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| Dear Friends, |
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This month in Compass I'm excited to announce that my first MP3 audio download is available! I plan to do a lot more of these in the future as a way of bringing the consulting room to you. After all, you know the setting in which you learn the best. And after reading the two sections about exercise, you might want to listen on the treadmill! | |
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| MP3 Audio Download: How to End All Forms of Criticism |
A while back I wrote an article called Ten Things You Can Do Now to Improve Your Relationship. I've been surprised and pleased that it has become popular on a web forum for relationships, so I decided to do a full length MP3 audio download for each of the ten tips in this article. This is the first of ten "chapters", which addresses:
- Why criticism doesn't help you create the relationship you want
- How to know criticism when you see it
- How you can express frustration without using criticism
- What to do if you or your partner frequently feel criticized when criticism is not intended
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| Better Than Prozac: Exercise helps relieve serious depression |
 From the SMILE (Standard Medical Intervention and Long-Term Exercise) study at Duke University:
Depressed people who exercised [supervised group exercise or at-home exercise] were just as likely to recover from major depression as people on Zoloft, but the exercisers were more likely to still not be depressed 2 years later than people on Zoloft or who took Zoloft in addition to exercising.
How much exercise matters: Every 50 minutes of exercise per week correlated to a 50% drop in depression levels.
Another study found that people who participated in moderately intense aerobics, such as exercising on a treadmill or stationary bicycle - whether it was for three or five days per week - experienced a decline in depressive symptoms by an average of 47% after 12 weeks. Those in the low-intensity exercise groups showed a 30% reduction in symptoms. Exercise also helped people who were unresponsive to medications.
A Purdue University study found that middle-aged runners who had been running 3-5 times/week for 3-10 years were markedly less depressed than a matched comparison group.
References: Blumenthal, James A. et al.,Exercise and Pharmacotherapy in the Treatment of Major Depressive Disorder, Psychosomatic Medicine 69:587-596 (2007)
Trivedi, M.H., Greer, T.L., Grannemann, B.D., Chambliss, H.O., Jordan, A.N, "Exercise as an Augmentation Strategy for Treatment of Major Depression." Journal of Psychiatric Practice, 12(4):205-13, 2006
Andrea L. Dunn, Madhukar H. Trivedi, James B. Kampert, Camillia G. Clark and Heather O. Chambliss, "Exercise treatment for depression: Efficacy and dose response," American Journal of Preventive Medicine, Volume 28, Issue 1, January 2005, Pages 1-8
Lobstein, D. et al., "Depression as a Powerful Discriminator Between Physically Active and Sedentary Middle-Aged Men," Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine, 27 (1983):69-76.
Contact: James Blumenthal, Ph.D., Professor of Medical Psychology at Duke University; Assistant Professor of Medicine at Duke University Medical Center; Professor of Psychology in the Department of Psychology: Social and Health Sciences at Duke University
Email: blume003@mc.duke.edu
Website:http://psychiatry.mc.duke.edu/behcard/Research.html#smile
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| Getting Yourself to Exercise Regularly |
In line with the research of the month cited above, here is a handout from Bill O'Hanlon for helping yourself or others develop the habit of regular exercise (PossiBil@aol.com or www.billohanon.com).
Everyone has a different process of finding the motivation to exercise. Here are some possibilities that have worked for others that you might be able to use or modify for yourself.
Discover and use your preferred or usual motivational strategy
There are typically two kinds of motivation:
1. Away from: Things you want to get away from, avoid or are concerned you will lose.
For example, one of my motivations to exercise is to get rid of the mid-life spare tire I developed during my years of couch potato behavior.
2. Toward: Things you want or yearn for.
Another of my motivations for exercising is that I have become convinced that regular vigorous exercise facilitates better learning by stimulating neuronal growth factor in the brain for the hours just after exercising. Since I highly value learning, this helps me stay motivated.
As you can see, you can have one or both motivations, but most people seem to have one dominant motivational strategy. If you can discover yours and link it to your exercise, it will most probably work better.
Find the right activities and settings
Some people like to exercise outdoors. Others like to be around others in a gym. Some like unisex settings (like fitness clubs just for women). I prefer running on a treadmill because I like to watch the numbers on how far I have gone and how long I have been exercising click by.
Classes and teachers can also make a major difference in keeping some motivated.
Also, it is important to find the exercise that works for you. Swimming, walking, running, weight training, flexibility training, yoga, Pilates, etc. all have different joys and challenges. If you are not sure which is for you, sample as many as possible before settling in on one or more.
The small steps/short sessions strategy
Start with something small to ensure you won't be too discouraged or overwhelmed. Moving for three minutes is better than not moving at all. Increasing the time or activities in small increments can make exercise more palatable and increase the odds you will stick with it.
The buddy method
Many studies have shown that some people are more likely to stick with exercise if they exercise with a friend or colleague. When one of you wants to flake out, the other can offer encouragement or motivation by obligation.
The solution-oriented method
How have you ever done anything difficult or challenging before? Or when and how have you ever developed another habit? Use some pieces from these previous experiences to draw upon to develop and maintain the habit of exercising.
The "no exceptions" rule
Some people do better when they make a rule they will exercise every day, without exception, no matter how they feel. When I began, I made this rule and it has served me well. On a few days, I had to miss exercising (when I was too ill or time really didn't allow), but because of that rule, I ended up exercising five or six days that week anyway.
"Re-grooving" the brain
From what I know about the new brain science, it takes about 40 days on average to "re-groove" the brain; that is, to get it out of its old habitual patterns and develop new neurological/physiological patterns. So, stick to it until, you develop a "positive addiction" (in the words of psychiatrist Bill Glasser) to exercise.
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| The Surprising Secret of Bamboo |
 I recently overheard someone talking about Chinese bamboo and my ears perked up. The home we lived in once was bordered on one side by a giant swath of bamboo; I don't recommend planting it, but there's a surprising secret about love in how these plants grow.
I learned that if you plant some species of bamboo from a seed you will be disappointed unless you know something about how it germinates. For up to FOUR YEARS after planting it you will see nothing except a tiny shoot. All the while it is developing a massive root structure. You can't see it but it's there. Then, in the fifth year the bamboo sprout can grow as much as EIGHTY feet! There's obviously is a message about patience and protential here.
Marriage and committed long-term relationships sometimes grow like Chinese Bamboo Trees. You try and try doing kindnesses, giving gifts, being gentle, sharing a joke, but
sometimes it takes months, even years before you SEE the growth. DON'T GIVE UP! The stretches you make in your relationship to be more respectful or caring or loving are really deposits into the roots of the relationship. Don't expect flower buds to appear all at once. There is likely to be a part of you that doesn't trust that anything is happening--attend to that part of you in the most careful way by getting the nourishment, encouragement, and support you need to wait until you see the visible growth. It truely takes maturity to be patient, to sooth yourself out of a panic that "all is wrong." And it takes maturity to be willing to give your spouse the time they need to grow and to see that time as an opportunity for you to grow too. |
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I hope you are having a good Summer! I'll bring more things your way in September.
Sincerely,
Keith |
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