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Greetings!
And so another season is upon us: autumn. Every time the
seasons change I am reminded of an old Joni Mitchell song called "The Circle Game."
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Last month I talked about beginnings and endings and today I
want to speak about the cycles of life or "the circle game" as Mitchell so
aptly coined it. Autumn is one of my favourite seasons, but for so many years I
did not really appreciate it because I was too busy thinking about what comes
next - my least favourite season. I guess, when I was in the midst of a cycle I
really liked I would worry about when it would end, but when I was in a cycle
that I did not like I would be afraid it would last forever. I never really
accepted the cycle for what it was.
This year I am embracing autumn with all its magnificence and
with a different perspective. You see I have learned that as well as life being
full of endings and beginning there are also many cycles that we must come to
accept. For so long I resisted the cycles in my life, only to become full of
anxiety and frustration. Cycles are a natural part of existence; the tides, the
moon and the seasons are just a few examples.
How could we have the magnificent colours of autumn or the budding new
growth in spring if there were no cycles?
How could the waves in the ocean have a crest without having a through?
We all go through cycles in our lives. Although some of our
cycles can be difficult and challenging I have found one thing that has helped
me get through them. This month's article is about choosing between fear and faith.
I have found that when I am in a lower and slower energy cycle it is very easy
for fear to creep into my life. The only thing that has helped me lately get
through those desolate and desperate times in my life is faith. This particular
period in my life, as we purchased a new place in Toronto before selling our
existing home as well as all the planning and coordinating required in order to
move to Toronto has had some pretty challenging moments. Each time I became
anxious and a bit overwhelmed I would stop and shift my thoughts to faith that
all would work out well. We are often so anxious about the downward cycles that
we forget to learn from them. The challenge, I believe, is to fully embrace
whatever cycle you are going through no matter how difficult or depressing it
may seem. I have found the best way for me to embrace the challenges I am
facing is to have faith that all will work out well.
Cycles serve a great purpose in our evolution, and by
resisting them we do not get the full benefit. Try to see the purpose of the
cycles you go through in your life even if it's after the fact and try to stop
resisting when you are in a cycle you don't enjoy. I have found that what you resist persists, so embrace
every up and every down and learn to see the purpose and lesson in everything
that happens in your life. Remember this too will pass. From this greater
feeling of acceptance I know you will find a sense of peace that will make
every obstacle seem possible to overcome and every joy even more wonderful.
Embrace "the circle game" and watch how much more you start
to enjoy your life!
Love and Light,
Jeffrey Eisen
jeff@awakeningtheself.com
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Fear or Faith - The choice is yours
I didn't realize until I began my journey of self-discovery
what a major effect fear had on my life and how much of it was all around me.
One dictionary definition of fear says: "a distressing emotion aroused by
impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the
feeling or condition of being afraid." The interesting part of this definition
is that the emotion of fear comes up whether the threat is real or imagined.
The fear that I would like to talk about is the one where the threat is
imagined, for I believe that that is how fear comes up the most in our daily
lives. Don't get me wrong, I believe fear has its place in stimulating the
adrenalin we need in real danger to propel us to action, but my belief is that
fear has gone way beyond its useful purpose and has become debilitating to our
sense of empowerment which is needed if we are to find true happiness in our
lives.
It is possible that fear was used as a tool by earlier
civilizations to control the masses through various institutions that wanted to
keep the majority of people under control. You must admit that fear is a pretty
good tool for controlling others. However, we have all experienced the
crippling effects of fear and witnessed how overpowering it can become. I don't
know about you, but as I was growing up I was taught to be afraid of a lot of
things in life, which I eventually realized were holding me back from achieving
my full potential. I was taught to
be concerned about what others thought of me. I was taught to always be the
best and strive for perfection. I was afraid I would never be good enough or
have enough and if I did it might run out or I would lose it. I was afraid of
becoming sick. These are only a few of the fears that I had growing up and they
prevented me from feeling good about myself.
It was only when I began to think about fear and the effect
it had on my life that I began to realize that in most cases the fears that
made me the most uncomfortable were simply illusions of what might happen in
the future. One of the great insights that helped me conquer many of my fears
came as I was studying the work of Eckhart Tolle. As many of you know, Tolle, in
his well known book "The Power of Now," pointed out that the only thing that is
truly real is the present moment or now.
The past is gone and the future has not yet arrived.
As I continued to think about fear I came to realize that in
most cases the fear in my life was about the future, in other words the
"imagined" threat of what was to come. I began to think about why I had so many
fears and I realized that most had been "taught" to me was by parents,
siblings, religion and the education system.
I was amazed at how many times in a day my thoughts were about fears; in
all cases they were about what may happen
in the future. At one point in my journey when I was away on vacation I decided
to say "fear" out loud, any time I
realized I was having a fear thought. It was amazing in a two-day period how
many times I said the word "fear" - and that was while I was on vacation. Can
you imagine how many times I would have had to say it if I were at home or at
work? It simply proved to me how deeply
engrained my fear beliefs were within me. One of the great insights that my
first coach taught me was that awareness can lead to choice. The more aware I
became of my fears the more I realized I had a choice as to whether to accept
the fear thought or change it and let it go.
But, let's face it, no matter how much Eckhart Tolle tells
us that we should only be focusing on the now, the reality is that most of us
will always allow our minds to wander off into the future. So, when I realized
that if I were going to change or let go of my fear thoughts, I would need
something to replace them with. What I discovered was the power of faith. By
simply believing that things would work out well for me, no matter how
challenging or difficult they appeared to be, I was able to let go of so many
of my fears. Now you may say that's pretty naive of me to be so foolish as to
think that things will always work out well. You may be right, but then again I
would rather be naive in believing things will work out well for me than be
petrified and afraid that disaster will continually strike. What I realized is
that if I am incapable of predicting accurately, on a consistent basis, how the
future will unfold then what difference does it make if I choose to believe
that all will work out well or if I decide that calamity will forever be my
nemesis. Is my true outcome going to be adversely affected by having a positive
view of how things will turn out, even if my view is based solely on faith and
trust? Will my reality turn out any different if my thoughts about the future
are full of fear or full of faith?
There are people, like me, who do believe that thoughts
create reality -but even if you don't, why not choose thoughts that make you
feel good rather than ones that make you feel bad. It's really that simple. I
believe that fear thoughts are sticky and dark and don't feel very good. On the
other hand, thoughts of faith and hope are fluffy, light and enjoyable. So even
if, unlike me, you don't think your thoughts have any influence on your outcome,
why would you ever choose a fearful thought that, as the dictionary definition
I quoted at the beginning says, brings up a "distressing emotion." Why would you choose to punish yourself with
thoughts of fear that are often based only on a supposition about the future,
which most of us are incapable of predicting anyway? Why not choose thoughts of
faith and trust that at least make you feel more hopeful about a future
situation. Now, if you do believe that your thoughts create your reality, then
you will definitely want to replace fearful thoughts with ones of faith and
trust because those very thoughts will create that reality you are looking for.
If you want to be a happier more relaxed person then consider replacing your
thoughts of fear with thoughts of faith.
Since many of our thoughts come to us unconsciously from our
many conditioned beliefs, and since fear thoughts are always about the future,
maybe it's time to consciously rethink the choice we have about fear,
especially the fear that comes from "imagined danger." The more we become aware
of the fears we all tend to have in our lives, the more we will be able to
choose if those thoughts of fear serve us well or if we would be better served
by thoughts of faith. Remember the choice is yours - fear or faith? As I have
come to choose thoughts of faith over thoughts of fear I have not only felt
better, but amazing things have come into my life.
Exercise: Try replacing every "fear thought" that
comes up with a "faith thought". Here are some examples to get you going.
Fear Thought Faith Thought
I'm never going to meet this deadline.= I may be rushed but I have never been late yet.
What if I'm really sick? = I'm
a healthy person and I can deal with anything.
I will never get a raise. = I
deserve a raise & I'll ask for one with confidence.
I'll never get that job I want.= There are lots of great jobs out there & I will get one.
I'll never find the love of my life.=The world is full of people I could fall in love with.
I'll never be rich. = I am intelligent
& resourceful & I will always have enough.
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"Today
is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Was it worth it?"
Mahatma
Gandhi
· "He who fears being conquered
is sure of defeat." Napoleon Bonaparte "Nothing
in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." Marie Curie
"Our deepest fear is not that we are
inadequate. Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,
fabulous? Actually, who are you not
to be? We were born to make
manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Marianne
Williamson
"Focus not on your problems, but on what you
want to create." Anonymous
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