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"You can't grow without pushing your limits." Terry Trespicio, Body & Soul Magazine
Personal Note from Janet
I had the pleasure of leading another powerful workshop in January with yet another amazing group of people. Over the past decade of leading my workshops, I have found that the people who have this fear are wonderful people in so many ways. They are bright, capable, kind, caring, personable, talented, and often have a great sense of humor.
You would never imagine that they have this fear if you were sitting in a room with them. Even if they were speaking or performing, you wouldn't guess what they were going through inside themselves, as most (if not all) of their inner turmoil doesn't show on the outside. People continue to be amazed by this, as they had always believed their fear and anxiety were very obvious to others and that their physical symptoms exposed just how anxious and afraid they were feeling on the inside.
While we work on many different ways to help ease the fear and anxiety with speaking and performing, I will mention just a few things that have clearly stood out in helping people time and again in the workshop experience.
First, slow, deep breathing and "riding the wave" of fear and anxiety (rather than fighting it or trying to run from it) is very helpful to group members and they report it has a noticeable effect in reducing their overall anxiety level.
Second, listening closely and connecting more deeply with others (and taking the focus off yourself) makes a big difference in reducing anxiety, especially the anticipatory anxiety as you are awaiting your turn to speak or perform. Remembering "It's not about you!" and putting the focus on giving of yourself - rather than proving yourself - also makes a big difference in reducing anxiety when speaking or performing.
Finally, group participants became even more aware of how important it is to step outside of our comfort zone to learn and grow, even though it feels tempting to pass on speaking or performing opportunities that come our way.
I hope you will consider coming to an upcoming workshop this year to practice the methods that I teach. Something magical happens as the group comes together in a safe and supportive setting to practice together. A process of healing begins as members feel deeply understood, supported, and accepted and they no longer feel so alone with their fear and anxiety. Also, an added bonus is that people discover that the principles and methods they learn and practice enhance their lives in so many ways that go well beyond speaking and performing.
Please consider joining us for the next workshop so you, too, can benefit from this group camaraderie as you practice the methods you are learning.
A Few Things to Consider:
My upcoming Getting Over Stage Fright Workshop is planned for May 22-23, 2010 in CT. If you are determined to build more skill in better managing the anxiety and stress around public speaking or performing, you will not want to miss this workshop! To learn more about the workshop, visit
www.performanceanxiety.com/may_workshop.htm and sign up as soon as possible so you can benefit from the Early Bird Discount and another special bonus discount (good only until March 15th).
If you have already taken my earlier workshop, you will also find my Getting Over Stage Fright Workshop to be a very positive and powerful experience. I have made a few changes to the workshop so you will benefit from some different exercises and working together with a whole new group. I hope you will join us!
If you have not yet read my new book, Getting Over Stage Fright, you can find out more
If you have not yet heard the interview I did with my publishers at Love Your Life Publishing, where I talk about my new book and my new approach to helping people get over stage fright, you can listen in at www.bookbitestalkradio.com or download an MP3 recording to your Ipod or CD at
http://lynneklippel.audioacrobat.com/download/8040d0f8-de39-0483-5320-69b067282be2.mp3. Please note that in the first segment we talk about my experience as an author, and then we get into the nitty-gritty of the topic of stage fright.
And just one last thing about my book and a special favor I am asking:
If you have read my new book and found it helpful, the biggest way you can help me in return is to spread the word about my book. The best way to do this is to post an Amazon review as soon as you can (and copy & paste to Barnes and Noble and/or Borders if you are willing). My first book became an Amazon bestseller due to the many positive reviews it received on Amazon (and, thankfully, it has stayed a bestseller for many years now). I would LOVE to have the same experience with my new book, as I think it can greatly help so many of us who struggle with this fear. And, of course, please tell anyone you know who can benefit from my book to get a copy for themselves (and my In The SpotLight book, too!).
My deepest thanks to you in advance if you take time to do a review and/or spread the word in other ways about my books, CD, workshop, and/or coaching. I am very grateful for your help and support!
Thanks to those who completed my survey, too. I greatly appreciate your input!
One Final Note: I would love to receive some more Pure Inspiration stories for future newsletters so if you have any successes you would like to share - big or small - please write to me at jesposito@performanceanxiety.com and tell me about your victory so your success can help inspire others. Thanks so much to all who share their stories to allow others to see what is possible!
Pure Inspiration
This column is devoted to sharing stories of success and inspiration with others. If you have a success you would like to share with our newsletter community, please forward a paragraph or two to me, with your first name, last initial (disguised if you feel the need for more anonymity), and job title and field you work in and I will include it in a future newsletter. We can all be inspired by stories of success and victory, and it is a way for all of us to celebrate the courage, commitment, and effort we are putting forth to get beyond the limitations of this fear!
This email is from someone who I have had coaching sessions with from time to time and who took my workshop many years ago:
Hi Janet-
Just wanted to send you a quick note following up on our conversation last week. You helped greatly in getting my perspective and approach back on track - being reminded of what's important, where the focus needs to be, simply just accepting the reality of the situation, and looking at these "new" challenges as the next step in my development - your points were all extremely helpful.
After our conversation I ended up being proactive about a speaking opportunity at work which I'd recently been passive about, or, as I'm honest with myself, I should say that I'd been avoiding. I ended up giving a presentation yesterday to a broadly attended group including senior management on an issue relevant to our company and actions that we may take, but that can be both off-putting and somewhat contentious. Although I ran myself through the ringer somewhat in the days leading up to the meeting (and the two hours during the meeting before my turn came), my approach was to constantly be engaged in the present, to observe any anxiety or reactions impartially, to ground myself, and to remind myself that what I feel is natural. And of course to be fully prepared on the content and focus of the presentation.
I'm happy with how it worked out (both from a personal and work perspective), and this has all reminded me of the importance of "playing full out", taking risks, challenging myself, or however you want to describe the opposite of allowing fear to drive my life.
So thanks again for your help - I found it (again) to be literally life-changing. As I move forward I may look to reach out to you from time to time.
P.S. Just received your new book so am looking forward to some reading over the long weekend. I expect I'll be on Amazon in no time!
Mike S, Manager, Accounting Firm
Using A GPS System to Navigate Your Way with Your Speaking or Performing Journey
One day when I was reading something about using a GPS, I thought about how nice it would be to have a GPS system to guide us with our speaking and performing challenges when we feel so lost and alone (and stranded in a dark and scary place!). While GPS systems are not infallible (and they don't do the driving for you), they do help provide the best route for you to take to get to where you want to go.
In the spirit of helping you find a better route to take with your speaking or performing journey, I have created a 20 step process to follow. Please review the steps and adapt them in any way that works best for you. I encourage you to review the steps whenever you face a speaking or performing challenge and try to follow the route outlined as best you can without too many detours. If you do take a detour, try to "recalculate" and self-correct as soon as you can so you can come back to the best route to take you to your desired destination. Happy Traveling!
Click here to access your GPS Navigational System.
A Couple of Other Things to Note:
- Please let us know if you are interested in attending a Getting Over Stage Fright Workshop within the coming year and what your preferences are for time of year and location so we can do some planning for future workshops. Please contact Mary at mary@performanceanxiety.com with this information.
- Many people have enjoyed being part of a yahoo discussion board that was set up by someone in our newsletter community for people who share the fear of public speaking or performing and want some support and camaraderie. I encourage you to visit this site and post something on the discussion board. It is incredibly helpful to come out of our isolation and aloneness around this fear and to give and receive support with others. The address for this discussion board is http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/speakanxiety.
Action Steps:
1. Review the GPS system and try to apply it as best you can when you are facing a speaking or performing challenge. And be sure to practice some of the methods that have really made a difference for workshop participants: slow, deep breathing; "riding the wave"; and listening closely and connecting more deeply with others. Remember to take the focus off yourself and let your mantra be, "Its not about me!"
2. Consider taking a Getting Over Stage Fright Workshop and/or having Private Coaching Session(s) with me to help you become much more effective in dealing with this challenge. This provides a great way to break avoidant and self-defeating patterns and helps you move a big step forward in your progress! Please contact me at jesposito@performanceanxiety.com if you are interested in an individual phone (or in-office) session and contact Mary at mary@performanceanxiety.com with any questions about the workshop.
3. Please take a few moments to write a review of my book(s) and/or CD on www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and/or www.borders.com if you have found my book(s) and CD helpful to you. Many thanks for taking the time to do this to support my efforts and help others learn about the value of my work.
4. Please send me any feedback and suggestions throughout the year as I greatly value knowing what is most helpful to you and will give consideration to all feedback and suggestions I receive.
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I hope to have the opportunity to help you make further progress with your speaking or performing challenges this year!
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