Transforming Your Relationship with Your Inner Critic
 1. Understand Your Critic's Mission
Contrary to popular belief, your critic is not out to get you. It's out to protect you! Your critic wants you to be perfect not for perfection's sake, but because it doesn't want you to be hurt.
2. Understand Where It Came From
Since your critic's job is to protect you, it was probably born at a place and time during your childhood when you experienced hurtful criticism from others. By identifying that incident, you'll gain a greater understanding and acceptance of where your critic is coming from.
3. Give Your Critic a Name and Draw a Picture of It
What does your critic look like and what's its name? You can disarm your critic by allowing it to have its own identity. This also helps you mentally separate from this critical part of yourself. My critic's name is Carmen. She's skinny with curly black hair and wears an ugly orange dress. Once I drew her and gave her a name, I started seeing her as less threatening. Now sometimes I even see her as comical!
4. Ask Your Critic What It's Afraid Of
Your inner critic is always acting out of fear, and like a frightened child, it needs attention. When you recognize this, you can dialogue with your critic to learn what it's really afraid of. Then you can decide for yourself if what it is afraid of is really worth worrying about.
5. Assign Your Critic a New Role
Rather than let your critic dominate your life with its constant barrage of criticism, let it be a watchperson or scout who lets you know when you need to examine a situation more carefully and perhaps take some action. Fully transformed, your critic can even act as a positive parent who supports you and who no longer stands in your way of creating positive change in your life.
Learn More about the Inner Critic
Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone wrote a great book called Embracing Your Inner Critic. Using special dialogue techniques, the Stones taught people how to think differently about their critics and even to begin to see them as allies. Read more about the Stones and their work by visiting their website. |
Follow up to Last Month's Topic - The Two Sides of Your Brain
Here is a link to the story of Dr. Jill Taylor, a Harvard-trained neuroscientist who had a life-changing experience that clearly demonstrated the functioning of the two sides of our brain. Don't miss this amazing video!
|
|
Learn What Messages Your Body has for You in our Wisdom of the Body Workshop
Join Janice Motley and me on April 19 for The Wisdom of the Body at Inner Strength Yoga. Using art, movement, sound and writing, you'll uncover the hidden messages your body has for you--and you'll gain a whole new understanding of and appreciation for that marvelous body of yours!
Please visit my website for complete information. You can reach me by phone at 760 436-8848 or by email at jbalian@excoveries.com
|
Ideas and Tips 
Most of us have an inner critic that lives inside us--ever ready to to judge us or pounce on us for our mistakes. It's that part of ourselves that refuses to let us take risks or make changes in our lives. It monitors our behaviors because it's afraid we will do something that will make us look foolish or cause shame.
