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July 2009
Vol 2, Issue 4
In This Issue
Video: Five Antidotes for Infidelity
Can Psychotherapy Erase Bad Memories?
Why Would I Pay You to Read This Book?
Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database
Video: Five Antidotes for Infidelity

Antidotes for Infidelity
At some point in your life you will likely have to address infidelity or the energy that leads to infidelity. By some estimates, one partner will be unfaithful in 80% of all committed relationships. This makes infidelity almost as prevalent as chicken pox.

In this 10-minute video, I offer five antidotes to infidelity as a primer to ride over the bumps of this often highly turbulent issue for couples. The 5 antidotes are:

1) Get grounded
2) Make small and steady changes
3) Know your hurt
4) Stop moralizing
5) Infidelity is a relationship issue

I believe that, by itself, infidelity does not have to be lethal to your relationship. You can use the energy behind infidelity to transform your relationship into a conscious partnership that authentically represents what you both want the most.
Can Psychotherapy Erase Bad Memories?
Jim Carey and Kate Winslet in Eternal SunshineIn the 2004 movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Jim Carey and Kate Winslet (pictured left) both pay to have memories of their painful love affair obliterated. Is sci-fi onto something?

New Treatment for PTSD

Neuroscientists Alain Brunet and Karim Nader of McGill University have experimented with using hypertension medication, propanol, to alter the way the brain responds to traumatic memories. This kind of research spawned a sea-change in the field of neurobiology about memory. The research increasingly suggests that our memories are altered each time we recall them. "For a hundred years, people thought memory was wired into the brain," Nader says. "Instead, we find it can be rewired-you can add false information to it, make it stronger, make it weaker, and possibly even make it disappear."

Nader and Brunet's treatment results show promise at significantly shortening the recovery from PTSD and validate existing models of psychotherapy that use "in the moment" techniques to create a new experience of an old memory, thought, or belief. It's not quite about erasing bad memories, but with the right technique it is possible to change our relationship to our memories.
   
Psychotherapy or Psycho-sculpting?

The memory research that used propanol consisted of individuals with PTSD who experienced a traumatic event and later had emotional disturbances from the trauma. One typical case is the example of a woman who was in a head-on automobile collision that persistently experienced the sensation of the car barreling into her, triggering the feeling of terror and her body's fight/flight/freeze response.  The therapy had the woman take short-acting beta-blockers during her deliberate recall of the crash. Because beta-blockers block the action of adrenaline, it prevented her from tensing up and getting anxious. This allowed her to permanently change how she remembered the crash. She did not forget the crash, but was able to reshape her memory of the event, stripping away the terror while leaving the facts behind.

Implications for Non-Trauma Application

While the drug-psychotherapy combination is a wonderful breakthrough for PTSD and trauma treatment, there remain many non-pharmacological psychotherapies designed to work the same way. Hypnotherapy, Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS), are therapy models that have experienced a surge of interest in the last decade. These approaches share the same theoretical principles of reprocessing maladaptive memories and beliefs that undergird the propanol study, minus the drugs. IFS has the reputation of being used flexibly with both trauma and more pedantic concerns like career path, partnering in relationships, as well as issues relating to stress and depression.
Why Would I Pay You to Read This Book?
How to Improve Your Relationship Without Talking About It Book CoverToday, I am instituting the Learn More, Talk Less Incentive. If I see you for couples therapy and you read the book How to Improve Your Relationship Without Talking About It, by Dr. Patricia Love and Dr. Stephen Stosny, I will give you a $25 dollar discount toward one of your sessions. Why would I pay you to read a book about talking less when I get paid to help people talk more?

The reason is simple: I find that couples that read this book before or during couples therapy have better outcomes. There is no other book that I recommend to couples with such confidence. The truth is that there are many, many wonderful books about all imaginable aspects of relationships. Yet none seems to capture the essence of what heterosexual couples struggle with like this one.
 


    
Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database
Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database




Finding reliable information about dietary supplements used to be hard. Not anymore. Consumer Reports' monthly publication On Health has partnered with the Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database, "an independent organization that analyzes the scientific evidence on [dietary supplements], to separate the wheat from the chaff."

Two recommendations from the editor that appeared in this month's issue of On Health were fish oil for mild depression and heart protection, and plant stanols or sterols for elevated LDL cholesterol.