WHAT DOES LOVE HAVE TO DO WITH MARRIAGE - Part 1
"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4: 7
Do you suppose this statement by Solomon is actually true. Was everything about her really beautiful? Was she actually perfect, without any flaws? Whether or not she was actually perfect, she was in the mind of Solomon. So much of our success in our relationship with our wife can depend on the attitude we take concerning her. For Solomon, I believe he took the approach to concentrate on loving her for the beauty and perfection he saw in her. His affections, his admiration for the love of his life, would not allow him to focus on anything in a negative or critical way. The things that were not perfect in her body or character, he was able to see as something good.
Solomon demonstrates for us the perfect picture of how we should think and act in our relationship with our wives. No one is perfect, not even one of Solomon's hundreds of wives. Yet, all to often after the romantic dust has settled in our marriage, we find ourselves digging a hole with the things we don't like about the once perfect love of our life. If this happens, we soon can find ourselves thinking that somewhere along the line our work, her work, taking care of the kids, has overtaken each others time and emotions. We begin to feel that we no longer have any feelings for our wife, we can not love her again. We can come to the conclusion that it was not God's will for us to marry our wife. We have just grown apart. Eventually, we think If we leave, we know everybody will be hurt for awhile, but everyone will be okay. We will still be a good dad.
These thoughts have been uttered by practically every man. I almost think someone wrote these down and passed them out so we would claim to have a legitimate reason for our feelings and actions. But in truth, these are real feelings that a lot of men have at some time in their marriage. Some of you reading this will say to yourself, that is me.
Well if you did, I want you to consider a few things. Boredom comes in a marriage because we don't try hard enough to get out of the boredom. We need to find something we both can be interested in and we can do it without the kids. And one attempt at this won't get it done. Every couple needs to establish a regular date night, and every so often, a date weekend. These are times just for the two of you. There are literally hundreds of exciting things you can learn to do together. The key is to be exciting, have some fun, stretch your imagination a little.
Learn to appreciate her strong points. Talk to her, and above all, listen to find her interest. Take a moment and write down everything you like and love about your wife. If a negative comes into mind, learn how to change this negative into a positive, Keep this so that you can come back to review and add to it all the things you love about your wife. You will be surprised at the love feelings this can bring.
We have all heard that love is more than feelings, it is a decision. It is also a decision to take action. In the first few years of marriage, we live off some very strong emotional feelings. These are powerful romantic feelings. If it were a drug, we would buy it every day. We were watching a movie the other night and one of the female characters was having some doubts in her marriage. She asked her mom if she and her dad were happy all the time. The mom responded that no they were not, but there were some very powerful and wonderful moments. She then made this statement; it would have been shameful to have given up in those unhappy moments and to have missed out on the joy through the remaining years. That Thanksgiving she sat around her table with all her family. Joy filled her heart as this was her family.
Follow Solomon, all about her is beautiful and there are no negatives in her.
