Last week Wednesday night, hundreds of concerned parents
from all over South Florida came together to focus on the growing issue of
Internet safety. The program, entitled The Communtiy-Wide Internet Safety
Program - The Parents' Role in the Safety of our Children, was sponsored by
many area Yeshivos and Day Schools, including Yeshiva Toras Chaim / Toras Emes.
The program featured three outstanding presentations from
renown Jewish leaders and experts. The first presenter was Rabbi Dovid
Goldwasser, Shlit"a, Rov of K'hal Bais Yitzchok and noted Torah
personality, lecturer and author. Rabbi Goldwasser pointed out that, "on the
Internet, there are many michsholim (stumbling blocks), and therefore we need
great shmira (safeguard). A person needs an agency, maybe their Rov or
Rebbetzin, to see what sites they are visiting. A person needs a filter as
well."
Rabbi Goldwasser also remarked, "We have gone though
great efforts to build homes of kedusha and tahara. We have built communities
with Yeshivos and Kollelim. It had become difficult for the Satan penetrate our
homes. The computer has become the way for the Satan to enter our homes, and if
it isn't the computer, then it is the (cellular) phone."
Rabbi Goldwasser was followed by Dr. David Pelcovitz. Dr.
Pelcovitz holds the Gwendolyn and Joseph Straus Chair in Psychology and Jewish
Education at Yeshiva University's Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education
and Administration, where he is also the Special Assistant to the President.
Serving for over two decades as Director of Psychology at North Shore
University Hospital-NYU School of Medicine, and Clinical Professor of
Psychology in Psychiatry, at NYU School of Medicine, he has consulted
extensively with the Jewish community in the United States, Europe and Israel
on a wide range of issues facing children and adolescents.
Dr. Pelcovitz spoke about the effect that the Internet,
and modern technology in general, is having on the relationships between
parents and their children. "When speaking to our children, we need to give
them our full attention and minimize distractions. Parents are not mechanchim
(teachers), they are mashpe'im (role models). We have to be careful what we do
because they are watching and learning. Have you ever spoken to someone and
they're there, but not there? We need to model full-face, eye to eye contact
with our children. Good communication skills are the building blocks of mature,
stable relationships."
Dr. Pelcovits also spoke about the need to set limits
with young children and adolescents, as well as the necessity to open up a
mature dialogue with our kids as far as what is acceptable and unacceptable use
of technology.
The final speaker was Rabbi Norman Lowenthal. Rabbi
Lowenthal is a guidance counselor at the Talmudical Academy of Baltimore as
well as a clinical social worker and psychotherapist. He gave practical advice
as to how to protect our children from predators, peer victimization and
cyber-bullying.
Rabbi Lowenthal also spoke about the spiritual threats
that the Internet can bring into the home. He remarked that kids who are
exposed to inappropriate material on the Internet may "come to feel guilt,
and that guilt can lead to anger, that anger can lead to resentment, and the
resentment can lead to cynicism. Today's teens may be more sophisticated than
in the past, but they aren't more mature. Set limits. Talk to your kids about
what they may and may not do online."
The evening ended with Rabbi Lowenthal strongly urging
the crowd to take action based on what they heard, "Block Internet access
for young children; install a filter and carefully monitor older children
physically and with accountability software like WebChaver."
The sponsoring schools strongly urge all parents to sign
up for accountability software. This simple step can go a long way in
protecting families from the dangers of the Internet.
Mazel Tov!