speaking. Rather then listening to the voice of fear, ask yourself what the real truth is and listen more closely to the voice of truth instead.


Action Steps:

1.   Create a list of your blessings in honor of Thanksgiving and refer to this list anytime you feel anxious and afraid, or self-doubting, to remind you of the abundance in your life rather than focusing on lack and limitation. Also, practice changing the behaviors and beliefs that fuel anxiety and fear by reducing/eliminating avoidance behavior, learning to bear the discomfort of fear and anxiety when it arises (in addition to working on methods to lessen it when possible), and challenging the distortions of overestimating bad things happening (listening to the voice of truth rather than the voice of fear).

2.  Consider taking a Getting Over Stage FrightWorkshop and/or having Private Coaching Session(s) with me to help you become much more effective in dealing with this challenge.  This provides a great way to break avoidant and self-defeating patterns and helps you move a big step forward in your progress. Please contact me at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com if you are interested in an individual phone (or in-office) session and contact Mary at mary@performanceanxiety.com with any questions about the workshop.  

3. Please take a few moments to write a review of my book(s) and/or CD on www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and/or www.borders.com if you have found my book(s) and CD helpful to you. Many thanks for taking the time to do this to support my efforts and help others learn about the value of my work.

4.  Please send me any feedback and suggestions as I greatly value knowing what is most helpful to you and will give consideration to all feedback and suggestions I receive.

Something else to consider:

Many people have enjoyed being part of a yahoo discussion board that was set up by someone in our newsletter community for people who share the fear of public speaking or performing and want some support and camaraderie. I encourage you to visit this site and post something on the discussion board. It is incredibly helpful to come out of our isolation and aloneness around this fear and to give and receive support with others. The address for this discussion board is http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/speakanxiety.